Comments on: Working Girl

By: Katie Sallee

Katie Sallee — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 23:53:37 +0000

My struggle is this..everyone says your kids are only kids once and so so so true! But, while my child is a child is still have to provide for
him. His father doesn’t pay child support and is actually presently incarcerated for this but I don’t think this will make him pay or even help me with him. I have recently gotten a full time job with benefits (yeah me!) but have had to take one off during the probationary period due to his sickness and the enormous amount of paperwork I have had to collect to get him in school, and court to pursue his father for non-payment. So much that it is already jeopardizing my job and I have been told he needs me here all day and every day. Hint, hint! So, I won’t be seeing him get on the school bus for the first
time on Monday, I have cancelled my eye doctor appt. and my kidney stones doctor appt. that I had upcoming. I have found a dentist to do Saturday appointments and my father is taking my son to his dentist appt. But, how can I manage this forever? Not going to the doctor. Not doing anything during the day to interfere with my job. I had to go to my son’s school conference that the school required and that was a big deal! What is someone to do when someone has to be the responsible parent and do EVERYTHING to the extent that I cancelled my own doctor’s appts. so that I won’t miss work? I can’t even really look for a new job because how can I go on interviews when I only have an hour lunch and it is to be taken strictly from 12 to 2? I just don’t know what to do. My boss said that it does make him question my employment if my son gets sick on a Wednesday and I not at work (Wed. is our busiest day). So basically he is saying there is more risk with me as an employee and it makes him question agreeing to employ me. I don’t know what to do. I told him I have no choice. I have to keep the balls rolling and I have to keep myself employed. What choice do I have? If I keel over at work due to my kidney stones, maybe then I can go get treatment I suppose. Any suggestions?

By: Heather

Heather — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 07:47:30 +0000

I was single and childless for many years and now am a single mama—-all I can say to you is you don’t know what you don’t know

By: Kmart Design

Kmart Design — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 20:28:44 +0000

Hope that life has calmed down for you a bit now that the holidays are behind us. Know that you are not alone – one of our favorite designers is a single mom herself – http://ow.ly/VL4W

By: the251

the251 — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:21:55 +0000

I don’t allow my life to be led or defined by others and more importantly those without children. Successful single parenting to me means living life according to what I think is important. I don’t even try and compete and to be honest I wouldn’t want to because my priorities are different.
I devote 100% of my effort to work whilst I’m at work but that’s it. I’m not a blackberry fiddler. When I’m not at work I’m with my daughter, period. Without a degree or any behaviour akin to ‘presenteeism’ I’ve achieved a decent well paid role where I can stick to my hours. My experience has been that if you get your head down and work like a trojan whilst you’re in the office, delivering high quality work to time, you achieve far more respect than those without children who often seem to be at their desks but doing very little.
I don’t participate in as much of the idle chatter as they do. I don’t have the extended lunches or attend the post work soirees. But it pays huge dividends in other ways. Perhaps at the route is absolute, complete focus and discpline around the use of your time. That’s what enables me to not feel like life is running away with me. We blog, therefore we are slowing down to notice!

By: superjen

superjen — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 09:36:53 +0000

I have been very inspired while reading all of your comments here. I’ve been a single mom of two for the past 10 yrs.. have worked full time thru all of it. The guilt and torn emotions are something that I have now embraced and throw out.. how many kids talent shows and sports days have I missed for work?
I do believe that my most important job in this world is raising my children to become productive citizens in life, to give them a good example and to embrace every second of time that they are with me.
The job, well, it’s high powered but really.. to me, it’s just a means to an end… money to support the kids. I don’t try to compete in the corporate world anymore because I know my limits and priorities.
The children’s father has become over time, absent to the point that he is basically non-existant… I really do feel like a mother and a father. I am never locked into just one role. I have to be strong, strong enough to carry this family and be the rock.
Sometimes I long to have a rock to carry me, but I am a realist.. it’s not happening, I’m all I’ve got. I want to give all of you beautiful single hard working mama’s out there who have their laundry piled high, schedules out of whack, dark circles under your eyes and 10 minutes of time a day to yourselves,,, this will not last, so just enjoy the youth of your children and be the best example you can be for them. Show them strength and let them see your tears,,, but always come from the heart.
Take heart mamas… you are the heroes raising the next generation,,, and THAT is the MOST important job of all!!!

By: April

April — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 05:36:17 +0000

You are not alone. It is hard for all working moms to find the time to spend with your kids, do the things you need to do, and never have time for the things you want to do. I have been a single mom of 3 since 2000. My kids are all now teenageers,which is really stressful, and I work full time and attend college part time. So needless to say, I know what you are feeling. Misery does NOT love company in this departments and I wish I had some advice for you, other than – hang in there. The upside for your situation is you got your education beforehand, and you have support on your side. As crazy as your life is, I admire and envy you. I don’t have any support at all, my family all live 1100 miles away, I live in a college town so it has been extremelly difficult finding others “like me” out there. I know there are other single moms in the area, but they are hidden. They are probably just trying to make it through the day with little time to reach out for support and guidance. It is a tough row to hoe, but we do it and that is what makes us stronger. Unfortunately we can’t do it all – I wish we could. I remember a time when work required a lot of travel and I was completely stressed just trying to find someone to help with the kids so I could work and support them – thank goodness the travel has stopped. Imagine being 1.5 hours away (air time) and getting a call from the local fire department telling you your kid has started a fire and facing felony charges – yep it happened – not fun – at all! This happened after school when the people I left in charge (a military family) hadn’t got home from work yet and the little amount of time they were unsupervised (2 hours after school) they already got in trouble. Talk about stress! We all lived through it, after all of us attending a fire safety class and several “lectures” later – all this for burning a couple of twigs outside our townhouse by a couple of bored teenagers with 2 hours on their hands. Yes, it is an extreme single parent moment while trying to make a living, but one none of us will ever forget. I haven’t dared asking them to keep the kids since then. Be thankful and be grateful, while remembering it could be worse!

By: linda

linda — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 03:56:28 +0000

Your post sooo hit home. Im trying to take tonite to veg a bit and get my mind back. I have just gotten over a terrible bout with swine flu that has totally taken its toll on me mentally and physically.I had to use all of my sick and personal days that I JUST got this new year to try to recover. I am a single mom of four wit ha full time very demanding job..its hard, it sucks.I feel guilty 99 % of the time . I feel like I havent spent enought ime with my kids individually, havent watched my daughter cheer all season, havent just sat and played in months etc. I am so fortunate to have awesome kids but dont have a scheduled plan wih their dad who also works a ton.So there are no “every other weekeds” type of things for me. I am also trying to balance a new relationship with a wonderful man but its very hard .As I sit here it looks like Christmas threw up in my dining room, I have a tree half undecorated, laundry in every imaginable place and three unmade beds. I used to be the most anal person about my house, I ironed pillowcases for Gods sake.So it has been so hard to let things go. I also am trying to find another house to move to in the next three weeks to no avail, and havent had enough time to put into actively looking due to my busy schedule at work and being so sick. I hate to complain but I needed to vent I suppose and share my situation.I guess maybe to make those of you that are in my same boat see you ARE NOT ALONE !! It is rough out here, even with a college ed., great kids, a great ex, a wonderful new man and a decent income…its hard.But I know Im not alone, and sometimes just knowing that makes me feel a wee bit better !!

By: 30somethingmama

30somethingmama — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 03:42:54 +0000

Oh yes talk about freelance life as a single mom. It’s a risk but if give us free time with our children. Unlike the mainstream advertising agency, which ia as you all know competitive and overtime-ridden, where i used to wake up earlier before I see my then 3yo daughter awake and then i come home at 12MN where i see her sleeping again. It’s too excruciating i tell you. And i began to ask myself, is the work worth missing my beautiful baby’s little moments? So I just quit after a spat with my unappreciative boss.

A mother’s career is so totally different when there’s no partner around to support you. And yes companies should offer benefits for single moms.

Goodluck Alana. We always find a way around every dillemma, right? We’re super moms!

By: mssinglemama

mssinglemama — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 01:04:04 +0000

I think that’s what we all want. The rewards now are seeing Benjamin in the early stages of learning to read. And growing so big and strong. The rewards are there.

I think this is a very ,very tough time for everyone given the economy and the limited selections of jobs. It gives mothers even less options. We just have to keep on plowing through though, and learn how to manage our stress.

By: Robin

Robin — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 21:12:34 +0000

Things do not change much as our kids get older – it just gets more complicated. You in time will add soccer practice, music lessons, homework, curfew worry, or whatever. Then you wake up one day, and you are buying a car instead of Big Wheel, paying for college instead of babysitters. And then, your mom or dad can’t remember their name or if they ate their dinner. It is at that point you prioritize what to worry or bitch about. The rewards are simple. You get well adjusted young adults. You get to watch them go to prom, watch their sporting events, experience their first date, advise them (although they probably won’t listen), laugh with them, cry with them, go to graduation, plan the party, and the list goes on and on. Those are the rewards. They are simple but worth every stress we endure as parents. So mamas, don’t lose sight over the reward in the end. It was well worth it.