We made it. We’re in the new house and letting everything begin. And now, without a doubt, I am no longer a single mom.
But while it appears on the surface that Benjamin and I have landed on our 10, ending our journey – it doesn’t feel over at all. Now I’m at the beginning of something entirely new. A happy and fulfilling relationship. Or more accurately, we are at the beginning.
As Benjamin asked me the other night, curled up in his beautiful new bunk bed in his beautiful new room, “Mommy, when are we going to marry John Bear?”
Benjamin is in Heaven. No baggage. No fears.
Only the bright, happiness and pure freedom a 4 year old can feel. In most moments, I am right there with him, but I have had a few pangs of fear. Fortunately, I am recognizing them when they jump out, facing them and then tucking them away. This is not the same relationship I had before and this one is not terminal.
You would think by now I wouldn’t have to remind myself. Fortunately, when I can’t, when I find myself lost in a moment or maybe a few hours of fear – John Bear is right there ready to completely re-define my vision of a man and of what a relationship looks like.
With that said, I want to remind all of you that we are not in a perfect dream world. Life is life and there will always be challenges and obstacles to overcome personally and as a couple or a family. The details aren’t that juicy, just your typical mundane things like getting used to each other’s form in the bed every night, laundry piles in odd places, dish washing habits, and co-parenting + the occasional mood swings. You know – life, earth, reality. That stuff.
But, guess what I’m doing next week? Escaping from all reality for a few hours to try on wedding dresses at this absolutely, ridiculously chic and ultra posh wedding dress boutique.
Thanks, by the way, for your feedback on all of that. I have decided to walk in without any preconceived notions about what I should or shouldn’t be wearing. And as one of you said, yes, I think I did miss out the first time around.
In more ways than one…
1. I am waiting to show you pictures of the house because there are still boxes everywhere. I want it to be just right, or close enough before I share.
2. The Single Mom Manifesto is still right here in my office. On my priority to-do list for next week.
3. The winner of the free homage t-shirt is Holly. I e-mailed her, if there were multiple Hollys.
4. The book is coming along, we are title shopping right now and shooting aggressively for a November 2nd publish date. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one.