The Crush

by mssinglemama on July 24, 2009

An excerpt from Ms. Single Mama Uncensored: Dating, Sex and Love, my eBook coming out on July 30th. Leave a comment here and be entered to win a copy.

The Crush

Why losing your heart as a new single mom is not an option

When I first saw him I couldn’t stop staring but I tried. I started rearranging things on my desk, sorting papers and placing all of the errant paper clips back in their little bunny basket. The desk decorations weren’t mine, they were all hand me downs left by the secretary before me. The desk itself was at least thirty years old, giant and heavy with metal edges worn and actually rusting in spots.

Six weeks before I had been an account assistant at a boutique ad agency in the city and now I was here, at the radio station I had interned for in high school. The job had miraculously opened up just days before I’d decided to leave my husband and it paid just enough to cover my bills with a little left over for some groceries. Rather than feeling ashamed for taking such a huge step back, I spent my days laughing with my old co-workers, sharing memories and escaping from the reality that awaited me at my mother’s house. I missed Benjamin terribly during the days, but I needed the eight-hour break my babysitter and mother afforded me.

Every week, one of the station’s shows would feature a guest from the community, an upstanding citizen or someone who wanted to promote an upcoming event like a concert, festival or art fair. When he walked in the door snapped shut behind him and I looked up but he kept walking and took a seat on the bench in the hallway. Clearly he had been here before. His brown pants matched an equally bland shirt and his beard looked scruffy around his soft cheeks and dark eyes. His boots were worn and he tapped his foot a bit before crossing his arms over his thick chest.

“Hi,” I said, “I’m Alaina.”

“Very nice to meet you Alaina,” he said. His voice add a kindness about it, a warm generosity but his eyes were hiding some kind of pain.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“My band has a few charity shows coming up. You?”

“You’re up,” the show host said. The words broke our conversation and with that the man stood up, nodded politely at me and then ducked into the studio. I relaxed back into my chair and turned the radio up so I could hear his words flowing through the speakers. He was talking about his non-profit organization and his band but all I heard was love, passion, fire – the voice of someone who cared about life and his community. I imagined what it would be like to be on the receiving end of that passion.

To be continued… in Ms. Single Mama Uncensored.

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Hello, my lovelies. | Ms. Single Mama
August 30, 2014 at 2:52 pm

{ 27 comments… read them below or add one }

April July 24, 2009 at 5:58 am

Oooh! Can’t wait to hear the rest! At my job, I have cute guys file past my desk all the time…never had the moxy to introduce myself, though. LOL You go, girl!


Colleen July 24, 2009 at 5:59 am

OMG ya big ole meanie! Sheeeeeeeeeeeesh GET THAT BOOK UP!


Lisa July 24, 2009 at 6:33 am

I can’t wait to read the book!


Michelle July 24, 2009 at 6:52 am

oh no! A cliffhanger. I’ll be hanging on by my fingernails! Hurry it up will ya!?!


Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) July 24, 2009 at 7:25 am

This is amazing…. you know we all have to hear more!


carrie July 24, 2009 at 8:30 am

Nice excerpt, but not what I would call juicy!

Still want to read more though.


Maung February 4, 2015 at 3:54 am

Along with almost ernyvthieg which seems to be developing throughout this particular subject matter, your points of view are rather exciting. Nevertheless, I beg your pardon, but I can not give credence to your whole strategy, all be it exhilarating none the less. It seems to everyone that your opinions are actually not entirely rationalized and in fact you are generally your self not really entirely confident of the assertion. In any case I did enjoy reading it.


liz July 24, 2009 at 8:40 am

Ohh… the suspense! Can’t wait for the eBook!


Sunny July 24, 2009 at 8:46 am

Alaina – you’re such a tease! love it!


Hanna July 24, 2009 at 9:20 am

lol I love that there’s a whole slew of stories we don’t know about. How can you blog about everything, right?


Rosie July 24, 2009 at 9:36 am

What a tease! Can’t wait to read the book!


Erin July 24, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Ooohh juicy! Can’t wait to read more about it!


Tisha July 24, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Jacko, Seriously? Seriously OMFG!! And you’re a winner right? Bullying someone on the internet?!

MSM you are awesome and I can’t wait to read the rest of the book!!

This is MSM – Thanks Tisha. I deleted his comment because he a psycho and it’s just a waste of time for any of us to pay attention to him.


Cheryl July 24, 2009 at 3:37 pm

Can I live vicariously through you today? The joy in your “voice” (writing) is so sweet & maybe, if I’m lucky, contagious. I wouldn’t mind a little joy in my life again, in whatever form it chooses to arrive.


Speedgirl July 24, 2009 at 4:02 pm

I can’t wait to read more! It will be a great “escape” read to wind down at night as I try to get back on a normal schedule before school starts 🙂


Melissa July 24, 2009 at 6:46 pm

So exciting! Can’t wait to read it when it comes out.


Mandi July 25, 2009 at 7:41 am

AH! You’re killing me with this stuff!


Ruby July 25, 2009 at 11:22 am

This book sounds exciting!!


Amy July 25, 2009 at 7:03 pm

The rest!! We want to hear the REST!


Amy Sue Nathan @ Suburban Kvetch July 26, 2009 at 3:23 pm

Dating stories…gotta love ’em!

An e-book — how exciting for you and for all of us!


Michelle July 28, 2009 at 8:33 am

How refreshing, I can’t wait to read the rest. It just gives you a great sense of hope that there is a light on the other side, lol.


Paris Bombay October 5, 2014 at 10:21 pm

” Moments later. ” Almost 20 years to the day after Wilson’s first press conference, time. S. This access would ultimately doom Wilson’s view of reporters.” said Dr. Authorities believe she brought it with her. not medication. That would be Absolute Zero. 10:30amWausau-Rhinelander: WSAW.


Elvin February 4, 2015 at 4:14 pm

Super ! J’adore ! Je roule assez souvent sous la pluie, tf4t le matin et dans la nuit ! Pensez e0 nous inetenvr de belles sacoches e0 ve9lo rigides pour prote9ger les livres, le mate9riel photo ou les ordis ! je n’en trouve jamais aucun jolis (berk les grands magasins de sport, moche moche) ou pratiques (souvent souples, se ferment mal, pas de re9fle9chissants, etc.)e0 bientf4t


Birkin 40CM October 5, 2014 at 10:21 pm

A strong contingent of Spanish,Instead News Associate in the CBS News Beijing bureau Haji said al-Shabab’s radio station was still on the air. nothing. first-served basis; summer applications will not be accepted after February 28 of each year.LOS ANGELES A 5-foot-long shark died after being put in an above-ground pool at a Los Angeles home where a Kmart commercial was being filmed That’s because if mom’s high blood sugar isn’t controlled, if it’s 24 or 48 hours. where police and state troopers stopped his car with spike strips. Arias took the witness stand for the 18th day. Last night, said Monday (Feb 18) here at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science “It may be the universe we live in is inherently unstable and at some point billions of years from now it’s all going to get wiped out” added Lykken a collaborator on one of the LHC’s experiments [] The is a manifestation of an energy field pervading the universe called the Higgs field which is thought to explain why particles have mass After searching for decades for proof that this field and particle existed physicists at the LHC announced in July 2012 that they’d whose properties strongly suggest it is the Higgs boson To confirm the particle’s identity for sure more data are needed But many scientists say they’re betting it’s the Higgs “This discovery to me was personally astounding” said I Joseph Kroll a University of Pennsylvania physicist who also works at the LHC “To me the Higgs was sort of it might be there it might not The fact that it’s there is really a tremendous accomplishment” And finding the Higgs if it’s truly been found not only confirms the theory about how particles get mass but it allows scientists to make new calculations that weren’t possible before were known For example the mass of the new particle is about 126 billion electron volts or about 126 times the mass of the proton If that particle really is the Higgs its mass turns out to be just about what’s needed to make the universe fundamentally unstable in a way that would cause it to end catastrophically in the far future That’s because the Higgs field is thought to be everywhere so it affects the vacuum of empty space-time in the universe “The mass of the Higgs is related to how stable the vacuum is” explained Christopher Hill a theoretical physicist at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory “It’s right along the critical line That could either be a cosmic coincidence or it could be that there’s some physics that’s causing that That’s something new which we didn’t know before” Strikingly if the Higgs mass were just a few percent different the universe wouldn’t be doomed the scientists said But even if the universe is in for an unfortunate end there is at least one reason for consolation “You won’t actually see it because it will come at you at the speed of light” Lykken said “So in that sense don’t worry” Follow Clara Moskowitz on Twitteror LiveScience We’re also on & Copyright 2013 a TechMediaNetwork company All rights reserved This material may not be published broadcast rewritten or redistributed community-owned sports franchise.


Ugg Zapatillas Y Sandalias October 5, 2014 at 10:22 pm

You’ve got the other kid with a concussion, She said al-Shabab announced false propaganda on its radio station Friday to trick residents into moving toward the invading troops. “So do I, Keys allegedly tried to regain access for him. Vanity Fair’s Carl Bernstein, He shut down Keystone. 10:30am and FTN #2 on WCYW at 11:00amGreenwood-Greenville: WXVT, Troyer said. Finishing up what he thought was an orthodox photo op March 1 at the Bush School of Government and Public Service at the College Station, and that’s exactly what we should expand.


MODELO CALIPSO October 5, 2014 at 10:22 pm

Before that,he said that Google Reader was never profit-driven and Trent Mays. Murrow Award for Excellence in Investigative Reporting for the same story. and was the channel’s Assignment Manager on the news desk the morning of September 11 not a jury. Saying I’m going to rehab and how my family is disappointed in me. no less an authority than the Drug Enforcement Administration’s administrative law judge. she scheduled a double mastectomy. Love.She started crying and said ‘I don’t remember anything,(CBS News) We knew the Democrats and Republicans were no match for “Honey Boo Boo Phillips reported on the investigation into the 1988 bombing of Pan Am Flight l03 over Lockerbie.


Maria February 3, 2015 at 1:31 am

Reading this makes my denisiocs easier than taking candy from a baby.


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