One year ago today…
When I got dressed that morning I thought about him.
What should I wear? Something that doesn’t look like I’m trying and something that will still look cute at 5:45 when I leave work. It didn’t take long for me to decide on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a cute blazer with some heels. I had plans for a networking dinner after work with a guy I’d met during a presentation I was giving a week earlier. He worked at another agency in town and also had a passion for search and social media. But, already I could tell, we were complete opposites.
If I were a jalapeno, he’d be an orange. Me, the a fire cracker with no poker face and an opinion for everything. John, the calm, cool guy at the party everyone instantly likes.
“So, I’m having this networking thing with a guy tonight,” I told Alison, my trusted co-worker and best friend. I was leaning over into her cubie so no one would catch us stealing our secrets on the company’s dime. Big Brother could kiss our dating asses.
“Well, I think he likes me but, I don’t know – he may be too nice. But he’s cute, refreshing, sweet.”
“You sound like you’re about to go out on a date not a networking thing.”
“But it’s not a date.”
Five hours later I was rushing out of the office so I wouldn’t be late for my non-date or maybe a date.
When I walked in he was sitting near the back wall of the restaurant.
“On time. Nice,” I thought. “But what is he wearing? A hoodie? Nooooo. With no zipper? Not even a zipper?”
I decided immediately that any guy who wore a hoodie to meet a woman was clearly uninterested in dating said woman.
I ignored the hoodie and we dove into work stuff; but then I started flirting with him, bringing personal into the conversation and then came the inevitable “are you single or not?” conversation. I found out he was indeed single and then dove into my “I love being single” mantra, which was entirely true.
“So you really don’t mind being single?” he asked me.
“Nope. If I never end up married, I’d be fine with that.”
“Oh, come on. Are you saying you’re against love?”
“No. If it happens… it happens.”
And that’s when his eyes, those beautiful sea blue eyes, lit up with a smile.
“But there’s a fat chance,” I added, guarded, “I eat skeptical for breakfast.”
Another smile and then a shake of the head.
“I don’t believe you,” he said.
And that was that. He had me in that moment and has ever since.
We have definitely had our bumps.
Some bigger than others.
Many of which I can’t detail here. Not yet anyway.
Not until our foundation is firmly planted into the ground and we’re ready to share for the sake of passing along our wisdom. Right now we’re still too raw from a lot of what this first year has dealt us. Fate threw that innocent little couple in the wine shop some major curve balls.
But we have survived, living to tell this tale – one that feels more filled with romance and love now than it ever has. I just keep falling more and more in love with my Mr. John Bear.
Purely and simply.
Just know that what you read here on this blog just scratches the surface of our relationship.
There are intricacies, details, missing links. The real stuff. The stuff that hurts but that also binds, that has led us to each other, rather than apart. What you do need to know is this – a relationship’s challenges should bring you closer together.
And sometimes you need to let go of your love, to re-balance, to bring everything back to center. Oh, and one more thing I have learned recently – trust, true trust, is only inhibited by fear. If you are hurt, if it doesn’t work out – you will be there to catch yourself.
If it happens… let it happen (with or without all of the answers).
You’ll be okay.
And because it’s our one year anniversary – our first YouTube video. ; )