Comments on: Single Moms & Married Moms

By: a

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 04:42:29 +0000

I get along with old moms who are now grandmothers because they can laugh and relate with any of my stories about child-rearing, marriage, or physical changes. They also are more carefree, non-judgemental and hope for the best for you. Just my opinion again. Some on nicest friendships I’ve ever had were with moms, 20-50 years older than me, who are now grandmothers.

By: a

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 04:30:37 +0000

It’s hard to be friends with other mothers, let alone their marital status, due to children’s needs and schedules. I also think married moms are a little more hesitant to make friends with single mothers that they barely know in lieu of the cliche “husband cheats with friend” scenario. Plus, as mothers, we are all at different stages in our relationships, have put many of our own needs aside, and are at different maturity stages with our children. (I, unfortunately, think some mothers shun other mothers out of petty jealousy…say…one mother is in great shape with 3 kids, while another mother has struggled for 2 yrs to get rid of the baby weight or another scenario: one mother is in her late 30s to early 40s and another mother is in her early 20s to early 30s…..one mother looks unfrazzled and free of wrinkles/lines while another mother is casually dressed, hair thrown in a ponytail, and worry lines all over her forhead and mouth while shouting for her child to get down or stop that..etc. Also, one mother may have the perfect husband who comes to the kids school functions and who is polite and everything while another mother may have a husband she has to yell/taunt/ or threaten to do anything for the children. Just my 2 cents…that envy in some form or another may prevent alot of mothers from striking up a bond. Don’t hate me for writing all this…just writing from my observations.)

By: Single Mom

Single Mom — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 22:07:39 +0000

As a single mom myself I can tell you that I have plenty of friends who are married. Actually I think I have more married mom friends then single ones.

By: mia

mia — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:55:14 +0000

I am feeling liek quite the unmarried outcast at the local pool these days. I tell myself its because I am not from the area (it is in my ex's new neighborhood)… but I wonder….

mssinglemama– you are a wonderful friend, and single mom mentor! I am lucky to have you, too!

By: Jenny

Jenny — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:52:12 +0000

I have problems being friends with any mom. Some think they're to good to be friends with anyone else, some think they're set in their little circle of snooty, and others think…she's a geek/nerd we don't want anything to do with her. So I just don't bother. Plus, I'm younger then any mom in these groups they have going on in my town. I hate being looked down on, so…why bother if they're gonna be skanks about my age and interests.

By: Amy Sue Nathan

Amy Sue Nathan — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:01:16 +0000

I find that married moms don't want to be friends with divorced moms – because then you can't do the couples thing. That's why I call myself The Tuesday Target friend. Since I met most of my current friends when I was married, now our friendships are usually designated to the occasional moms-night-out (gag me), coffeee, lunch and day time errands. I work from home – so I can do this – and most of my friends are SAHMs. But it has been years since all but one of my friends has invited me out on a weekend. And since I'm proudly passive aggressive, I figure if I ever meet someone and start to get invited out, I will say no thank you, duly cutting off my nose to spite my face.

I'm struggling with the fact that I really, really need new friends. Even married ones – but people who know me now as I am – not people who knew me when.

By: SingleMamaNYC

SingleMamaNYC — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:57:23 +0000

I have wonderful friends who are married mamas. Sometimes a mom is just a mom. I often feel bad for a couple of them actually — I find it's easier to be a single mom and know in advance that you will be doing everything pretty much on your own as opposed to some of the married moms I know who are deeply frustrated at their husband's lack of support. They sometimes admit that they wish they were single mamas like I am. Irony of ironies, wouldn't you say?

By: Amber Warren

Amber Warren — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:56:39 +0000

Huh. I've never thought it was hard to make friends with moms. Moms of any situation. When I became a mom it was like I was immediately induced into this new fabulous club where its OK to talk about post-partum depression, complain about your husband, discuss boobs and breast-feeding, and pooping schedules. There's no boundaries when you're a mom – you just get to dive right into the nitty gritties. So I find it really bizarre and interesting that so many women think it's hard to befriend moms at all. Friendship is one of the most important things in this world to me and the mom friends I've met and what I've learned from them is amazing.

By: amy

amy — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:26:08 +0000

Have been married 17 years and over those years I have made and been friends with single Mom's and married Mom's. Makes little difference provided the friendship is a rewarding one. Three of my best friends for example are single at this point. Two never married (one of which lesbian single mom), and the other currently separated from her hubby.

It all depends on the person

By: Abby Carter

Abby Carter — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 00:25:59 +0000

I actually have only one single mom friend, the rest are all married. Perhaps its because my kids are older and you begin to meet other parents through school and whatnot. The problem I find is that the married couples are always so busy and much less spontaneous. I wish I knew a few more single moms to be honest. I love the idea of having a "tribe" of sorts where cooking and child care gets shared. I seemed to have missed out on that. But perhaps that's just an illusion anyway.
Overall though, married or single is less of an issue than the actual friendship.