Third time’s the charm

by mssinglemama on July 3, 2010

We have an offer in on another house, our third.

John and I have looked at over 30 homes and have found each other, on more than one occasion, at the brink of pure frustration and exasperation – leading me to believe that home buying is up there with one of the most stressful experiences a couple endure. But if anything, if there is a bright side, this has been yet another incredibly valuable lesson in communication.

And now here we are, at the precipice again – hoping the sellers bite on our low ball offer (we can’t bear to pay more than the true value of the house). And besides, although stressful, buying your first home is nothing to rush.

If they don’t take us up, we’ll walk and leave behind all that seems perfect with this house to move on to the next.

The house, in case you are wondering, is close to perfect. There are stainless steel appliances in a kitchen I would probably need to be pried out of, skylights over the giant family room addition and an epic back yard with a high privacy fence. Hard to imagine living in such a sweet place, bursting with potential for a lifetime of new memories. All of this is sometimes, hard to imagine – even though it is happening right before my eyes.

Send us all of the positive energy you can. Maybe we can use our new leaf necklaces like some kind of Care Bear salute?

And don’t worry about my emotions.

If we don’t get this house, there will be another one. Seriously, after looking at over 30, spending entire mornings of my life watching episode after episode of My First Home, and countless precious hours surfing through we are more excited to just be done with this process than anything else. But patient still… steady as she goes.

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Ricci July 3, 2010 at 9:53 pm

Look at it this way(If you’re a religious person), things happen when you least expect it. When you aren’t looking, is when it will happen. There may be the house that is for you out there, and a higher power is testing your persistence. I know I just got done after a year long fight of custody and visits with the ex. I was mad at first it as taking so long, but as it dragged on, more things came into my favor, and I never gave up, that was when it was done, and I won. You will too. Remember, no one said life was easy…….lol


Kim July 3, 2010 at 10:03 pm

I hope this turns out to be the one for you, but you have a great attitude about it if it isn’t. I just had to comment because you said this ranks up there with one of the most stressful things a couple can endure. We are in the midst of the house-buying process right now and we have bought and sold several homes together over the years. I don’t want to scare you but the mortgage situation now is the worst, worst, worst I have ever seen it. If you think you are stressed now, just wait until you start doing all the formal paperwork. Choose your mortgage company carefully. We picked the wrong one. We are frustrated, angry, exhausted and whatever other adjective you can think of. Problem after problem has arisen, 95% of which are because of the mortgage company. Although they should ask you for everything they need up front, they will likely be hounding you day after day right up until closing until you are ready to scream. It has been a full-time job for me complying with their demands and making a zillion phone calls to get things taken care of. And we are not a poor risk – we have credit scores over 800, we’re putting down almost 40% and we are still being harassed to death. Be mentally prepared, then if it all goes smoothly, so much the better, but you’ll be ready if it doesn’t. Email me if you want to know which mortgage company NOT to go with. Good luck, I wish you all the best.


The Dumbest Smart Girl You Know July 3, 2010 at 10:07 pm

I have goosebumps at the thought of standing on such a precipice. Single Mama Stare, lady! You’re in my thoughts 🙂


Robin July 3, 2010 at 10:15 pm

I just think it’s crazy that you are looking at houses … and with a man … The thoughts and emotions of that alone would be knocking my socks off, if I were you! SO CONGRATS … regardless if house number 30 is the lucky third time is the charm winning offer … because life is really blossoming for you. (and I’m kinda crazy jealous, but as you said “but patient still … steady as she goes.”)


Gitte Gorzelak July 4, 2010 at 2:01 am

I hope this is the one! But in any event, I am sure you will find the house of your dreams at some point:-) I’m so happy for you.


Cheryl July 4, 2010 at 6:19 pm

I’ve bought/owned 3 houses in my short 43 years (heh heh)… and EACH TIME it was a pain in the arse, long, drawn out, and stressful process. I thank G-d that I didn’t have to make a single one of those purchases WITH someone else (i.e. a husband or boyfriend) b/c there are just too many variables to agree upon. That said, I’m THRILLED for you guys!!

And btw, my current house? The one I found/bought in Oct 2008 here in Seattle, then took a year gutting and remodeling, the one I’ll have to be carried out of in a pine box b/c I’m never ever leaving I love it so? Yeah… It took TWO YEARS and looking at and/or walking through literally 100’s homes, I even made two offers on other houses (that I didn’t love as much as this one, but made an offer b/c I was tired of looking)… I’d say that you’re right where you should be. It’ll happen sweet girl. It will. And when it does, it’ll be the Right House for you and your family.

All the best, crossing my fingers and toes for you on this one.

Cher (aka @Jasperblu)


charity July 12, 2010 at 1:22 am

I envy your stress, i’d kill for such exasperation and frustration and other words ending in -tion! Revel in the joy of being blessed with such a tedious experience, for it is the tedious things that we look back on and smile over.

Wherever you end up, you will land on your feet, certain and secure in your own sense of balance, regardless of the hand john would surely offer you!

When you roll your eyes and heave a deep, dramatic sigh at the irritation of just moving in already, allow yourself a moment to borrow some of the patience those of us who are living alone or with parents are gladly donating to your house-hunting cause.

I once felt so angry that you were so happy and satisfied. Now I just feel like lending you a moment of peace and patience, because I am rooting for you to find your home, dreamy or just liveable, and be eternally thankful for your blessing.

I’d kill for this experience, the stress of househunting, the regret for the death of my credit.

I hope you get your home soon!


the single guy July 24, 2010 at 3:59 pm

So update us. Did you get the house? I’m in my second house now and refied once. The whole process is stressful for sure, but as long as you have a good realtor and loan officer who is on top of things for you things can go smooth


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