Working Girl

by mssinglemama on January 6, 2010

I am not sure working like this is entirely healthy for anyone, let alone a single mom. My back and shoulders are a tight, tangled mess of nerves and poor posture induced kinks. My face keeps breaking out and my bedroom is constantly messy, always a sign of being too busy to breathe.


I need to buy one of those jacuzzi tubs or enslave a personal massage therapist. Between work, the house and Benjamin I rarely find a moment to myself – in the peace and quiet of the nothing to do.

How can us professional parents keep up with the childless who can devote 100% of their energy to their work? And isn’t there something wrong with this picture? Overworked workers, unemployment lines growing, parents who are left with no time to raise their children and young people who know having a child would spell disaster for their career.

Are we all just being taken for a ride? A ride that ends at the last and final stop when we wake up (too late) to realize we have worked our lives away. Shouldn’t we all slow down a bit? Seems like we’re all getting a bit carried away. Or maybe it has always been like this and I am just the mother of a three year old lost in the Land of the Toddler standing her gaping at the Land of Employment During a Recession.

The future scares me (just a little bit). Nothing to panic about.

It’s my neurotic paranoia setting in as the months fly by and I wonder when they will turn into years flying by. The end. I hate thinking about the end and I don’t want it to get here (not yet).

Not like this.

Life has to slow down first so I can enjoy the moments, or at, the very least, take a damn bath. One year ago I wrote this post for WeTV asking the real mothers to please stand up and I explored Gloria Steinem’s thought that the women’s rights movement isn’t over – that true success is not doing it all. I wondered out loud how we mothers could be held up to such impossible standards:

The pressure of motherhood in today’s world, if you think about it, is unbelievable — and it comes at us from every direction, every day, in every hour and in every minute. If we’re doing one thing, we’re often thinking about another. If we’re working, we wish we could be home with the kids. If we’re staying at home, we wonder what it would be like to have that career. But while raising a human is arguably the most important job on this planet, there are no exceptional clauses to protect mothers in the work place….

Today with the advent of blogs and all other forms of online communication, millions of moms are rewriting the definition of success by telling their own stories – re-writing the definition of success one word at a time. The real stories from the trenches of motherhood have emerged.

As a result, advertisers, politicians, employers and the media are no longer telling us how to think, or what we should feel but asking us for a seat at the table. As for whether or not it will work, we’ll see but at least it’s a start.

If you’re like me (crazed about making it work with so little time and searching for clarity) read Seth Godin’s free and new eBook, What Matters Now. Absolutely awesome. I read a new page every morning, savoring them before they run out.

What are your thoughts? Do you think the US should follow suit of European countries, like Germany, and give mothers many more freedoms to stay home with their little ones if they choose? Should we take a step back and demand mothers’ rights in the workplace?

Personally, I have an exceptional job and am treated very well at work – but the hours are naturally demanding and I have to keep up with people who don’t have children, so that’s tough personally because as much as I would like to slow down, I want to do it all. I want to be everything to everyone.

I am not unhappy or depressed. The rushed feeling is just killing me. Share your thoughts. Really curious about what you all think.


The above is why it has taken me so long to announce the winner to my New Year New Leaf contest.

It was a tough call but I thought her post nailed the mission.

Each and every one of you who entered should have received your free copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored by now. If you haven’t, e-mail me and I’ll get you one right away.

You all inspire me beyond belief. Every single day. You tell me I inspire you, but – believe me – it’s the other way around.

Related posts:

  1. What’s a single working mama to do?
  2. The test for any single working mother: the morning wake up.
  3. Can this city girl handle the burbs?
  4. I’m not crazy
  5. How do you work it?

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