No book, wedding plans and co-habitiation.

by mssinglemama on November 8, 2010

Up until moving in together John spent quite a bit of time in his bachelor pad.

He’d leave in the evenings often to get some breathing space at his own place. And he was never around in the mornings, not wanting Benjamin to see him waking up in my bed.

So, naturally, I expected us to have a few bumps moving in together. After all, what would happen when he wouldn’t have a quiet escape? Going from solo to mama and 4 year old at once couldn’t be easy. But right out the gate John made it look easy. He wakes up early to make Benjamin’s breakfast so I can sleep in and he even warms up our car. I could go on and on.

But he needs his breaks from the madness of child rearing and we need our breaks as a couple. If we don’t make this time for ourselves and our relationship we boil over. In these moments, I catch myself imagining what it would be like to be moving in with him sans child. It’s an evil, taunting, senseless thought process. But I have it anyway. And it always ends the same. I, of course, would never trade this for a life without Benjamin in it. Especially, when all in all, this life with John and Benjamin is so lovely. In spite of our moments. Besides, all of these issues would surface as soon as a new baby arrived on the scene anyway.

It makes all of this feel natural. The predecessor to whatever is next. We are learning how to take each other in every moment – the good, the bad and the fantastic. And if we have bad moments, we talk about them and work it out. That’s my favorite part of all. He can talk and he can listen. He’s teaching me to do the same…. my learning curve is a bit steeper I’m afraid. But I’ll get there.

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Ricci November 8, 2010 at 11:40 am

Have you thought about just publishing your way through amazon? My mom has done it, and it worked out for her?


Matt T November 8, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Likewise, if you want to stay “e”, you could self-publish as a Kindle book. (That said, I don’t know the cost/benefit with Kindle self-publishing, so maybe it’s not worth it.)


mssinglemama November 9, 2010 at 8:47 am

Thanks for the tips guys, but yeah – I think I’m going to hang this one up entirely.


Anna November 8, 2010 at 6:09 pm

You have a keeper there, my dear, bumps or no bumps. He’s worth it.


mssinglemama November 9, 2010 at 8:46 am

Tell me about it. He is an absolute keeper. I feel so, so, so lucky and happy I had the open mind to date outside of my typical Bad Boy mold. ; )


Kimberly November 8, 2010 at 9:43 pm

I’m impressed with the strength of your convictions in deciding what’s right for you in regards to the book. Your decision was probably a difficult one, but I applaud you for making it.


mssinglemama November 9, 2010 at 8:47 am

Thanks, Kimberly. It was a difficult decision but the right one. I learned a long time ago to follow my gut no matter what. It isn’t always easy though.


Megan November 9, 2010 at 8:56 am

Sorry I missed you!!! Let me know next time you’ll be in town 🙂


Marilia November 9, 2010 at 11:13 am

Everything going to the graveyard? I trust your decisions and this made me do what I was procastinating for so long, which is to buy your book. I just did it before I lose my chance 🙂

Good luck on all of your new endeavors. You deserve the best.


mssinglemama November 9, 2010 at 6:56 pm

Not yet, not yet… some day though this blog will be an archive (maybe on another blog). We shall see!


Sara November 9, 2010 at 1:26 pm

It just shows that great things happen to great people, it’s worth the bumps in the road to get there! I love the reception hall.. Cheers to being a Diva. 🙂


mssinglemama November 9, 2010 at 6:57 pm


I, too, am a HUGE believer in Karma. It’s true… what goes around comes around.


singlemama_cc November 9, 2010 at 7:15 pm

You indeed will get there love! Keep rockin~


A November 9, 2010 at 11:05 pm

I’m sorry to hear that you won’t be publishing a book but if you believe in your choice, than it’s definitely the right one!

Good luck with everything and I’m still working on catching up with your entire blog from the beginning. You give me hope for my future.


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