A Single Mom’s Guide to Finding a Manperson

by mssinglemama on November 28, 2010

I missed the third anniversary of starting my blog. Typically I give myself a pat on the back for making it this far without either a) quitting or b) losing all of my readers. And then I offer up a recap of my milestone self-discoveries about men and dating as a single mom.

Conveniently for all of you, and keeping with the spirit of this full-disclosure blog, you get to learn from my dating mistakes or accomplishments. But, just remember, you can’t have one without the other. Learn to learn from your mistakes and you’ll be half way there. And besides, you owe your children that much. You’re not just dating for yourself anymore. So how do you learn to date responsibly? How do you break the bad habit of dating men who are bad for you? It’s not easy.

Here’s how I figured that out for myself.

1. First and foremost…  accept this fact: Prince Charming does not exist, neither does “the One” and no one is going to rescue you (but yourself).

2. Recognize that you have baggage. And own that baggage. It’s yours, not his.

3. Learn how to love yourself first. And then ask yourself – would you date you?

4. Then go man shopping. You can only get back out there by getting back out there, but don’t lose control. You are the one choosing who you want to be with and when.

5. Forget about your ex. He is your ex for a reason.

6. Dump that guy who just can’t commit. If he’s not ready, and he’s dating a single mom, than he has an alterior motive. Note: he may not be aware of these motives. After all, he’s just a guy. Can you blame him for hanging around your sweet self when you keep opening the door and letting him in? You need to know what you want if you ever want to find it.

7. Step outside of your dating box. Ditch the bad boys and date someone you wouldn’t necessarily see yourself with. After all, you’ve picked the wrong guys all along. Could it be that it’s you–not them? Just a thought. I know, this one was very hard for me to realize. I didn’t realize it until an entire year after leaving Benjamin’s father. And even then, I found it hard to break my mold and date genuine nice guys.

8. When you do find him you will know because being with him will feel like being wrapped up in a warm blanket. He will always, always answer your calls and he will do just about anything to spend a minute of his time with you. But, neither one of you will be desperate for each other (remember: don’t mistake love for lust).

And for the guys – the best How to Date a Single Mom advice on the Internet. Lots of sweat and tears went into that series.

Ahhhh… that should keep you all busy catching up for a while.

I love you all. And thanks again for being here. What a lovely trip this blog has been. Has anyone received their manifesto yet? I’m dying to hear how they’re doing out there.

Related posts:

  1. Single Moms & Married Moms
  2. Single Moms and Love
  3. Single Moms Wanted for National TV
  4. Single moms and the men who love us.
  5. Single Moms & Dating (the video)

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