Comments on: The Trip Story: Part 3 http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/ Single Mom Dating, Love, and Life Advice Thu, 18 Mar 2010 20:59:34 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Haunted Bedford Pennsylvania http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12457 Haunted Bedford Pennsylvania Thu, 27 Aug 2009 23:31:03 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12457 [...] mssinglemama on August 27, 2009 Remember how I mentioned John Bear being a bit “creeped out” when we arrive at our bed and breakast in Bedford, [...] [...] mssinglemama on August 27, 2009 Remember how I mentioned John Bear being a bit “creeped out” when we arrive at our bed and breakast in Bedford, [...]

]]> By: Sunny http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12273 Sunny Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:19:52 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12273 Post-visitation "decompression" is totally common. It's hard for the little ones (and big ones) to bounce from house to house, different environment, different parent, different rules, expectations and enforcement. Sebastian was with his father for 4 weeks this summer and I went through the same thing. He was a wild man for an entire week and me at my wits end. I even looked at him and said the very same words! "Where is my Sebastian? I miss him very much. I miss his manners, I miss his hugs.." Sigh, all part of the process, I'm afraid. Post-visitation “decompression” is totally common. It’s hard for the little ones (and big ones) to bounce from house to house, different environment, different parent, different rules, expectations and enforcement.

Sebastian was with his father for 4 weeks this summer and I went through the same thing. He was a wild man for an entire week and me at my wits end. I even looked at him and said the very same words! “Where is my Sebastian? I miss him very much. I miss his manners, I miss his hugs..”

Sigh, all part of the process, I’m afraid.

]]> By: wyliekat http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12271 wyliekat Mon, 24 Aug 2009 19:34:27 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12271 Honestly - the way kids act about transitions will make even the most superhuman parent feel awful. Just before our recent trip to San Francisco, after a full five days of concentrated family time whilst camping, my ex had to cave and call me with a sobbing Rosebud, who was hysterical because she missed me. She always comes home tired, usually cranky and occasionally filthy. It really is part of the process, I swear. If there is/was truly something going wrong at his father's house, you wouldn't hear about it until several days later. Kids don't think in a linear fashion. Honestly – the way kids act about transitions will make even the most superhuman parent feel awful. Just before our recent trip to San Francisco, after a full five days of concentrated family time whilst camping, my ex had to cave and call me with a sobbing Rosebud, who was hysterical because she missed me.

She always comes home tired, usually cranky and occasionally filthy. It really is part of the process, I swear. If there is/was truly something going wrong at his father’s house, you wouldn’t hear about it until several days later. Kids don’t think in a linear fashion.

]]> By: mssinglemama http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12261 mssinglemama Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:58:57 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12261 No need here to try any more nice guys. I'll take the one I found and there are a million other reasons we are together, that's just one of them. No need here to try any more nice guys. I’ll take the one I found and there are a million other reasons we are together, that’s just one of them.

]]> By: Pick Up Lines http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12260 Pick Up Lines Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:28:38 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12260 I know you are grateful and praising "John Bear" for being the first guy who hasn't insulted you with questions about why you were with your child's father in the first place. If he is the first guy to act like this, I think you've had some bad luck in meeting guys so far. Any nice guy worth his salt would never question decisions in the past like that ... not if they intend on having a quality relationship. I am new to your blog so I'll have to go back and see where you met him. Believe me there are lots of other nice guys out there just like him waiting for a chance to meet a great woman like you. I know you are grateful and praising “John Bear” for being the first guy who hasn’t insulted you with questions about why you were with your child’s father in the first place. If he is the first guy to act like this, I think you’ve had some bad luck in meeting guys so far. Any nice guy worth his salt would never question decisions in the past like that … not if they intend on having a quality relationship. I am new to your blog so I’ll have to go back and see where you met him. Believe me there are lots of other nice guys out there just like him waiting for a chance to meet a great woman like you.

]]> By: Karen http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12249 Karen Sun, 23 Aug 2009 21:08:38 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12249 See, this is why I am unashamed that I am happy that Loe's father has nothing to do with us. It has been 3 years and she is happier than ever. Nothing compared to the depressed and sad little 1yr old she was when he first left. It broke my heart the way she was when she came back from the visits. A 1yr old shouldn't be depressed. You have him back now so thats good. :) See, this is why I am unashamed that I am happy that Loe’s father has nothing to do with us. It has been 3 years and she is happier than ever. Nothing compared to the depressed and sad little 1yr old she was when he first left. It broke my heart the way she was when she came back from the visits. A 1yr old shouldn’t be depressed.
You have him back now so thats good. :)

]]> By: Speedgirl http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12248 Speedgirl Sun, 23 Aug 2009 20:00:04 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12248 I totally agree with you that far too many other people think single moms "deserve a miserable life". My neighbors drive by my house when I am shoveling snow or trimming trees by myself or wrestling with weeds that are taller than me, and they always give me that look - the "well, you asked for it lady" look. They have also stopped talking to me, because as we all know, divorce is contagious! This blog has taught me that there is an entire community of single moms out there in the world - and we are strong enough to break those stereotypes. Because we are not alone. We are all in this together! I totally agree with you that far too many other people think single moms “deserve a miserable life”. My neighbors drive by my house when I am shoveling snow or trimming trees by myself or wrestling with weeds that are taller than me, and they always give me that look – the “well, you asked for it lady” look. They have also stopped talking to me, because as we all know, divorce is contagious! This blog has taught me that there is an entire community of single moms out there in the world – and we are strong enough to break those stereotypes. Because we are not alone. We are all in this together!

]]> By: Jenna Jean http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12247 Jenna Jean Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:39:40 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12247 Haha, that's funny he pulled up a Groundhog Day clip, that has got to be one of the best movies of all time. I wonder what your breaking point was, can't wait to read the next entry... Haha, that’s funny he pulled up a Groundhog Day clip, that has got to be one of the best movies of all time. I wonder what your breaking point was, can’t wait to read the next entry…

]]> By: Kate http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12245 Kate Sun, 23 Aug 2009 18:52:26 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12245 This is like reading my own life story... My kids are older now but I lived this! My ex-husband almost seemed to enjoy not caring for his children proporly to spite me.. and I too met a wonderful kind man who showed me how gentle a truly strong man can be. I can relate to how wonderful it feels not to be judged by the man in your life but to just be understood and accepted. You keep going with your posts.. you are such a support to single mothers. We get no sympathy from other people as they think we somehow asked for or deserve this lot in life. You are a good mother.. stay strong and keep blogging! This is like reading my own life story… My kids are older now but I lived this! My ex-husband almost seemed to enjoy not caring for his children proporly to spite me.. and I too met a wonderful kind man who showed me how gentle a truly strong man can be. I can relate to how wonderful it feels not to be judged by the man in your life but to just be understood and accepted. You keep going with your posts.. you are such a support to single mothers. We get no sympathy from other people as they think we somehow asked for or deserve this lot in life. You are a good mother.. stay strong and keep blogging!

]]> By: Glenda http://mssinglemama.com/2009/08/23/the-trip-story-part-3/#comment-12244 Glenda Sun, 23 Aug 2009 18:11:52 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4370#comment-12244 Sounds like an awesome vacation with John Bear. So happy for you! About Benjamin, well at least he can never hold it against you that you NEVER let him spend time with his father. At least know that when he gets older and he decides he doesnt' want to do long stays with his dad, that's the red flag. You're an amazing writer! Thanks for the cliff hanger... can't wait to hear about the wedding. Sounds like an awesome vacation with John Bear. So happy for you! About Benjamin, well at least he can never hold it against you that you NEVER let him spend time with his father. At least know that when he gets older and he decides he doesnt’ want to do long stays with his dad, that’s the red flag. You’re an amazing writer! Thanks for the cliff hanger… can’t wait to hear about the wedding.

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