Comments on: My Boyfriend http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/ Single Mom Dating, Love, and Life Advice Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:03:17 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Allison http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11551 Allison Thu, 30 Jul 2009 20:53:04 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11551 When Tommy & I hit this level in our relationship, we both giggled at the boyfriend/girlfriend label. Both of us had been married, cheated on & divorced & the label felt silly & weird. I don't shudder any more when I hear it but I just don't use the term very often. My kids call him all kinds of goofy little names but "mom's boyfriend" is not one of them. :) When Tommy & I hit this level in our relationship, we both giggled at the boyfriend/girlfriend label. Both of us had been married, cheated on & divorced & the label felt silly & weird. I don’t shudder any more when I hear it but I just don’t use the term very often. My kids call him all kinds of goofy little names but “mom’s boyfriend” is not one of them. :)

]]> By: Heather http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11548 Heather Thu, 30 Jul 2009 19:40:13 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11548 Just happened upon your blog and, particularily, this post and I am so happy to have found you! I have also struggled with the boyfriend label. It feels like it lessens the seriousness of our relationship and plays into too many stereotypes and judgements of single mamas with boyfriends. Additionally, I found I would immediately add, "We've been together for so-so many months/years", so as to validify our relationship. He just recently moved in with me and my 6 year old son, so calling him my boyfriends feels even less appropriate now. When I call him my partner, most people think I am a lesbian, which I don't have a problem with... its just not true of my situation. Just happened upon your blog and, particularily, this post and I am so happy to have found you!

I have also struggled with the boyfriend label. It feels like it lessens the seriousness of our relationship and plays into too many stereotypes and judgements of single mamas with boyfriends. Additionally, I found I would immediately add, “We’ve been together for so-so many months/years”, so as to validify our relationship.

He just recently moved in with me and my 6 year old son, so calling him my boyfriends feels even less appropriate now. When I call him my partner, most people think I am a lesbian, which I don’t have a problem with… its just not true of my situation.

]]> By: TorontoMama http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11358 TorontoMama Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:53:09 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11358 How cute are you two? :) You have hit the nail right on the head. Getting used to saying "TheEx" or "my daughter's father" to people and reading their reaction, and then saying "my boyfriend," it's just a whole different dimension. Words are just words though, and at the end of the day, we are all human with very basic needs. How cute are you two? :)

You have hit the nail right on the head. Getting used to saying “TheEx” or “my daughter’s father” to people and reading their reaction, and then saying “my boyfriend,” it’s just a whole different dimension.

Words are just words though, and at the end of the day, we are all human with very basic needs.

]]> By: MommaSunshine http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11281 MommaSunshine Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:10:38 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11281 For some reason I find myself stumbling over the word "boyfriend"...it does feel juvenile, and simply....not "enough". But as for being a single momma with a boyfriend....screw anyone who looks down on that. I'm right there with ya, girl! :) For some reason I find myself stumbling over the word “boyfriend”…it does feel juvenile, and simply….not “enough”.

But as for being a single momma with a boyfriend….screw anyone who looks down on that. I’m right there with ya, girl! :)

]]> By: Speedgirl http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11264 Speedgirl Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:58:00 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11264 For me, the thought of using the term "boyfriend" seems awkward too. I think part of it is being labeled myself (you know the stereotype of the single-mom who serial-dates and is constantly in and out of 'serious' relationships) The other thing I thought of while reading this is that we are so much more mature now. "Boyfriend" seems juvenile at times. But maybe that is because I teach high school and hear it thrown around in that context so often. What do you think? Is t of the awkwardness because we are not teenagers any more? For me, the thought of using the term “boyfriend” seems awkward too. I think part of it is being labeled myself (you know the stereotype of the single-mom who serial-dates and is constantly in and out of ’serious’ relationships) The other thing I thought of while reading this is that we are so much more mature now. “Boyfriend” seems juvenile at times. But maybe that is because I teach high school and hear it thrown around in that context so often. What do you think? Is t of the awkwardness because we are not teenagers any more?

]]> By: Bobbi Janay http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11263 Bobbi Janay Tue, 21 Jul 2009 03:30:12 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11263 I have to go with John Bear mantastic friend sounds quite awesome. I have to go with John Bear mantastic friend sounds quite awesome.

]]> By: mssinglemama http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11261 mssinglemama Tue, 21 Jul 2009 01:53:28 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11261 @arscuore - that's a really, really good point. @wyliekat - she does have a point but I love what your mother said - speaks volumes when your labels evolve in your own mind to making it about the child and not about your relationship to him/her. @arscuore – that’s a really, really good point. @wyliekat – she does have a point but I love what your mother said – speaks volumes when your labels evolve in your own mind to making it about the child and not about your relationship to him/her.

]]> By: famejane http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11260 famejane Tue, 21 Jul 2009 01:44:38 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11260 I don't think there is anything at all wrong with proudly shouting, "HE'S MY BOYFRIEND!". Or how about simply, "He's my man!" Be proud of it. If anyone has a problem with it, it's their problem. I don’t think there is anything at all wrong with proudly shouting, “HE’S MY BOYFRIEND!”. Or how about simply, “He’s my man!” Be proud of it. If anyone has a problem with it, it’s their problem.

]]> By: arscuore http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11259 arscuore Tue, 21 Jul 2009 01:35:51 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11259 @wyliekat: Nah, "the ex" won't turn into "my child's father" until he starts acting like it... You gotta earn your title. @wyliekat: Nah, “the ex” won’t turn into “my child’s father” until he starts acting like it… You gotta earn your title.

]]> By: Elisabeth http://mssinglemama.com/2009/07/19/my-boyfriend/#comment-11257 Elisabeth Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:01:00 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=4010#comment-11257 I love, love, LOVE this picture of you two. You have your eyes closed kissing the man you obviously adore. And he's looking at us like "isn't she just the best thing ever?" And of course your boyfriend is right :) I love, love, LOVE this picture of you two. You have your eyes closed kissing the man you obviously adore. And he’s looking at us like “isn’t she just the best thing ever?” And of course your boyfriend is right :)

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