Where did my baby go?

by mssinglemama on July 31, 2010

John took Benjamin out for the morning, they’re using the first ten dollars he’s ever earned ($4.00 from last night’s Lemonade stand with Sydney, and $5.00 from today’s chores) to buy a toy.

I’m here at home organizing boxes and boxes of baby clothes, sorting them by age. All of them are a mess, tossed into boxes randomly by my formerly single and completely overwhelmed self. I remember the feeling of each little shirt and sweat pants. I can even remember what goes with what. And, I can remember exactly what it used to feel like to hold this guy when he was wearing them.

And then the tears come. Just a few. Silent, stuck in my throat, trying to swallow them back down but missing my little guy so much. The big question on my mind today – where did my baby go? It’s as if he was here and – poof – someone came and took him away, a sweet little fairy in the middle of the night, waving her wand and turning my baby into this giant boy who is doing chores and buying things.

My big thought of the day – I better pack these clothes up just so, because we’ll be needing them again soon enough. Can you even imagine how cute a little Baby Bear will be? And he’ll have such an awesome, helpful big brother waiting for him.

Wedding first and the date is set for May 14th.

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Momma Sunshine July 31, 2010 at 2:15 pm

May 14th! That’s my birthday. :-)

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Ricci July 31, 2010 at 3:02 pm

The date, is day before my youngest turns 6.

As for your feelings, that’s how I felt about my kids at different occasions. Now I have to middle schoolers, and we had to have conversations, I didn’t think I would have, but are necessary for the realities of today, on top of the conversations of how to deal with the trauma that we are getting over.

It’s been a year as of Aug 3rd, that we walked away from the abuse of every kind towards us. I cried at that realization, like you did for your son. They grew up, without me knowing it, until I had to buy bras for my daughter, and saw my son checking girls out. I think I’m able to deal with my baby going to kindergarten since I’ve been their twice already.

You may wanna carry the tissues around girl, I have been finding that watching them makes you emotional over everything, lol. You have to realize, just like someone told me, its a great cry. That you held this life in your hands, and developed this great person, from the womb to this point. That they amaze you, and shock you everyday.

What I’m trying to get used to is the hormones, cherish the simple, cause I think I may lose my hair at this point, lol, but I still love them period. When you have one who’s hormonal, but gets the best grade for the President to recognize nationally, I can overlook it. The other have brain and back surgery, and join the leadership club, functioning on one half of a brain, you other look the attitude…sometimes.

Point is, you know you are beginning to see that you are raising someone that is getting ready to take over the world in one way or the other, just like I think mine will too, lol.

Welcome to the realization club, the population is huge!

-Ricci

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Cibele July 31, 2010 at 3:12 pm

I did the same thing recently and I cried rivers looking at the tiny little clothes. Time flies doesn’t it? I cried a little more becuase I see no hope to ever have a child again. I am so happy to see you thinking about the future!

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Amanda July 31, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Sounds like a wonderful life! Congratulations! =)

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Tracy July 31, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!

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Johanna July 31, 2010 at 5:04 pm

Congratulations!! This is great news! What will you wear? What will it be like? I hope you keep us updated!

And … maybe you want to consider, before bringing another new being into this world, is spanking is the appropriate thing to do so.

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Jamie July 31, 2010 at 7:19 pm

Congratulations!! I have been feeling a little baby fever lately too… My son is just a little younger than Ben, he will be four in December. I am a ways away from wedding plans and babies though. Maybe someday! Cross your fingers for me :)

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Lori July 31, 2010 at 7:43 pm

That is very exciting! Planning a wedding and thinking about the future is so much fun!! Can’t wait to join you all on the journey (through your blog of course)!

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Amanda July 31, 2010 at 9:21 pm

I feel the same way about my son. When he was going to Kindergarten, I slowly sorted through all his clothes and I had a mommy moment too and cried because he was little anymore. Now, he is getting older and I am teaching how to be independent it makes me miss the days when he was a toddler. I truely cherished those memories. My newest thing is to see how much he has grown compared to older photos.

I wish you guys the best!!

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Shelby August 1, 2010 at 6:44 am

Kids grow up fast! You never realize but your parents always told you that but it didn’t hit you until you become a parent!

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Anonymous August 1, 2010 at 10:14 am

I think once we have kids, like passes like the blink of an eye. I have a 9

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charity August 2, 2010 at 1:43 am

Just a GD minute! You said how cute a baby bear WILL BE not WOULD BE. Girl, are you pregnant??????

Either you’re being super subtle or I’m over-reading your use of grammar.

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mssinglemama August 2, 2010 at 9:50 am

Nope! Not yet… wedding first, definitely. ; )

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christina August 2, 2010 at 6:17 am

yes sometimes it feels like time just fly away. And I think it will be good for your son to have a brother or sister now.

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Gilbey August 2, 2010 at 11:52 am

Do you know what a “sycophant” is?

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Bobbi August 2, 2010 at 11:55 am

Can you eat an apple through a picket fence?

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Glenda August 2, 2010 at 12:55 pm

Congrats! and can’t wait to hear all about the wedding planning and the new journey. You oh so deserve it… all 3 of you!

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Annie August 2, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Be careful when you say that whole wedding first…..
I said that.
Did everything in my power to prevent baby before wedding.
Let’s just say, when we got married I was 4 months pregnant.

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Valerie August 2, 2010 at 11:19 pm

A date?!

Congrats!
I feel you on the baby clothes thing. That’s why I clear them out every season. There’s this wonderful consignment sale (JBF) that roles into town every fall and winter. There, I can sell his things and then buy him new (well, gently used) things.

It’s hard to say goodbye to the clothes, but I know it would be so much harder if I waited a few years. I also hope it will be a little nudge in fate’s direction to line me up for a second child. Ya know, man, it’s too bad I got rid of all of those clothes. ;)

Congrats again!!!

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Suzie August 3, 2010 at 10:21 am

Hair = Skunk
Her = Skank

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mommybella August 3, 2010 at 11:09 am

nobody asked for your opinion. If you don’t like what you see than simply don’t read it. No one is forcing you.

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Anonymous August 3, 2010 at 11:29 am

Nor did anyone ask for your opinion, either, you mindless lemming. Try a little independent though once in a while. It’ll be good for you.

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mommybella August 3, 2010 at 11:07 am

so happy for all of you. you give the rest of us single mothers hope that we will one day find happiness. Cant wait to hear/see the details of the wedding!

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Brenda August 4, 2010 at 10:36 am

What would you do if you didn’t have all these mindless, suckling lemmings to stroke your ego every day? Would you collapse under the massive weight of your own insecurities and frailty? Some people are dependent on chemicals to prop them up. Your drug is your flash mob of followers. A sad existence, really.

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Megan August 10, 2010 at 12:32 am

I will never understand why you people are here? Why do you feel the need to read if you don’t like her? Go somewhere else, or attempt to be kind. Remember what your mama taught you:
” If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all!’ and another good one:
“What goes around comes around.”
Keep spreading meanness, and that is what you will be handed back. Why do it? Go for the happiness in life, why spread the ugly?

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Linda Sullivan August 4, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Absolutely adorable :) I also wanted to have two ever since I got married, and we’re blessed to have 2 healthy girls today :D

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