8 Days

by mssinglemama on September 12, 2010

In eight days we’ll be officially moving on to our lives with a John Bear and a Murphy Dog in the picture. And what could be finer?

Dreams do come true.

But this is just one of the dreams I had. The first was to escape my first marriage, the second to recover financially and emotionally and the third was to find satisfaction and happiness solo, without a man around at all.

Between packing and working John and I are stealing moments to ourselves and as the move draws closer and closer, I’m feeling more and more – dare I say it – butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I’m more in love with him now than I ever have been at any other time in our relationship. This pragmatic, lead weight love just grows on you – better and better as you pass each milestone together, especially the stressful and harrowing ones that have you both at your worst and your best in simultaneous moments.


Happiness abounds right now and I have to admit, I’m not quite sure what to make of this. I owe most of the credit to John Bear for leading the way and sticking with me even when I tried my hardest to push him away.

When I did he would say, “I’m not sure that you know what love means, but I’m going to show you.” Then he would add, “And, I’m not going anywhere.”

At first I reacted to these statements with fear, shutting down and closing him off and out. But then, slowly but surely, my reaction of fear turned into acceptance. I let him happen. I let us happen.

He was right. I didn’t know what love was, but now I do. And oh my gosh, is it worth the growing pains it took to get here.

I may be a bit quiet over the next few weeks during this move. But I’ll be posting lots of pictures and fun from our chaos. In the meantime and make sure you enter to win a free t-shirt from Homage.

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Jennifer June September 12, 2010 at 1:59 pm

OH! Butterflies, how I miss you.
Enjoy the next chapter of your life as much as I enjoy your leaf necklace…which I do… immensely.
In fact I’m entirely jealous that you have it and I don’t. Come to think of it, ditto for the butterflies.
Nah… I’m happy for you (But just about the butterflies because I really NEED your necklace).


marisol September 12, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Reading this just made me cry… I am truly happy for other people when they find their partner out there in this crazy world. and I like you also believe that dreams do come true. I am at the part where I am happy figuring out things on my own… wouldn’t mind having someone but I am not willing to accept anything less than what I believe I deserve… some day it will happen. Congratulations and wish the best for you both πŸ™‚


Lisa September 12, 2010 at 2:12 pm

I am SO happy for you and you’re SO wonderful! Thank goodness for you and thank goodness for John Bear. I love following your journey. You are such an inspiration. Hope the move goes smoothly and I look forward to the pictures!


Sheial September 12, 2010 at 2:13 pm

So happy for you. Dreams do come true. πŸ™‚ I’m still dreaming, but I have faith that one day it will happen for me and my little guy.


Lisa September 12, 2010 at 2:14 pm

I am SO happy for you!


Glenda September 12, 2010 at 3:16 pm

So happy for you, John Bear and Benjamin. Dreams do come true. Like they say “when one door closes, another opens”! Best of luck in your next chapter…in your journey of love and life. Live, Love, Laugh!


Thrifty Vintage Chic September 12, 2010 at 3:20 pm

simply beautiful … especially regarding the growing pains of love and pushing past the fear.


Jessica September 12, 2010 at 3:33 pm

So proud of you and happy for you!!! πŸ™‚


arscuore September 12, 2010 at 3:43 pm

Thanks, MSM. This time 2 years ago was a dark time. This time 1 year ago, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be in love again. Reading your blog this whole time shed a lot of light on being a single mom in the real world. Taking a risk in January has lead me to be in real love, this time. You are the best and deserve the best!


Theresa September 12, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Find happiness on my own was one of my biggest struggles in life! The funniest part was, the minute was happy by myself, along came my husband. I still have to remind myself to find my happiness inside myself. Good luck with your move!


Lori September 13, 2010 at 11:57 am

Posts like these give me hope. I just finally put a permanent end to an 11 year relationship that I held onto out of fear of being alone. I have read your blog for a few years now, long enough to recognize the happiness in your tone and in your pictures you post. You finding John Bear has made me reconsider my future and the possibility of finding a love and respect as true as you two share. So I’m alone now and have made myself the happiest I’ve been in the past decade. Which is sad because I’m not yet 29. So thanks for planting the seed that although it was hard and will continue to be hard at times- that my happiness is worth a little struggle.
I know you struggle with whether to continue this blog occassionally… but I hope you don’t because you’ve made a difference lady. In mine and several other lives I’m sure.


Alex September 13, 2010 at 10:48 pm

I love the way you’ve encapsulated your feelings. It’s so genuine and telling…

“This pragmatic, lead weight love just grows on you – better and better as you pass each milestone together, especially the stressful and harrowing ones that have you both at your worst and your best in simultaneous moments.” You write great.


Aplus September 14, 2010 at 5:03 am

You go girl I am so happy for you…


girlplease September 14, 2010 at 2:07 pm

I need to know how did you recover financially and emotionally? I have ZERO support system (can’t move back home for the debt he got me into). Friends live near the border of 2 states. I have a good job that I can’t leave. I’m losing 50% of EVERYTHING to him and hardly even getting 20% of child support on his crap income (which fluctuates to crappy to worse).

So how does someone who is spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically spent supposed to cover when they have zero support system?

You turned your life around w/ a child and I’m extremely happy for you. But any advice to those with a 2 year old who wants to do the same?


Baby Pickel September 14, 2010 at 4:26 pm

I am so happy & excited for you!!! πŸ˜€
I am so happy, too…that you have the amazing thing called butterflies! They are the absolute best πŸ™‚


Single Happy Mom September 14, 2010 at 6:29 pm

Wow! A fairy tale has come true…unbeliveable. I guess dreams do come true? I still have a hard time believing that, but at least it is a reality for you and I congratulate you for never giving up on your dream.

Very happy for you, hope everything continues in the “happy” path for all of you. Best of luck!!!


DharmaMama September 16, 2010 at 9:39 pm

Mazel Tov! Wishing you all the very best in this new chapter in your life. You have been such an inspiration to single mamas everywhere. There are many dark nights when I think, “No one will ever want me and my complicated baggage.” You make me believe it can happen for me too. πŸ™‚ Big hugs!


healy September 18, 2010 at 2:19 am

very happy to see someone glow! wish you luck. . .


Baby September 18, 2010 at 1:51 pm

So good to hear stories like this!


Dane September 22, 2010 at 4:29 am

Hi there I’m a new Single mom browsing the web for some good blog and I find your blog very interesting. Bookmarking your blog now. Thanks


shirley logan September 28, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Hi! Great Blog you have here! I love your honesty! I was browsing the internet for blog sites for single mothers and ran across yours. I am so happy to hear your story, as mine, has hope intertwined and that you have chosen to love and BE loved again. I was single for 5 years after escaping an abusive relationship. At the time my kids were 4,5,6,and 7. I have quite a story. Anyway, in the middle of all that, I wrote and produced an album that I am just now releasing and promoting the “grass roots” way! I would love it if you would visit my website and if you think it would be an encouragement to your readers, send them my way. I noticed from time to time, you link to songs, etc. Whether you share my music with your readers or not, I want to share one with you (not promoting here… this song is not available yet… it is a demo version I uploaded today for YOU to hear because of your “8 days” blog post. I will delete it in a few days) Please take a listen… I think you will identify with it! Here is the link to my player on my website. Scroll down to the bottom of the list of songs to find “I Won’t Be Afraid”. If you are interested, you can navigate the rest of the site from there! Blessings to you and your new family! Shirley


Steven Zuckerborg February 20, 2011 at 3:23 am

Very good article. I am single mom with only one child. It’s hard work but, I love him so much. I couldn’t even image that times six.
help for single mothers


Western Sky October 21, 2011 at 1:01 am

Need to recognize that raising children alone is difficult. I raised an only child I have to admit that much.


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