One Year

by mssinglemama on April 28, 2010

One year ago today…

When I got dressed that morning I thought about him.

What should I wear? Something that doesn’t look like I’m trying and something that will still look cute at 5:45 when I leave work. It didn’t take long for me to decide on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a cute blazer with some heels. I had plans for a networking dinner after work with a guy I’d met during a presentation I was giving a week earlier. He worked at another agency in town and also had a passion for search and social media. But, already I could tell, we were complete opposites.

If I were a jalapeno, he’d be an orange. Me, the a fire cracker with no poker face and an opinion for everything. John, the calm, cool guy at the party everyone instantly likes.

“So, I’m having this networking thing with a guy tonight,” I told Alison, my trusted co-worker and best friend. I was leaning over into her cubie so no one would catch us stealing our secrets on the company’s dime. Big Brother could kiss our dating asses.

“Yeah, and?”

“Well, I think he likes me but, I don’t know – he may be too nice. But he’s cute, refreshing, sweet.”

“You sound like you’re about to go out on a date not a networking thing.”

“But it’s not a date.”

“Whatever.”

Five hours later I was rushing out of the office so I wouldn’t be late for my non-date or maybe a date.

When I walked in he was sitting near the back wall of the restaurant.

“On time. Nice,” I thought. “But what is he wearing? A hoodie? Nooooo. With no zipper? Not even a zipper?”

I decided immediately that any guy who wore a hoodie to meet a woman was clearly uninterested in dating said woman.

I ignored the hoodie and we dove into work stuff; but then I started flirting with him, bringing personal into the conversation and then came the inevitable “are you single or not?” conversation. I found out he was indeed single and then dove into my “I love being single” mantra, which was entirely true.

“So you really don’t mind being single?” he asked me.

“Nope. If I never end up married, I’d be fine with that.”

“Oh, come on. Are you saying you’re against love?”

“No. If it happens… it happens.”

And that’s when his eyes, those beautiful sea blue eyes, lit up with a smile.

“But there’s a fat chance,” I added, guarded, “I eat skeptical for breakfast.”

Another smile and then a shake of the head.

“I don’t believe you,” he said.

And that was that. He had me in that moment and has ever since.

——–

We have definitely had our bumps.

Some bigger than others.

Many of which I can’t detail here. Not yet anyway.

Not until our foundation is firmly planted into the ground and we’re ready to share for the sake of passing along our wisdom. Right now we’re still too raw from a lot of what this first year has dealt us. Fate threw that innocent little couple in the wine shop some major curve balls.

But we have survived, living to tell this tale – one that feels more filled with romance and love now than it ever has. I just keep falling more and more in love with my Mr. John Bear.

Purely and simply.

Just know that what you read here on this blog just scratches the surface of our relationship.

There are intricacies, details, missing links. The real stuff. The stuff that hurts but that also binds, that has led us to each other, rather than apart. What you do need to know is this – a relationship’s challenges should bring you closer together.

And sometimes you need to let go of your love, to re-balance, to bring everything back to center. Oh, and one more thing I have learned recently – trust, true trust, is only inhibited by fear. If you are hurt, if it doesn’t work out – you will be there to catch yourself.

If it happens… let it happen (with or without all of the answers).

You’ll be okay.

—–

And because it’s our one year anniversary – our first YouTube video. ;  )

Related posts:

  1. The Rebound Year
  2. One Year Later: Mia’s Story
  3. The Single Mama Stud of the Year award goes too…
  4. New Year New Leaf Contest
  5. E-Harmony Really Does Suck: Worst web site of the year by Time Magazine

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Karissa April 28, 2010 at 3:50 pm

Happy anniversary!

My sweetheart informed me last weekend that we too had reached the one-year mark. I said, “who’s counting?” but secretly I was thrilled he remembered :)

Do you have any special plans? We kept it low-key and went for a sushi dinner – a complete opposite to last year when we had beer for lunch and dinner and a late-night slice of pizza.

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Cheryl April 28, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Oh Alaina, I’m SO freakin’ stoked for you both I can’t stand it. As I’m recently begun to learn, dating as a single mom is HARD, and WEIRD, and SCARY as hell. But dammit, you give me some serious hope. So thanks mama! And thanks for taking us along for this ride. XOXOXO’s, @Jasperblu

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SaucyB April 28, 2010 at 6:36 pm

Congratulations! My best friend is a single mom as well, so I’m intimately aware of the triumphs and challenges that go along with it. Hope you have a wonderful evening with your John bear

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Canadian Bald Guy April 28, 2010 at 6:46 pm

Happy anniversary, Alaina! That’s awesome. Very happy to see you two happy.

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arscuore April 28, 2010 at 8:13 pm

And one year ago, I was simultaneously happy for you and a little jealous. Now I see what all the fuss was/is about. It’ll be four months on Saturday for us!! Congrats to you both!

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singlemama_cc April 28, 2010 at 8:40 pm

Happy anniversary you two!! Thank you for sharing this with us…it’s been so wonderful to watch this unfold….you guys are awesome~

XOXO

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Jen @ follow my bliss April 29, 2010 at 12:33 am

Happy Anniversary!! I’ve loved watching you two – from however afar – fall in love. He’s a keeper.

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christine April 29, 2010 at 12:47 am

oh wow, i cannot believe it has already been a year! congratulations!

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Lindsay April 29, 2010 at 1:01 am

I’m ashamed to say that statue is like twenty minutes from my house. My state has problems.

Congrats on making it to one year, and here’s to many, many more!
(Look at Benjamin, how big! He’ll be a pro in no time flat.)

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Melissa April 29, 2010 at 11:20 am

happy anniversary! I can not believe its been 1 year for you guys.

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littlemansmom April 29, 2010 at 11:31 am

A very happy first anniversary to you! :) I hope the next year together is as exciting and adventurous as the first.

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Laura April 30, 2010 at 2:49 am

you said something about how it is the challenges that should bring you closer….

you are right

and I think you have just opened my eyes to something huge…

thanks

great, great blog…

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Nakia May 3, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Happy Anniversary!

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lauree May 5, 2010 at 2:08 am

it never happens for me ive been without anything of real substance for 5 years i curse my life everyday and sometimes aloud to my very own children i give up..

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Charlotte May 8, 2010 at 4:57 pm

First time visiting and I’m so happy to have stopped in :)

I’m not a single mother but wanted to tell you how incredibly inspiring it is to hear your tale and to see that you are currently in such a great place. I wish you the best of luck going forward and am thrilled there is a light at the end of the tunnel (that much I am intimately familiar with).

Happy anniversary and many, many more :)

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Tatyana May 12, 2010 at 3:32 pm

Aaaaawwww that youtube video is soooo cute. Reminds me so much of what I’m experiencing with my snuggle bear. We’ve been dating since Nov. 09′ & for the most part it has been long distance. There was not one day that we didn’t miss texting, voice chatting, webcamming or calling each other. About a lil over a month ago, I decided what the hey! i’m gonna dive in & see what happens. So I moved. He’s still about a 2 hr. commute away, but its been simply AMAZING. He’s WONDERFUL with my girls & I’m so looking forward to sharing this journey with him. Happy Anniversary! with many more to come I’m sure! ;-)

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