Whispers

by mssinglemama on July 29, 2009

My Secrets are Out…

bookprinted

Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love is here. But first a few words from my delirious haze. I am hoping they make sense…

Before I started writing this blog the whispers in my head, the words of strength from outside of myself were hard to come by. I only knew one or two fellow single moms and living at my mother’s for one year did a number on my social life. I was alone, utterly alone and it was uncomfortable.

I tried to find inspiration in other single mom books and while they were insightful on many levels, all fell short for me. I craved real, honest advice about dating and love. I didn’t know it then but I would soon fill that void myself and also become a voice for single mothers everywhere by shouting from the my little mountaintop: we are beautiful, we are strong and we are sexy as hell. And while this shit ain’t easy we don’t need a man to rescue us, we need to rescue ourselves.

I am not sure where those words came from. They started, I believe, as whispers in my own head or more like echoes. And then you all showed up. Your words and your thoughts inspired me to keep writing, to keep sharing my stories and your words, in turn, became the whispers in my head.

The most common e-mails I receive are from new single moms who have happened upon my site. Sometimes these e-mails come months after they’ve been here, others come after just a few days but they all say one thing, “You have changed how I see myself, you have helped me to become proud to be a single mother.” And then they always add, “And I’ve been searching through all of your archives, devouring each one and trying to find out more!”

I used to have the time to write each one back with a long, personal e-mail linking to old blog posts I knew would help them but now, there are so many, too many to answer and I hate that. I remember how I felt then, wanting someone to just tell me like it was – to lay it down straight. This eBook is for each and every one of you, for being here for so long and to those of you who are just joining us.

And from now on instead of hours of archive searching, all of my readers will now have my eBook, Ms. Single mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex & Love. New readers will use it catch up on everything they’ve missed. And for my long-time readers… this book, you’ll find, ties everything you read here together. There are so many stories I have kept from you – some because I just hadn’t gotten around to writing them and others because I just wasn’t ready.

But now here they are.

Enjoy.

The stories behind the blog.

single moms book - Ms. Single Mama Uncensored

Need to catch up on what you’ve missed? Or want to know the secrets and stories behind the blog?

Download your copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love for $14.95 and find out:

  • How Ms. Single Mama and her ex-husband met and fell in love
  • More about the allusive Biker, my first single mom romance
  • Read the story about my first single mom crush
  • What really happened with Mr. Man
  • Why my fling with Cabin Man was so short lived
  • Details on how to have a happy and healthy sex life as a single mom along with tips on dating including touchy issues like when to tell him about your single mom status and when to introduce him to the kids.

Click here to preview the first 10 pages or skip ahead and just buy the eBook.

Details: Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, 120 pages, PDF form. Click the add to cart button to purchase with any major credit card.

addtocart1

Blogger Affiliate Program – make money in your sleep

Become a Ms. Single Mama Uncensored affiliate and you’ll earn 30% back for every copy of the eBook you sell. Simply place banners and code on your website or blog and every time someone clicks that banner and purchases a copy of Ms. Single Mama Uncensored you’ll receive 30% back that’s about $4.95 a copy. It’s SO easy. Click here to set up your affiliate account.

P.S. The reviews are already coming in - the first is from Amanda at Stack of Spines, “The eBook reads like a girlfriend sitting across from you having cocktails and gushing her hopes, dreams, fears, and heartaches.” Read her entire review here.

and if you’re a blogger, make 30% back for every copy you sell! Read about my super exciting affiliate program here.<— Find badges here too!

Special Thanks:

To John. The irony of this book for single mamas is that I’m not sure it would be here without him… he has been working right alongside me either by watching Benjamin, making me dinner or by designing all of the beautiful banners you see on the site. He’s also been putting up with my sleep deprived, cranky self for over one month now, which is no easy feat – believe me. I adore him for that and am proud to say this book has actually brought us even closer together. Reading it for the first time just yesterday, John told me when he was finished, “I can see now how all of these experiences you had needed to happen before we met.”

And the biggest thanks goes to the true hero of every story I write… my Benjamin.

Congratulations to the Winners:

The Ms. Single Mama Uncensored winners are –

  1. Alexis
  2. Rebecca M.
  3. Ashlea
  4. @BobbiJanay
  5. @NancyJane17

[You have all been e-mailed with your special code for your free copy. Congratulations and thanks to everyone who entered!]

Related posts:

  1. Whispers in the trees (and some sex).
  2. Big Tease
  3. Why I am a single mother.
  4. Secrets, Secrets
  5. The dating front

{ 1 trackback }

A gift for you. | DatingWithaSecret.com
March 28, 2012 at 6:00 am

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Random Esquire July 29, 2009 at 8:58 pm

Very excited for you! Impressed and really pleased – congratulations, MSM!

best,
-R.

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Notesfromthegrove July 29, 2009 at 9:09 pm

Isn’t it funny how, no matter what you believe in; God, nothing, or something in between, somehow things just naturally work out and eventually make sense? I’m so happy for all of your success.

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Erin July 29, 2009 at 9:32 pm

Wow Alaina, I am just so thrilled for you. I’ve been reading you for a year now, and I have loved watching your story unfold. Thanks for being there for me and offering single mama strength and solidarity that I so desperately needed.

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jen July 29, 2009 at 11:40 pm

Congratulations Alaina. This is a great achievement. When’s the paperback coming out? I’m not into reading electronically – except for blog snippets of course.

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Melanie Blystra July 29, 2009 at 11:43 pm

Hi Alaina,
I have written you several times before under the name Spatulahandle. I don’t know if you remember me or not. Anyway…I wrote you a while ago about my ex husband and his girlfriend, Lisa, who kept going back to him and was continuously treated like crap. I have three kids with this poor excuse for a man and so does she. She contacted me about two weeks ago. He left her, three weeks before she had her third child, for another woman.
She contacted me to see if our kids could start seeing each other again. I had broken all ties with her and the kids when she went back to him because I just can’t deal with him…my blood boils when his name is mentioned, I just get physically sick.
Her oldest son, Cody, has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and his heart is not in good shape. He has been refusing to take his medicines. He is also very angry at his dad and takes it out on his three year old sister. He is ten years old, will be eleven in October. So I decided to help him. I told him that if he ever needs to talk to anyone about anything we are here for him…we are not going to cut communication anymore, no matter what happens. My kids were very excited to get to see their siblings for the first time in two years and they got to meet their new baby brother who is ten months old. I have had Cody at our house three days this week and have not once had a problem with anger issues or refusing to take his medicine. The kids are bonding and enjoying themselves.
Lisa, I think is mad at herself for getting back into a situation she knew would only get worse. The ex doesn’t help her with the kids for anything and he still comes to her for money and calls her all the time. As far as I know she hasn’t helped him at all. I don’t feel sorry for her, but I can sympathize with her because I was in her shoes eight years ago. The only difference between the two of us is that I had family to back me up when I needed it and she doesn’t. So I am going to do the best I can to support her and be her friend.

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Amanda July 30, 2009 at 3:51 am
mssinglemama July 30, 2009 at 4:32 am

Jen – no paperback in the near future, but you can print this out after you download it… hope that helps!

Melanie – good for you!

Alaina

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Alexis July 30, 2009 at 6:51 am

Thank you again!!!!! I think we need to meet someday! I love how you wrote we need to rescue ourselves…XOXO Alexis

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Bobbi Janay July 30, 2009 at 7:02 am

getting an error message when trying to get badges to advertise it.

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Rebecca July 30, 2009 at 7:42 am

Can’t get this to work:
Read about my super exciting affiliate program here

Thanks again—I never win ANYTHING! We are winners this week because my son won something at the library and I won this! Perhaps my luck is changing.

Love the book. Thanks for being brave enough to put it all out there :)

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mssinglemama July 30, 2009 at 9:27 am

I have fixed the affiliate link everyone. So sorry about that.

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Amy July 30, 2009 at 12:19 pm

Can’t rationalize spending the $15, but I’ll grab a copy from a friend!!!

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famejane July 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm

I definitely want to read it, but I agree with Amy. Maybe some of us can share it. I can’t read that much online, and that is a lot of money considering I’d have to print my own copy. :( Makes me sad. I’ve got to know the real story of Mr. Man!! Maybe Alaina can offer a package deal with a necklace and/or earrings???

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Jen C. July 30, 2009 at 3:46 pm

I just bought mine and printed it out! I’m excited to read this. For $15, which is a lot less than a night out to a movie would cost me, I’m gonna be all set for reading-during-my-commute for at least a week. Thanks, Alaina!

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deanna July 30, 2009 at 4:02 pm

$15 is not a lot of money for someone’s words that can help or entertain you. (or both) shame on any of you for wanting more for less. lattes, movies, shoes, lipstick, lunch with friends, the etc… people spend more money on crap than they even realize. don’t knock the price. just pay it or don’t. don’t criticize the cost. geez!

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jen_k_ July 30, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Gotta say it. $15? A steal.

I’ve read every word. I’d pay double.

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ashlea July 30, 2009 at 5:58 pm

I’ve been reading in every free second and I am totally engrossed!!
Some very yucky financial stresses and undue pressures today, brought on of course, by my ex husband……….along with a bunch of little things gone wrong, which included my 6am shower half time show: soaking wet streaker mom runs to turn off faulty smoke detector as little ones rise from slumber much too early, no doubt as a result of said chaos. Lovely.
BUT……….All day I managed to smile and feel like a WINNER after winning my free copy of MSM’s new book!!!!! Thank you!!!!! We’re all going to be the better for it. I just know!

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ashlea July 30, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Rebecca:
My son also won something this week………10lbs of ground beef (random, I know). Saves grocery money!!! What a trend!

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famejane July 31, 2009 at 5:12 pm

It continues to amaze me how people on Alaina’s blog will lash out at anyone who posts a comment that could be construed as negative or not totally with the flow of unconditional support. Alaina said in her video that she wants feedback on if we think $14.95 is too much for the book. I was merely suggesting that it could be a good hook to package it with earrings and/or the necklace. And for others to say it’s too much for their budget, why attack them and say, “shame of you for wanting more for less”? No one has a right to judge another if they say they can’t afford something. Some of us are unemployed and trying to raise kids on a fixed income without the help of their ex’s who might be a deadbeat. I believe in the premise of this blog being one of support for each other, but if it is such that one can’t disagree of go against the flow without being called out, then I’ll be very disappointed.

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mssinglemama August 1, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Jane – I think you may be a bit defensive. I don’t think anyone is lashing out at anyone. These are all opinions and all fair opinions at that.

I am giving this a lot of thought, the debate over the price of my eBook but keep in mind I am also an unemployed single mom who (as of this week) is no longer receiving any child support whatsoever. I set the price based on what I knew I would need to continue blogging full time.

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famejane August 1, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Thanks for the personal response Alaina. But with all due respect when someone says, “shame on you”, it does have a bit of a “scolding” connotation. I hate to generalize, but I think the typical reader of your blog is so blindly supportive of your every move – sometimes it drives me nuts. And, I hope you know that I mean no disrespect to you or your readers. It’s simply my observation. You know that I am a fan of yours, but if I’m going to continue to read your blog (which I’ve been loyal to for over a year), I need to feel that I can honestly speak my mind without expecting to be told to go somewhere else. Thanks Alaina, Jane.

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Ms. Single Mama August 1, 2009 at 6:21 pm

I didn’t see the shame on you part … Sorry you feel you can’t speak your mind. I think it’s great to be passionate but expect others to respond with equal passion.

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famejane August 1, 2009 at 7:17 pm

I don’t mean to pick on a small point and make it bigger than it is, but read Deanna’s comment. We can let this drop and move on.
:)

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sane&sobersinglemama August 11, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Hey alaina! haven’t reading up lately. nice to see the result of your hard work!

Cheers! :)

-barbie

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