A perfect 10?

by mssinglemama on October 1, 2010

We made it. We’re in the new house and letting everything begin. And now, without a doubt, I am no longer a single mom.

But while it appears on the surface that Benjamin and I have landed on our 10, ending our journey – it doesn’t feel over at all. Now I’m at the beginning of something entirely new. A happy and fulfilling relationship. Or more accurately, we are at the beginning.

As Benjamin asked me the other night, curled up in his beautiful new bunk bed in his beautiful new room, “Mommy, when are¬†we going to marry John Bear?”

Benjamin is in Heaven. No baggage. No fears.

Only the bright, happiness and pure freedom a 4 year old can feel. In most moments, I am right there with him, but I have had a few pangs of fear. Fortunately, I am recognizing them when they jump out, facing them and then tucking them away. This is not the same relationship I had before and this one is not terminal.

You would think by now I wouldn’t have to remind myself.¬†Fortunately, when I can’t, when I find myself lost in a moment or maybe a few hours of fear – John Bear is right there ready to completely re-define my vision of a man and of what a relationship looks like.

With that said, I want to remind all of you that we are not in a perfect dream world. Life is life and there will always be challenges and obstacles to overcome personally and as a couple or a family. The details aren’t that juicy, just your typical mundane things like getting used to each other’s form in the bed every night, laundry piles in odd places, dish washing habits, and co-parenting + the occasional mood swings. You know – life, earth, reality. That stuff.

But, guess what I’m doing next week? Escaping from all reality for a few hours to try on wedding dresses at this absolutely, ridiculously chic and ultra posh wedding dress boutique.

Thanks, by the way, for your feedback on all of that. I have decided to walk in without any preconceived notions about what I should or shouldn’t be wearing. And as one of you said, yes, I think I did miss out the first time around.

In more ways than one…


1. I am waiting to show you pictures of the house because there are still boxes everywhere. I want it to be just right, or close enough before I share.

2. The Single Mom Manifesto is still right here in my office. On my priority to-do list for next week.

3. The winner of the free homage t-shirt is Holly. I e-mailed her, if there were multiple Hollys.

4. The book is coming along, we are title shopping right now and shooting aggressively for a November 2nd publish date. Keeping my fingers crossed on that one.

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Jennifer October 1, 2010 at 6:11 pm

The bridal store looks awesome! I have the perfect idea…you should take pictures of yourself trying on the dresses and let figure out which one was “the one”. Of course, if you do find “the one” there.

I just got married on August 29 and my son and I moved in with my wonderful husband one week before the wedding. Life is great having us all together. My husband is everything I’d ever hoped for but I totally know what you mean – every day life does have its issues as we all settle in together. But there isn’t a more perfect person than my husband to work all those things out with.



Anna October 1, 2010 at 10:47 pm

So happy for you. Seems as if I am a couple of months/years behind you, but on the same path. We have decided to move south to be with The Man, and be closer to my parents. I have to find a job first, with no hope of finding one that pays even remotely as well as the one I have here, but you don’t turn down happiness, and I can just feel in my bones that this is the right decision.

On the subject of moving, my son remarked to me that his dad moved back to New York “to be with his mom”, so I should move south to be with my mom. I asked if he would like to come with me, and he said, “Yes!” Out of the mouths of babes…


A October 2, 2010 at 2:46 pm

You give me hope…one day, my divorce will be over, I’ll have healed (somewhat), and I’ll find the man that is true happiness.

I’m so happy for you and can’t wait to see pictures of the new house!


Bron McClain October 2, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Hi just came across your blog, it’s great! Have a read of mine too x


Dawn October 3, 2010 at 12:28 am

I admire your willingness to hold tight to your ideals for your life … I admire your little Ben for voicing his hunger to belong to something bigger – so beautifully strengthened by the love he surely feels a great sense of. You are always “home base” as he plays hide and seek through the rest of his life … as he determines who he wants to be. You are the mighty protector in his eyes and he trusts your heart. Your heart that sees it’s way through cracks … always open and readily embracing for more life. Well done my dear One.

I smile to this beautiful you … to fully embracing new beginnings and trusting life fully. Inspiration lives here for many. Never stop writing.


~Monica October 3, 2010 at 1:30 pm

Congratulations Mama : )

Oh how I love Benjamin saying “when are we going to marry John Bear” so amazingly sweet and perfect.

Can’t wait to see the new house pics! Totally excited for you guys : )


Holly November 3, 2010 at 9:29 pm

YEA!!! I won the T-shirt and it’s pink, adorable and fabulous. .
I am a single mama with a 9 month old, I just recently started dating an awesome guy!
I <3 your blog, I have your necklace and you motivate me when I get scared and crazy about my life. I hope me and my son can end up with our own happily ever after!


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