Jon & Kate + the Del Mar?

by mssinglemama on August 4, 2009

The e-mails one receives when quoted by CNN.com in regards to Jon & Kate Plus 8…

“I saw your comments on Kate and the rumors about her involement with her bodyguard.  If the media did a little checking around, Kate has been know to have some connection with the Thoroughbred industry and horse racing.  If you looked around the 6th floor of Del Mar a few weeks ago you would have your answer. ” – signed, Elrod.

The Del Mar Horse Racing Track and Hotel

Say what? Someone please translate. Here’s a photo of the Del Mar Race Track. So does this mean Kate is really a wild woman who makes out with body guards between bets on thoroughbreds? Do we really, really care, people?

Stop judging. Seriously.

The woman was just cheated on and has to see her ex parading around the tabloids with his new women. Can’t even imagine what she must be going through. With that said, as I mentioned to Lisa of CNN.com, I hope Jon and Kate rise to the occasion and set a good example for every divorced family watching in this country and unify for the sake of the children.

Kids first during a divorce – always and no matter what.

So can someone please translate the above e-mail for me? And I really wish I could give Kate a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored. I know it would help.

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Sheila August 4, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Well, both Kate AND Jon were cheating, and apparently Kate was cheating first with her bodyguard, according to the celeb gossip sites. Who knows, really, and in the long run, nothing else matters except for those kids and their well-being.

Considering how much of the family’s dirty laundry is airing in public, I really, really, really feel badly for those kids and hope it all works out for them in the long run.

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Jen C. August 4, 2009 at 3:41 pm

Ugh, I feel bad for them too. It’s sad and none of this constant attention is making it any easier. You can only wonder how the kids will look back on this when they grow up.

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Canadian Bald Guy August 4, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Wow…I’m surprised at the “woman was just cheated on” comment, Alaina.

Without knowing anything about the situation (not to mention the aforementioned rumors mentioned by Sheila), how are we to know that both of them didn’t tell the other that moving on was okay? How long were they “separated” even before they signed divorce papers? How long have they decided that the marriage has really been over? How do we not know that both of them have found comfort in the arms of other people?

I really don’t know the specifics of the situation involving Jon’s supposed relationships with two different women, but he’s already stated that they’re both just “friends”…but I’m sure he’s a lying scumbag not to be believed.

Alaina, I’m not trying to defend Jon because, quite frankly, I don’t really care either way about the guy or their marriage or this television show…just their kids and the media circus that BOTH parents have brought upon them.

I would just think you would hold off on passing judgment so quickly on Jon in the very same article that you tell others to “stop judging” Kate.

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Christina August 4, 2009 at 4:31 pm

Hey now – that’s MY home town racetrack! I live about 3 miles from there 🙂 Point of clarification – no hotel on site. Just a race track and fairgrounds venue. Pretty cool though – where the turf meets the surf and all that.

And..yeah, I am in some sort of odd minority on this but I have to say that the one time I watched an entire episode last year before all this brouhaha – I predicted the end of that marriage solely because of Kate being an utter and complete menace to Jon the whole time! I know that doesn’t excuse cheating by either of them, but I defy any man to put up with that kind of endless nagging AS WELL AS parenting 8 kids AND exposing the whole thing to the world. Yeah, not a lot of sympathy for either of them really.

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Melissa August 4, 2009 at 4:41 pm

I agree with CBG. I have only watched a couple of episodes due to morbid curiousity because you just cant go ANYWHERE without hearing about these 2.

But as mentioned before, Kate supposedly cheated first. And not only THAT, if she is really like what she is like in that show in the way she behaves towards Jon I am surprised he stuck around as long as he did.

I dont know many men that would stand for that kind of emasculation.

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Kristy August 4, 2009 at 6:12 pm

My exhusband cheated on me. Guess what, I’m mature enough after much retrospection to realize that when a marriage tanks and a spouse cheats the other spouse also had some failure in the marriage. It takes two to make a marriage work and two are to blame when it falls apart. At the very least, she chose the wrong man and she’s accountable for that. We are all responsible in some part for our choices in life. Don’t act like “poor Kate who got cheated on”. That’s shortsighted.

I personally don’t care what either of them do with other people. The focus, you are correct, should be on the children. I’ve seen Jon do some stupid things but I think if I broke free of a control freak like Kate I’d go off the deep end for awhile too.

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mssinglemama August 4, 2009 at 6:14 pm

I am sorry to be a big wet blanket but none of us really know what went down or who cheated on who first. And to assume you do and to believe everything you watch on TV and read in the tabloids is just craziness.

And regardless of what really happened – she is going through the challenge of her life right now… and I don’t care who started it. And I’m sure he is as well. But they both need to cool it and just focus on those kids.

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arscuore August 4, 2009 at 6:18 pm

I’ve said it before and I will say it again. Even though they were on TV, no one knows what the reality of their relationship was. Just because you saw Kate nagging on TV doesn’t mean that was the standard in their relationship. And just because media sources claim he cheated first/she cheated first, no one really knows. So yes, don’t judge, because divorce is hard enough without 8 million people who think they know you chiming in. Time will tell if these two have any character at all.

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Janet August 4, 2009 at 6:47 pm

I have a couple of general comments–

First, I have seen a lot of people talk about cheating as if it’s okay IF the other partner was difficult to be around. I’m sorry, but I don’t agree. If you’re not happy in a relationship, talk about it with your partner, work through it, or end the relationship. That is the mature, adult way to handle it.

I also refuse to accept responsibilty for my ex-husband cheating on me while I was pregnant with the child we both decided to have. I was a good wife to him, and his poor choices will not convince me otherwise.

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mssinglemama August 4, 2009 at 7:15 pm

Janet – thank you SO much for writing that. Completely agree.

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Meg August 4, 2009 at 7:26 pm

Just read that cnn.com article. I think the whole thing is sad and crazy. But, it doesn’t matter how any of us interpret it–they will have to work through this situation, famous or not. Its tough no matter how you spin it. If they put the kids first, they will all come out ahead.

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BriBedell August 4, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Just saw a clip on et or something where jon was speaking about his girlfriend and how she use to do drugs and if he were to marry her that he would be honest with his kids about what drugs were…Little soon to be taking marriage but okay. Oh and he said that Kate came out of the blue last october and told him it was over. I mean I don’t know who started what. Or who was doing who first..but actions speak louder than words and Jon has been hanging out with this Haley (sp) a lot. Now obviously if Kate is “dating” her bodyguard then they have been hanging out a lot too. But at least she isn’t parading it around town. That we know of..the media shows you the version they want us to see. Just like everything else.

I feel bad for the children they must be so confused…

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Amy August 4, 2009 at 8:47 pm

That couple is insane and I have decided to forgive them for it IF they start spending time with and talking with their kids. Both have obviously been tainted by fame and fortune and forgetting where their priorities lie. WITH THEIR CHILDREN! Cancel this show already and make sure the kids have therapists who are there to help them recover and rejoin the ‘real world’.

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NewSingleMama August 4, 2009 at 9:14 pm

I’m so over these two fools lol.

I used to love the show, always kinda disliked Kate. Now they’re jsut so Hollywood and I can see how that effected their marriage.

I don’t think it’s the fault of one or the other, I think it’s both of their faults for letting the media intrude in on their family to the length that they did.

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LongTimeMarried August 5, 2009 at 12:57 am

I’ve been so frustrated having NO place to post a comment and to post it here where the two people I’d like to read it never will is just as frustrating, but what the heck.
First of all, NO one knows what went on inside that home and behind those doors. The TV program showed a very edited version of a snippet of the very full lives of the family. I personally don’t believe at this point the TV show is hurting the kids (I came from a broken home) and in fact it may be keeping their mind off what is going on to some extent. I may be wrong and not all eight kids will respond to all of this the same way, but I hope the show it isn’t hurting them. At least they don’t seem fazed with the cameras.
Secondly, I am sick to death of the media and everyone else using words like irrevocable situation. There are people (Jon and Kate included) that think their situation cannot be reconciled, however, marriages have gone through tougher times and just as public if not more so. Think about the Clintons. That wasn’t fun for any of them nor was it fun for our country. But what gets people through the crap times is commitment. There WILL be crap times in a marriage. Those times may last for a day, weeks, months and in some cases it may take a year or longer to get things back on track to fall back into a healthy relationship. It’s the commitment that should make people hang in there. I speak from 33 years of marriage. Most of the time it has been very good, but some times have been tough and always we have been glad we stuck it out in the end.
If only Jon and Kate could actually sit with a counselor what a lesson that would be for the nation. Can you imagine how many couples are afraid of therapy because they have no idea what it is or how it could help. What a great lesson for the nation if they could see people that were over and done with, but managed to find their way back to each other. Not enough time has elapsed in my opinion for the feelings to have left. I believe they both have so much pride and hostility that they should be locked in a room together so they can realize just what they still have. This divorce happened way too quickly and can be undone just as quick.
Again, don’t judge either of them. We see a tiny bit of their life except for what appears to be Jon living a male fantasy life that he’ll regret at some point. Just so they know it’s never too late.

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Jenna Jean August 5, 2009 at 7:05 am

I think the way they both handled the breakup is what speaks louder than words. Kate is mature and does not comment on anything. All of the pictures you see of her is being a doting mother.

Yet Jon is immature, dating 3-4 different women, having the babysitter spend the night in his “apartment” over the garage, doing candid interviews to such illustrious magazines as “People”, running around with Ed Hardy, and basically going through a midlife crisis. His pictures are filled with cigarettes, nights in Paris, with some leggy blonde hanger on with a stupid sloppy smile on his face.

Yes, Kate was a bitch to him while they were married. I don’t agree with how she treated him at all but after ten years I would be a bitch to someone too who constantly found life with 8 kids too overwhelming. Jon was her 9th kid.

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Farrell August 5, 2009 at 10:18 am

Janet,
The same thing happened to me. And while I was not always a good wife (but at least I never comitted adultery), I am still not responsible for the poor choices of my ex. Hats off to you; I don’t know when this all went down in your case, but for me it was 4 1/2 years ago and sometimes it’s still hard.

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melissa August 5, 2009 at 10:25 am

Really, people? Who cares? People have been getting married having kids and getting divorced FOREVER!!! Women and men alike have gone through worse! Why whay why are so many people so obsessed with these people?
Really, I have better things to worry about and I know you all do too.
MYOB is all I can say.
Sorry if that was negative, guess i’m having a bad day. Think I could tell my story to People Magazine, too?
Life in the Circus is what i’d call it…

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MiracleMileMom August 5, 2009 at 12:09 pm

First time poster…. but had to chime in. Yeah – I don’t take ANY responsiblity for my ex cheating on me when I was pregnant, unless, of course, I am responsible because I GOT pregnant and was somehow responsible for being placed on bedrest and unable to have sex….. so because I was unable to have sex (my fault??) I should accept responsibility for the fact he started sleeping with an intern at his office?

I’m so SICK of people trying to say “it takes two to tango” If I wanted to keep him from cheating, should I have had sex anyway – and then I could be held responsible for hurting my baby or miscarrying.

I took him back – and yes, I because quite the nagging, controling Kate. Why? Because after taking him back, he continued to act like a jerk, continued to keep other women on the sidelines. So…. according to him, and sadly, WOMEN with the same attitude, it’s my fault he cheated again, because I was such a bitch. Yes, I am resposible for taking him back…. I could have kicked him to the curb when he cheated the first time. Of course, then, I’d be accussed of not being capable of forgiveness, not being willing to work on things…. not understanding marriage is a committment, and that I need to – say it with me – take responsiblity for my part – you know – getting fat and pregnant and having complications, leaving me unattractive and unable to have sex.

Was I perfect? No. Did I deserve to be lied to, cheated on, decieved, and then BLAMED for it? HELL NO.

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emma August 5, 2009 at 12:46 pm

At this point, I’m not sure the subject is even “cheating” for this couple. They had problems, big time kid stress and they made it worse for themselves – both of them – by selling their privacy for money. A much, much bigger added stress. They not only sold their own privacy, but they sold the privacy of their children, too. Those kids will never be unknown, will probably never be un-stalked.

I read Kate’s book. She admits to being controlling and at times evil to Jon, even before they had children, even before marriage problems set in. In her own words. So of course the scenes where she’s verbally abusing and belittling him are ‘real’. You could film my husband and I for 10 years straight and never hear one bit of that kind of verbal lashing. So I don’t buy that somehow their interactions were edited to appear as if Kate was verbally abusive. She just was.

I think the main issue isn’t who cheated first or worst – or even why – but that their marriage is in trouble, their kids’ emotions are in trouble – and yet they can’t even give up the money the network gives them long enough to help their kids in private, quietly, without fan fare. They turned their separation into a circus and they made this choice for their kids, too. I don’t buy that Kate is a noble, hardworking martyr of a single mother struggling along bravely. She’s still selling her children’s privacy for money. It’s just so fame-whorish I just feel ick inside every time I see her working on her own publicity and honing her image. Clearly she was told how to behave by either attorneys or her PR firm. It makes me so angry for those children who deserve so, so much better.

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LongTimeMarried August 5, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Whether or not either Jon or Kate wanted to stop filming for their privacy or the children’s… they are under contract. Plain and simple.
Bottom line I stay lock them in a room and don’t let them out until they have talked. Really really talked. They never talked about all of this and that is such a shame. Marriages can overcome so much more than people realize if given a chance.
If Jon is going through a mid-life crisis at 32 what is he going to do at 40! Heaven help them all! Hopefully, things will have calmed down way before then for the entire family.
I wish they would get more support from everyone instead of blaming. It doesn’t matter. What’s done is done and they can’t do it over. They can only move forward with help and support and encouragement.

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mssinglemama August 5, 2009 at 5:52 pm

For those of you who have been cheated on, you may find comfort in this Letter to the Other Woman written by my best friend Mia:

http://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/23/a-letter-to-the-other-woman/

My heart goes out to all of you. And no, you are not responsible for his actions. Cheaters are the Kings of denial.

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Bobbi Janay August 6, 2009 at 12:07 am

I just stopped caring what Jon and Kate do during their kid free time. All that matters is their kids.

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DMBagiers August 6, 2009 at 7:42 am

Cheating isn’t really the issue at hand here, it’s the children and their well being. Personally, I think BOTH Kate and Jon have exploited their children at the cost of living a super fabulous lifestyle. Those kids make a VERY comfortable living for their parents who choose NOT to work outside the home. Kate is an RN by trade, she could make a fine living without being on TV and making her children work. Jon appears to be a good guy but not very ambitious, but hey, she married him so no pity there either.

My concern is for their working kids. Don’t think for one minute that those kids aren’t on a tight production schedule where filming and getting footage is the most important thing in their life….they are directed, forced into a TV show that they may or may not want anything to do with. Not only that, but every single thing about their lives is public, including a DIVORCE which, in my reality, should and would remain a private thing. Kate and Jon’s children make a fine living for their parents — do you think those kids give a rats ass if they live in a 1.3 million dollar compound? NO. All they care about is the love of their parents and having them together to parent them. Not many marriages could withstand pubic scrutiny week after week of filming and meeting production deadlines and trust me, this is not fun and games, this is business, BIG BUSINESS. Kate and Jon have an organic chef, maids, nannies — they take care of the kids with a LOT OF HELP — help most families would only dream of. Those children are walking advertisements — everything is free for them. EVERYTHING. Do you think those kids give a rats ass if they’re dressed alike in designer clothing? NO. But I bet they care when they’re put to work and filming all day long into to night….and that is their schedule. Trust me.

Anybody who thinks that this is reality TV is sadly mistaken — this is scripted TV and those kids are working kids. Again, making a very fine living for their parents. Jon moves in to a million dollar apartment on the Upper West Side of NYC — think he could have found a cheaper place closer to the family compound? Those folks are LOADED….as in BIG $$$$$$. WHY? BEcause they chose to have a BIG family and then put their kids to work. Their POOR choice. Remember Kate is an RN, she knew what she was getting into with regards to fertility. Look at all the other big families in the USA — who’s helping them? What about all the single Mothers who struggle every single month — who’s helping them? IF Kate and Jon wanna be on TV and talk about raising kids, let them, but leave the kids to live their life out of the public eye. NOTHING good can come from this for them, nothing. Already they are living a very public divorce from the two people they love most — their Mom and Dad. Shame on Kate and Jon. Shame on TLC for producing a money making show off the backs of those innocent children who DON’T have a voice.

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christine August 6, 2009 at 10:31 am

amen, janet.

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Jen August 21, 2009 at 7:11 am

I am totally in Kate’s camp. Jon was too much of a @#*(&#$^ to ever communicate with her and all she ever did was try, in her own albeit snippy way, to get everything done.

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