Just days after he left, I completely re-arranged my room. I had to. It’s a thing I have. Visibly wiping away the evidence, the memories.
This is the result.
My Mom found the lamp at a thrift store, along with the poster. We’re not finished yet. I still have some stencils from West Elm waiting for the wall. Maybe some leaves creeping up the wall. As soon as the new Cement Marketing office is finished…
Today, the sun was actually shining.
It didn’t melt the ice, but it made me smile. Benjamin was wondering why his bed was so warm. As I was pulling off his dirty sheets he asked, “How do you make everything so warm, Mommy?”
“Me? No, it’s not me, it’s the sun.”
We both look out the window and feel it and see it. Sunshine.
I can’t wait for Spring. Five or six more weeks, we can hope. I can’t wait to see my room in the Spring, when the windows are open and there’s a breeze. Maybe some new dresses hanging in the closet.
And although I admittedly considered it, I haven’t thrown away this picture yet. I can’t bear to look at it now, but I know that soon enough I will be able to… so I’m keeping it. It’s all about hope.
But for now, I remain committed to nourishing my emotional self back to health. So my room is my Valentine’s Day present to myself.
[Those trinkets and jars and plates on my dresser – all found by Mom in her thirfting journeys. I found the photo at a garage sale years ago. Wrote a post about it in what seems like another life time now.]
Stay tuned for a Valentine’s contest just for all of you. I’ll announce it soon.