A little mystery.

by mssinglemama on December 1, 2009

This is my cat.

gray cat

Her name is Lily.

When she does come in the house, if we’re lucky enough to catch her, she takes off into the basement and hides there for days – sleeping, eating, sleeping and eating. Eventually she comes out of hiding and meows her way back outside. Her meow is incredibly annoying and she uses it to her advantage.

Then we go days, sometimes weeks, without seeing her. Reggie is tagging along, too. He’s my other cat and he’s a total jerk. He peed in my bed once, just let it all out – right in my pillow area. I had to buy a new mattress. Ever since I’ve had a hard time trusting him. When he’s in the house I’m all paranoid, I shut my bedroom door and if I see him I tell him that he “must have serious issues” to go and do “something that disgusting.”

Both Reggie and Lily used to drive me crazy on a daily basis but then this guy showed up.

wheaton terrier

As soon as Murphy made his debut along with his owner, Mr. John Bear, the cats began their run and hide, meow their way out pattern. At first I was a bit worried. But then I realized that my cats had found someone else. The evidence? Their steadily growing bellies.

“Some sucker neighbor person is feeding them,” I told John.

“What in the hell? Seriously? But I see them out there – near the house, all of the time.”

“Then it must be someone close, someone who knows they’re my cats.”

I wondered who it could be for months – feeling like their eyes were on me every time I came and went, thinking they must be thinking there goes the lady who can’t take care of her own cats. But then I realized that the cats were playing both of us, coming into the house that was open, at the most convenient time. Suckers. Stupid humans with their stupid dogs.

Recently, thanks to the cold weather and a dose of guilt, John Bear has been trying to herd the cats into the house at night. I try to explain to him that their fat and fur will keep them well insulated.

“And if they want to come in,” I say, “they’ll be meowing like crazy at our door.” But John is a dog person and dog people are easily fooled by cats. So he spends a lot of his time outside calling for them, hunting them down.

Here’s a picture of John Bear on one such cat hunt.

cat hunt

I took it through my front door’s little square window. There was no way I was going outside into the freezing snow to hunt for my cats. Decided to let the dog person sucker go instead.

A few days later, on a warmer afternoon, John, Benjamin and I were all outside playing when we spotted Reggie. Crouched by one of my neighbor’s front doors he was avoiding us entirely. Pretending like we didn’t exist. After seven years of feeding him and cleaning his litter box, this was what I got. A cat who would trade me for a dog-less home and wet food.

And then the door opened and Reggie dashed down into my neighbor’s basement just as I was reaching for him.

“Reggie!” I hollered.

And then I looked up and there she was. The mystery neighbor.

“He comes over,” she said, “is that okay? I just don’t want you to think I’m trying to steal your cat.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine - really.”

Sucker.

And damn, I raised some smart cats.

——

Some random notes.

I will be updating my photo gallery all week with new pictures. I’ve been so behind and am finding tons of pictures I should have uploaded months ago.

You also might like this fun TV interview I did (via Skype) for Still Up with Max and Jason on Current TV. Check it out and let me know what you think. Such a different pace than ours in little, old Ohio but it was fun. Felt like I was on MTV or something.

Related posts:

  1. House hunting and man hunting?
  2. He texted me again! WTF?
  3. My new dance partner

{ 1 trackback }

Total Betrayal
March 27, 2010 at 3:08 pm

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Random Esquire December 1, 2009 at 8:03 pm

I would be exactly like John Bear. This is because I don’t understand cats.

If you want a dog to come, you just have to have something it wants. Like a treat.

If you want a cat to come, you have to figure out if you should approach it or let it come to you or if you’ll spook it if you’re too forward, etc.

In fact, Dogs = Men, Cats = Women.

-R.

Reply

Katie December 1, 2009 at 8:39 pm

This is hilarious Alaina :) I beg to differ on the dog=men, cat=women scenario. I, and PLENTY of other women I know, are as clueless about cats as John Bear. Cats are from another planet…much like men. Dogs are idiots…lovable, drooling, hairy idiots…much like men too actually. HA!

Reply

Random Esquire December 1, 2009 at 8:46 pm

Katie – That made me laugh!

-R.

Reply

Kate December 1, 2009 at 9:12 pm

Hi!

I’m a fairly new reader to your blog. Not sure how I got here . . . that is the craziest cat story! I have 2 cats who sleep in my bed every night, snuggled up against me under the covers so I can’t imagine such independent creatures. I’m really writing because I grew up in Cleveland and notice John is from there as well. I now live in Seattle but wax nostalgically for the midwest. What part of town does his family live in? I was raised in University Hts and went to Cleveland Hts High back in the 80s. Do you guys ever go to Coventry? My favorite restaurant there is Tommy’s. Do you you know it? My mom now lives near Chargrin Falls which is a charming little area.

BTW, my cat Poppy will come if called. So, take that dog people!

Reply

terri December 1, 2009 at 10:35 pm

I am totally in line with the dogs=boys and cats=girls. In fact, that is exactly what I thought when I was little. Took me until like the fourth grade to figure out the real deal.

However, my cat is on my lap right now hanging on for dear life as I type away on the keyboard from a barstool. He isn’t so smart. Neither is he a girl.

;) t

Reply

Lauren December 2, 2009 at 7:21 am

Oh cats… we have two of them — one will rub up against you to be pet and then bite you a minute later and run away; the other will follow you around like a dog.

Reply

Amyinbc December 2, 2009 at 9:44 pm

When we first moved here some 11 years ago I took pity on the stray cat that always lied on our front porch. Felt sorry for the guy and would bring him sliced ham near nightly. Was all ready to adopt the handsome dude until I learned he lived next door and just had decided while our house was empty for sale to claim the front porch. Little bugger :)

Reply

Lori December 3, 2009 at 9:43 am

I am a neighborhood cats sucker. She started coming around last winter when it was frigid out. I started by feeding her. Then I made her a box on my front porch. Next I let her in and she claimed her blanket on the couch. She comes in and eats and sleeps for days and then leaves again. Only to return when she pleases. I felt like I was stealing someone elses cat too. But whoever owns Buddie, her name at my house, doesn’t seem to mind and neither do I.

Reply

Lori December 3, 2009 at 9:46 am

OH, and I had a cat I named Spot once. Before I ever knew her hobby would be playing fetch with a McDonalds happy meal stuffed mini dog. She’d do it for an hour at a time. Each time I threw it she’d fetch it, bring it back and drop it at my feet, and proceed to meow until I threw it again. When she’d get tired she’d take her dog and go lie down panting. I miss her.

Reply

Darcy December 3, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I am definitely a cat person, but like Lori, I had a cat who fetched (miss her like crazy).

My friend made an interesting observation once. While my son was at her house trying to catch the cats, she said to him, “If you want a cat to come to you, you need to ignore it. If you go after them, they will run away.” Then she turned to me and said, “Same thing goes for men.”

You know what? I think she’s right.

Reply

mssinglemama December 12, 2009 at 7:33 am

Definitely!

And my old cat Sabrina used to fetch – she was Reggie’s best friend. When she died it was probably one of the darkest times I’ve had a single mom. I wrote about it in Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: http://www.mssinglemama.com/ms-single-mama-uncensored.

Reply

Leave a Comment