From Break Up Land

by mssinglemama on January 6, 2011

The one thing I absolutely love about owning a Web design, SEO and Social Media business is the variety of people I meet and interact with every day.

First, there are the three guys in my office. Their humor throughout this entire thing has been incredible and I don’t feel alone in the least. However, they have to put up with me suddenly erupting when I open John’s Facebook profile and read a happy comment about this or that. A stop at a bar or a game. Or some joke. Drives me absolutely nuts. And I have no idea why. He’s entitled to move on. Typically I am more composed, relatively speaking of course because I’m always a bit “energetic”.

But it’s only been two weeks and when I read one of his updates I feel like a mad, crazy person who can’t get a grip. Suddenly I’m saying things and and flying off the handle in front of the guys.

“You know,” they say. And then something absolutely hilarious spills out and we’re all laughing hysterically. Suddenly I feel better and get back to work.

And then there are my clients. Many of them I’ve come to know on a personal level, or it feels like I have because I love them so much. One, Columbus caterer Rich Rores, aka “The Sandman” or as I call him – my personal buddha – said to me, “Get back to normal. I don’t like you like this, all hating on men.”

“I’m not hating,” I tell him. “I am venting my emotions. I like to let them all flow out instantly. This way they don’t grow stale and rotten and then sneak up on me later.”

“I know,” he says, “You’re absolutely right. That’s the best way to do it, the healthiest way.”

And then there’s a single mom friend of mine who I met months ago when John and I were still together. She’s incredibly independent and content. You can just tell… she has the single motherhood thing down pat.

“Dude.” She says Dude a lot. And I like that about her.

“Men are overrated. I know it’s crazy but I’m happy single. I enjoy my life. I get the boys to myself and we get to do whatever we want, whenever. We don’t have to check in with anyone. And, besides, I don’t want some dude laying on my couch all of the time. Eeewww. No way, man. That’s just gross.”

I laugh at the image of some guy laying on her couch. On her couch. Not anyone’s couch, but her couch in her super cute downtown townhouse, where clearly there is no room for just any dude.

Later this week during coffee with a happily married colleague of mine she said, “I was there once too. When you’re comfortable and you just think ‘this is it, I’m happy and I’m comfortable, this is what it is supposed to be like’ and then you realize. ‘No, this isn’t right.’ It took me five years. I was with him for five years.”

Five years.

“And now I’m with my husband and I am so incredibly in love. It’s like night and day.”

And finally there’s my favorite person of them all, my dream man – Mr. Benjamin.

Since John’s good-bye, Benjamin has not asked about him once. He hasn’t even asked about Murphy. He also has been flourishing in school. A few weeks before Christmas, Benjamin’s teachers pulled me aside for a meeting about his behavior. He was acting out, rebelling, saying bad words. I was completely distraught over it. We had no idea why. I told his teachers, “We just moved in with John three months ago. Things are going great. I don’t know what it could be.”

I thought. He has a Dad now. He should be perfect. We have a ‘normal’ family.

Well… apparently, Benjamin could sense something I couldn’t and his teachers say he is back to his normal self. My sweet, sweet rambunctious and happy little boy. Seeing him so happy, seeing this visible change in him has been more than an eye opener it has been completely and entirely liberating.

Apparently Benjamin doesn’t take to “normal”. This is our normal and we’re fine just the way we are.



I’ve been too busy/coping to pimp our upcoming Sway Workshop. But it’s in two weeks on January 20th at Experience Columbus. The entire Cement Marketing team will be there to teach attendees about social media and SEO. If you can’t come, spread the word for me and share the details with your friends and colleagues.

Related posts:

  1. And then we break up.
  2. This land
  3. Single Mom S.O.S. – Explaining a Break Up
  4. Online Dating Etiquette: How to break up…virtually.
  5. How to get over a break up.

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A very good question. | Ms. Single Mama
January 10, 2011 at 9:25 pm

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