8 Days

by mssinglemama on September 12, 2010

Eight days of semi-single momdom left.

I know I’m not entirely a single mom anymore, having a man around and all. A deeply considerate and helpful man at that. But still, in eight days that door will be permanently shut, right now it’s swinging back and forth a bit and there’s a crack of light shining through.

In eight days we’ll be officially moving on to our lives with a John Bear and a Murphy Dog in the picture. And what could be finer?

Dreams do come true.

But this is just one of the dreams I had. The first was to escape my first marriage, the second to recover financially and emotionally and the third was to find satisfaction and happiness solo, without a man around at all.

Between packing and working John and I are stealing moments to ourselves and as the move draws closer and closer, I’m feeling more and more – dare I say it – butterflies in my stomach. I feel like I’m more in love with him now than I ever have been at any other time in our relationship. This pragmatic, lead weight love just grows on you – better and better as you pass each milestone together, especially the stressful and harrowing ones that have you both at your worst and your best in simultaneous moments.

Anyhow.

Happiness abounds right now and I have to admit, I’m not quite sure what to make of this. I owe most of the credit to John Bear for leading the way and sticking with me even when I tried my hardest to push him away.

When I did he would say, “I’m not sure that you know what love means, but I’m going to show you.” Then he would add, “And, I’m not going anywhere.”

At first I reacted to these statements with fear, shutting down and closing him off and out. But then, slowly but surely, my reaction of fear turned into acceptance. I let him happen. I let us happen.

He was right. I didn’t know what love was, but now I do. And oh my gosh, is it worth the growing pains it took to get here.

I may be a bit quiet over the next few weeks during this move. But I’ll be posting lots of pictures and fun from our chaos. In the meantime and make sure you enter to win a free t-shirt from Homage.

Related posts:

  1. Single Mama Signing Off (for a few days)
  2. Whispers
  3. Something Missing
  4. Everything you’ll ever need…
  5. Butterflies vs. Lead Weights

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