If I do it again

by mssinglemama on March 30, 2010

If I do get married again… IF, I said. IF. Don’t get all crazy on me now. If, I say I do again things will be ultra low key. I can’t rationalize spending a gazillion dollars on a wedding, I would rather use the money for a down payment on a house or paying off our debt, not accumulating more.

So… something like this wedding invitation may be just what the social media fanatic and budget savvy bride orders. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the wave of the future, the newest kid on the block – the YouTube wedding invitation.

Absolutely brilliant.

If you ever get married again, what would you do differently? And this one is for the happily married of you as well – to anyone who has already been married once, if you could do it all over again…

[This video's soundtrack is to Vampire Weekend, not sure which song].

Related posts:

  1. Mizrahi’s “blog”, a pregnant man and my crush on Handy Manny.
  2. The Sex in the City Trailer! OMG!!!!! (I’m a dork)
  3. Single Moms & Dating (the video)
  4. On Weddings
  5. The Married Single Mom

{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

corrin March 30, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Is “don’t say I do” an option? Cause…yeah…I probably wouldn’t.

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singlemama_cc March 30, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Oh my my my….IF i were to lift the NO MARRIAGE ban…IF….I sure as shit would do it differently! I’d like LOVE to be involved,,,just an idea;)

XOXO

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Kelly March 31, 2010 at 12:05 am

Love the video. I can’t even imagine the time and energy it takes to make something like that.
As for getting married again- I haven’t ruled it out, but it will definitely be smaller than the 250 person extravaganza I did last time. I’m good with a private ceremony and then just let everyone come and party together. NO gifts PLEASE- I have enough stuff in my house and if the person I ever get together with has stuff too- we’ll be cutting it down, not needing more. If people insist on something (as many would do) gifts to either their favorite charity or mine (ours?) would be appreciated. (I thought this through once cause I was very close- ended it before I ended back up in the same situation I got out of the first time…)

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mommybella March 31, 2010 at 12:19 am

it would be very low key. Nothing big or fancy. Just family and close people. But I probably won’t be saying i do again!

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quirkygirlx3 March 31, 2010 at 1:23 am

I’m the opposite. I did small and lowkey with my first wedding. NOT. ONE. SINGLE. THING. about the entire bit even looked like I had anything to do with it. I’ll do the big wedding thing the second time around. I want the start of of our ever-after to look, sound, and taste just like us. A hell of a good time. Something to be celebrated. And in my head, it’s all set to the song of Van Morrison’s Some One Like You. Just because it says it all.

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Katie March 31, 2010 at 6:32 am

I LOVED my wedding – between EVERY single part of it, (rehearsal dinner, dress, reception), we spent $2000 – only our nearest and dearest attended, and it was potluck style. THought it was going to be tacky…turned out to be AMAZING! Way better food than what we could have afforded to cater. It was a perfect day – and we never look back and think, “What a waste of money!” like I hear so many people who have big weddings say.

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Jen March 31, 2010 at 7:23 am

Vegas baby! That is what I did the second time around. Low cost and high fun. :)

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Rachel March 31, 2010 at 8:03 am

Small and intimate somewhere (justice of the peace would be perfect).. honeymoon for a few days with my daughter in Disney World, give her to her grandparents while we had a few days on the beach.. party with family and friends once we got back.. I had a dream recently where I had a church wedding and people kept saying “well the last time you did ….” I won’t have anything that gives anyone the chance to say that! :-)

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Anonymous March 31, 2010 at 8:32 am

I am a single mom whose husband left her for another woman. My ex recently got remarried to that same woman (who was also cheating on her spouse). I saw a wedding picture and couldn’t believe they had a full on wedding with a white dress and professional pictures. We haven’t even been divorced for 2 years. I don’t get it! IF I did it again, I would do a small church ceremony and have a very low key and intimate reception.

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ali March 31, 2010 at 9:45 am

haven’t had a wedding but have no desire whatsoever to have a fancy schmancy affair after attending and participating and spending wads of cash to participate in approximately 1057 of them throughout the past 20 years or so…many times seconds or sometimes even thirds. but i digress….i wanted to say HELL YEAH, to the invite, i LOVE LOVE LOVE IT, and I also loved the video you posted yesterday…please keep sharing this stuff…it’s fun!

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mom23inmd March 31, 2010 at 9:56 am

I AM doing it again … to a man I have known for 21 years … tentatively scheduled for this October … and it will be ultra-small … as in, just us and the 5 kids we have between us, somewhere intimate. We will set up tents and have a party in our backyard afterwards for the family and friends who would like to celebrate our togetherness. We will also insist on no gifts … we are already trying to decide what stays and what goes as we combine our houses.

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Jamie March 31, 2010 at 11:11 am

I am a single parent but have never been married. I definitely want to feel beautiful and special when (if) I ever get married but can’t see spending as much as a lot of couples do.

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Autumn March 31, 2010 at 11:14 am

Love this wedding invite – great find! IF you ever made that jump, I am nothing but positive you would find a creative & perfect way to declare your commitment. No pressure, but I’m staying tuned either way! ;-)

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arscuore March 31, 2010 at 4:41 pm

For a long time after my divorce, I said, “No way in hell am I doing that again!” and then I found my BF. Still not sure, but I’ve been allowing myself thoughts of a very small wedding on the beach (the BF’s a surfer, and my parents live near the beach), with my parents, my son, a few friends, and then a big meal at a local restaurant/bar. No gifts, no cake, no dress. Just the people that really matter celebrating us the way we really are.

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Krista March 31, 2010 at 8:00 pm

When I decided to re-marry the *right* guy, we headed to the county court house on 09.09.09 with just our closest friends and family without our kiddos as they were all in school. That following Saturday, we had a mock ceremony with the kids and made a big deal out of it all especially for them – the sand ceremony, the flower girl thing, dinner, twinkle lights. We ended up with about 25 people in my mom’s beautiful backyard garden and had a BBQ for under $500.00 when all was said and done. That day meant more to me than all of the hoopla the first time around. He wore his traditional Chinese silk shirt and I had a killer strapless sundress from White House Black Market. The boys wore Chuck Taylors and my sweet step-daughter wore flowers in her hair. We brought the huge dog and ate pulled pork. It was perfect.

Love can happen again after the ugly nightmare of abuse and the cycle of healing. I found that I was MUCH more cautious this time as there were now children involved. I needed to make the right choice this time. Funny – I wrote about this just yesterday.

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hef March 31, 2010 at 8:48 pm

I’m getting married in less than two weeks. To my three-year-old’s father. After being a single mom for the better part of two years (back together with baby daddy for one). Crazy story, no doubt, but somehow we’re here- happy, functioning, TOGETHER, and getting freaking married, omg.

The three of us are running away to an adorable bed and breakfast in the mountains to get married in a gazebo that rests between a butterfly garden and an organic produce garden. A married couple own the place- the Mr will perform the ceremony and Mrs will act as photographer/witness. We’ll have a party back home in a month to celebrate with friends and family. Totally low-key. Totally us. Totally thrilled.

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Andrea April 1, 2010 at 1:10 pm

I hope to get married again someday. I’m good on my own, but life can definitely be sweeter if you are sharing it with a best friend! I think the wedding will depend on who I marry and their situation. Right now I see a simple ceremony with 20-40 of our closest friends and family in an arboretum or park or something, followed by a bbq.

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Amy April 2, 2010 at 10:44 pm

I would not change a thing. We were young, neither of our families pressuring us for a big wedding, no kids. We eloped to Hawaii almost 18 years ago. I wore a simple but gorgeous dress, had beautiful bouquet and flowers. Hubby in his Fire Fighter official dress, very handsome! No stress, no fuss.

Married on a beach and had dinner in a fabulous hotel. Came home with wedding video and pics and had a small party at a hotel in our hometown. Perfect.

Funny you should ask this as somehow I ended up on a The Little White Chapel in Vegas and am thinking about renewing our vows on our 20th. Would involve our kids of course and any family member, close friend that wanted to make the journey!

Are we thinking weddings in your parts? ;)

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Winecountrymom April 3, 2010 at 12:08 pm

I had a small wedding the first time. Except for the groom, the day was perfect. It cost less than $2,000, and family and friends chipped in with food, flowers, the cake, and photography. I don’t regret a thing (not including the groom…). I did, however, muse about having a bigger wedding the 2nd time around. But then I met the love of my life. And I realized that more important than the ceremony was spending the rest of my life with him. Neither one of is rushing the inevitable plunge into married life. But when we do tie the knot, my visions are now of a simple, intimate ceremony with our closest family and friends, not something blown out of the water that takes months to a year of planning and stress. Our relationship is easy. I want the ceremony to reflect the simplicity and ease of our love, and also to not be a financial burden that haunts us years later.

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Allison in the MN April 5, 2010 at 3:53 pm

I did get married again. It is possible!! Initially I had the romantic idea of it just being the two of us & I really didn’t care where we were. I knew this time that I was getting married for all of the right reasons & I didn’t need the fluff… Then I woke up & realized that he has a son & I have two children & we really need to involve the children. I really didn’t forget about them I just had a ten minute fantasy of what we could have done. I bought my dress (not a wedding dress!) at a discount store along with my shoes. The kids & my husband were all dressed casual. We had a tiny wedding with about 20 family members present on a Friday night & then on Saturday we had a party in our backyard complete with a bounce house, games, mini donuts & a keg(s). We sent out very simple invitaions on card stock & paid the post card rate for postage. It was so wonderful!!

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Laura April 9, 2010 at 10:17 am

elope. just the 3 of us… and our dog.

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Sara in Sunny SC April 16, 2010 at 11:02 am

What a wonderful question! My daughter’s dad (I never know what to call him, we’ve been separated for almost 3 months after an almost 9 year marriage that had way too many downs than ups… he “isn’t in love with me anymore” but hadn’t found the “time” to file any kind of paper legal paperwork b/c “its not high on his priority list”… maybe this is a whole ‘nother story!!!) and I initially did the JOP thing. We didn’t even tell our families until afterward, we were young and stupid and clueless. Two years later we had a “real” wedding, and what a fiasco! I don’t even want to know how much my parents spent on it, we did the country club thing, the white dress, the million guests, etc… all two weeks before we were moving to Spain on military orders. On top of it, I was a few months pregnant. Even then deep, deep down I knew that it was all wrong. My mom was psychotically cranky and tearful, I was grumpy and resentful, and my poor husband was clueless (he seems to live in a constant state of cluelessness, still!) Anyway, we “renewed our vows” in a country club because we didn’t want to deal with the religious mess between our two families, had a quartet, and a formal dinner afterward. So not who we were!!! All in all, I hated it! It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t enjoyable, I don’t have a single happy memory of that day. So, WHEN I do it over again (though its only been a few months, and there’s nothing legal yet… and I go between feeling like I’ll never be good enough for someone else and feeling like thank God I’m finally free!), it will be completely different! I want a SMALL ceremony on a sunny beach. A pastor MUST officiate it this time… I will get married in front of God this time, regardless of how others feel, its my wedding damn it! I don’t even know if I care about friends and family being there. My adorable daughter will have to be of course, because she’s just as much me as I am! But besides that, its got to be about me and him, forget everyone else’s expectations and “needs”. That’s my plan for now at least… almost 3 months separated and a newly minted single mom!

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Ms. Single Mama April 17, 2010 at 8:34 am

Finally had a moment to read all of these. AWESOME. Thank you for sharing… my head is spinning with cute wedding ideas. Hmmm…. maybe some day, right?

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