A word, if I may, about bikini wearing waitresses and other things that drive women nuts.
If you are ever dating a guy and said guy walks into a bar with waitresses wearing bikinis, or a strip joint or a Hooter’s and then let’s say you get a bit upset by this. Perhaps your ex-husband had a bad habit of going to these seedy places or maybe you just think he should be doing something better with his time, like sleeping with you. Bottom line – you’re upset.
Let’s say you fly off the handle, albeit not in a Jerry Springer style way – nothing that would genuinely freak him out or make him fear for his life – but let’s say you’re upset and the two of you have just started seeing each other. And then the guy drops you after you have told him to drop off the face of the Earth.
Do you feel bad?
Do you blame yourself for freaking out?
Do you say, “You know what I am overreacting. He just went to a bar with half naked women for an hour. What’s the big deal?”
First of all, I’m not a fan of these places. Never have been, never will be. In fact, I always told my friends and even ex-boyfriends that I thought all of it was disgusting and that any “real man” would be busy with a “real woman.” Righteous and awful of me to be so judgmental, I know, but in the end I got what I wanted because I didn’t settle.
All of that aside… there is one question you should be asking yourself when something like the above dating scenario plays out.
“Why would I want to be with someone who would choose watching a waitress in a bikini over me? And why would I want to be with someone who wouldn’t at least put up a fight if I tried to push him away, a very natural thing to do if I’ve been hurt in the past. I am willing to lay it all down if he is.”
That is the thought that should be running through your mind.
Many men, I found in all of my years of dating, walk away very easily when you tell them to go. These are the men we pine after, perhaps wonder what we can do to get them back and these are the men we blame ourselves for freaking out on or for losing. But in more recent years I realized, thanks to having Benjamin, that any man who wouldn’t walk through hell to have me wasn’t worth having.
And if he can’t handle you telling him how you feel than you may as well re-marry your ex-husband.
Phew. Now that’s a thought.
Just a little pep talk as we enter yet another weekend filled with dates and some not-so-worthy men.
And don’t be so quick to blame yourself.