The Crush

by mssinglemama on July 24, 2009

An excerpt from Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, my eBook coming out on July 30th. Leave a comment here and be entered to win a copy.

The Crush

Why losing your heart as a new single mom is not an option

When I first saw him I couldn’t stop staring but I tried. I started rearranging things on my desk, sorting papers and placing all of the errant paper clips back in their little bunny basket. The desk decorations weren’t mine, they were all hand me downs left by the secretary before me. The desk itself was at least thirty years old, giant and heavy with metal edges worn and actually rusting in spots.

Six weeks before I had been an account assistant at a boutique ad agency in the city and now I was here, at the radio station I had interned for in high school. The job had miraculously opened up just days before I’d decided to leave my husband and it paid just enough to cover my bills with a little left over for some groceries. Rather than feeling ashamed for taking such a huge step back, I spent my days laughing with my old co-workers, sharing memories and escaping from the reality that awaited me at my mother’s house. I missed Benjamin terribly during the days, but I needed the eight-hour break my babysitter and mother afforded me.

Every week, one of the station’s shows would feature a guest from the community, an upstanding citizen or someone who wanted to promote an upcoming event like a concert, festival or art fair. When he walked in the door snapped shut behind him and I looked up but he kept walking and took a seat on the bench in the hallway. Clearly he had been here before. His brown pants matched an equally bland shirt and his beard looked scruffy around his soft cheeks and dark eyes. His boots were worn and he tapped his foot a bit before crossing his arms over his thick chest.

“Hi,” I said, “I’m Alaina.”

“Very nice to meet you Alaina,” he said. His voice add a kindness about it, a warm generosity but his eyes were hiding some kind of pain.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“My band has a few charity shows coming up. You?”

“You’re up,” the show host said. The words broke our conversation and with that the man stood up, nodded politely at me and then ducked into the studio. I relaxed back into my chair and turned the radio up so I could hear his words flowing through the speakers. He was talking about his non-profit organization and his band but all I heard was love, passion, fire – the voice of someone who cared about life and his community. I imagined what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that passion.

To be continued… in Ms. Single Mama Uncensored.

Related posts:

  1. Mizrahi’s “blog”, a pregnant man and my crush on Handy Manny.
  2. Dear Single Men:
  3. That Couple

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

April July 24, 2009 at 5:58 am

Oooh! Can’t wait to hear the rest! At my job, I have cute guys file past my desk all the time…never had the moxy to introduce myself, though. LOL You go, girl!

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Colleen July 24, 2009 at 5:59 am

OMG ya big ole meanie! Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh GET THAT BOOK UP!

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Lisa July 24, 2009 at 6:33 am

I can’t wait to read the book!

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Michelle July 24, 2009 at 6:52 am

oh no! A cliffhanger. I’ll be hanging on by my fingernails! Hurry it up will ya!?!

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Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) July 24, 2009 at 7:25 am

This is amazing…. you know we all have to hear more!

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carrie July 24, 2009 at 8:30 am

Nice excerpt, but not what I would call juicy!

Still want to read more though.

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liz July 24, 2009 at 8:40 am

Ohh… the suspense! Can’t wait for the eBook!

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Sunny July 24, 2009 at 8:46 am

Alaina – you’re such a tease! love it!

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Hanna July 24, 2009 at 9:20 am

lol I love that there’s a whole slew of stories we don’t know about. How can you blog about everything, right?

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Rosie July 24, 2009 at 9:36 am

What a tease! Can’t wait to read the book!

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Erin July 24, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Ooohh juicy! Can’t wait to read more about it!

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Tisha July 24, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Jacko, Seriously? Seriously OMFG!! And you’re a winner right? Bullying someone on the internet?!

MSM you are awesome and I can’t wait to read the rest of the book!!


This is MSM - Thanks Tisha. I deleted his comment because he a psycho and it’s just a waste of time for any of us to pay attention to him.

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Cheryl July 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Can I live vicariously through you today? The joy in your “voice” (writing) is so sweet & maybe, if I’m lucky, contagious. I wouldn’t mind a little joy in my life again, in whatever form it chooses to arrive.

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Speedgirl July 24, 2009 at 4:02 pm

I can’t wait to read more! It will be a great “escape” read to wind down at night as I try to get back on a normal schedule before school starts :)

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Melissa July 24, 2009 at 6:46 pm

So exciting! Can’t wait to read it when it comes out.

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Mandi July 25, 2009 at 7:41 am

AH! You’re killing me with this stuff!

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Ruby July 25, 2009 at 11:22 am

This book sounds exciting!!

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Amy July 25, 2009 at 7:03 pm

The rest!! We want to hear the REST!

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Amy Sue Nathan @ Suburban Kvetch July 26, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Dating stories…gotta love ‘em!

An e-book — how exciting for you and for all of us!

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Michelle July 28, 2009 at 8:33 am

How refreshing, I can’t wait to read the rest. It just gives you a great sense of hope that there is a light on the other side, lol.

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