Split & Torn

by mssinglemama on November 24, 2010

I haven’t been this excited about the holidays in years.

I credit our new house and everything it brings, warmth inside and out. The cozy feeling of slippers on my feet, sweat pants and a blanket on the couch with a newspaper on Sunday mornings. I am also discovering that deep inside of me there lives a cheery housewife who loves watching QVC and news about Prince William and Kate. But can my inner housewife and inner entrepreneurial work-a-holic ever be content with each other?

It’s quite the dichotomy and only time will tell. But so far, so good. Thanks to these three guys:

1. Mr. John Bear.

The man is a saint.

I can’t imagine moving in with someone and their four year old child. He loves Benjamin, sure, but Benjamin is not his own son and therefore the little things aren’t the same. It would be foolish, I think, to expect a 31 year old bachelor to form an instant bond with a little boy who is fiercely strong-willed and independent. There is a strong bond between them, no doubt, but it’s obviously not the same bond a flesh and blood father and son would have. It’s the little things, I’ve noticed, that make the difference.

For example, when Benjamin comes home smelling like something nasty. I still think Benjamin is cute but John Bear is just repulsed, like “get him into the bath already.” Only a parent can still think their kid is adorable even when covered in gunk, boogers or whatever else. And then there’s the fact that John has been suddenly thrown into the world of non-stop parenthood. Well, parenthood. We have little help from Benjamin’s father and therefore, only a few precious days a month to ourselves.

In time John will adapt but until then he’s striding through it and handling everything far better than I think most of us would. And as my sister said, “I guess he must really love you.” Yeah, I guess. And in time, he’ll love Benjamin just as much. It’s just different and hard to explain and hard to write about. But I think anyone in a blended family can relate to what I’m trying, and probably failing, to articulate.

2. Mr. Benjamin

The sweetest of the sweets. Even when he is covered in goo and smelling like – you know. I’m thankful he has the patience to forgive me for not being perfect, to love me no matter what and to accept me as the working mama that I am.

I just hope that sentiment sticks throughout his life and that I can be there whenever he needs me to be.

3. Mr. Murphy Dog

The Murph-meister. This little dog makes every day brighter around here. And don’t tell John Bear this, but the fact that they were a package deal made that deal that much sweeter.

I’m also thankful to myself for managing my expectations and learning how to accept all of my guys for who they are. It’s a circle, I suppose. We’re all learning together. Often though, I feel like I’m in the middle. Torn between Benjamin and John–trying to be a mother and also a fiance. So far I have managed not to lose myself in the mix. Luck, I suppose, and a lot of time working on my own business, which helps to keep me focused on what I love to do.

Again, not articulating any of this well enough.

So… it is the holiday season. Officially. And I have a nice little contest for all of you courtesy of Minted.com.

I always forget holiday cards. But not this year… nope, because I am now living in a real house I feel absolutely obligated to send Christmas cards from said house. To make it a little easier on your budget Minted.com is giving one of you a $100.00 gift card to buy holiday cards or one of their beautiful photo calendars.

To enter:

1. Pick out your favorite holiday card or photo calendar.
2. Come back here and leave a link to your favorite

Deadline: Dec. 1, 2010.

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