Too Personal?

by mssinglemama on February 9, 2011

I have no filter. I have also been told I have absolutely no poker face, although, ironically, I am pretty good at poker.

With the break up settling in and my single self completely and absolutely single again, I have been wondering what it will feel like to be on a date again. Or to actually be dating anyone again. Will I let it all fall out, all of my recent baggage? Will I turn him off with my stories or my emotions?

I know I’m not ready quite yet because I still can’t fathom it. Harder to fathom is making the time to actually go on a date or to emotionally prepare or react to them. How do us single moms find the time to date? I know I did in the past but now that it’s been so long I just don’t know how I will fit it in.

It took me five weeks to meet a guy up for a coffee date last Friday.

Five weeks.

Between Benjamin and work that’s how long it took for me to find 45 minutes, yes, a mere 45 minutes to meet up with Scott. I met him on New Year’s Eve in a thick daze and confused stumble at midnight to find someone to kiss. I’m very superstitious about kissing at midnight. So, with less than 10 seconds to spare I walked up to stranger Scott and asked him very matter of factly, “are you single?” When he said yes, I asked, “would you mind kissing me at midnight? For good luck.”

“Sure,” he said.

And that was that. Five seconds later we were kissing and my head was spinning and then… it’s all a post break up drunken blur. I don’t remember much at all about that moment or the rest of the night. I woke up the next morning relieved that a) I was alive and safe in my house and that b) Scott had been a total gentleman who did not in any way take advantage of the situation.

Because I had somehow ended up with his coat I agreed to have coffee with him. I also needed my first post engagement break up date. It may take me a while but baby steps are necessary for me. Life is my lesson, so I am always living it. So, with that in mind I went on a “just coffee and ‘thank you for not attacking me and leaving me in a dumpster on New Year’s Eve’ coffee date.”

Fortunately, for me, I have a good judge of character when I’m intoxicated. This is probably what Scott looked like that night. A bit out of focus, but smiling and sweet.

I was pleasantly surprised when I met him on Friday (sober) that he was super cute in focus as well.

I also found out that he is a single dad to a three year old girl, Annie. After we met he “looked me up” and found this blog. Inspired by my writing here he started his own blog called “Raising Annie” because he does have custody of her 75% of the time.

He’s totally together, has a fantastic job and an incredibly positive attitude. So…, because I am incapable of dating him, I give Scott to you. Go explore his blog and you can thank me later. (And hint, hint – read up on How to Ask a Guy Out here.)


I also rarely find the time to drink and do not advocate single mamas getting sloshed in bars. I am very, very lucky to have happened across a nice guy like Scott. Please, please drink responsibly and in the company of friends.

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