Keeping busy.

by mssinglemama on January 27, 2011

Busy is good when your life has changed so dramatically.

I feel numb now. The shock has worn off and Benjamin and I are trucking along like we were before John came into our lives. I have found that taking out the trash alone, warming up the car in the morning and even sleeping in a bed alone isn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it would be.

The hardest thing to stomach is this unsettling feeling that trusting a man again will be incredibly difficult for me in the future. I don’t want to shut myself off to men or the idea of a relationship, but I keep hearing echos of promises he made, “I’m not going anywhere,” and the real clincher – “will you marry me?”.


And then I feel sick.

But I am aware of my own inability to clearly see that he had commitment issues from the beginning and that something wasn’t quite gelling between us.

I have also decided that next time (if and when that ever happens) I won’t just expect butterflies, they will be mandatory. Most of all, that’s what I miss. And I never had them with John. But not yet. I don’t want them yet and am in no way ready for any.

In the meantime, to keep myself distracted from all of this Benjamin and I have been busy, busy, busy. Rock climbing yesterday, gymnastics tonight and this weekend – moving into the new Cement Marketing office in downtown Columbus.

Some teaser photos.

The awesome door. It speaks for itself.

My mom and uncle planning the space design and custom furniture.

And a fantastic game of “don’t let the balloon touch the ground.”

Incredibly exciting times. I can’t tell you how rewarding owning your own business is… without a doubt, one of the most incredible things I have ever accomplished (Benjamin being the first of the incredible things, of course).

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January 27, 2011 at 11:40 am

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