Comments on: My dark side http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/ Single Mom Dating, Love, and Life Advice Fri, 19 Mar 2010 04:18:51 -0400 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: How do you work it? http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-14212 How do you work it? Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:45:39 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-14212 [...] So there we were, two single moms, one in the midst of year three and beginning the best relationship she’s ever had and the other just beginning, only a single for five months with two daughters-ages 11 and 5. We spent a good amount of our time that day talking about everything from ex-management to bad boy complexes and facing your fears as a single mom. [...] [...] So there we were, two single moms, one in the midst of year three and beginning the best relationship she’s ever had and the other just beginning, only a single for five months with two daughters-ages 11 and 5. We spent a good amount of our time that day talking about everything from ex-management to bad boy complexes and facing your fears as a single mom. [...]

]]> By: Gina http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-11021 Gina Thu, 16 Jul 2009 02:45:50 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-11021 I'm a widow with 2 boys aged 8 and 6, my problem is I still love my beloved hubby who past away 2 1/2 yrs ago, there are few guys that I have met but the problem is I still can't let go the relationship that I had with my hubby, this has blocked me from being closer to other man, I feel really lonely at times. I know I have to move on but I don't know how and the man that I have met are not the type that i want to be with, I really hope to let go my past and hope to find the right partner soon. I’m a widow with 2 boys aged 8 and 6, my problem is I still love my beloved hubby who past away 2 1/2 yrs ago, there are few guys that I have met but the problem is I still can’t let go the relationship that I had with my hubby, this has blocked me from being closer to other man, I feel really lonely at times. I know I have to move on but I don’t know how and the man that I have met are not the type that i want to be with, I really hope to let go my past and hope to find the right partner soon.

]]> By: Courtney http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-11015 Courtney Tue, 14 Jul 2009 22:21:01 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-11015 I'm a married mom and it is hard. There is no secret fix. For my hubbie and I the only thing that really makes it work is knowing that no matter how bad things get neither of us is budging. We are in this for the long haul. If neither of us is leaving we better figure it out so it can be good again. Between that commitment, prayers, and a lot of grace we get through and, more often than not, it is amazing. I’m a married mom and it is hard. There is no secret fix. For my hubbie and I the only thing that really makes it work is knowing that no matter how bad things get neither of us is budging. We are in this for the long haul. If neither of us is leaving we better figure it out so it can be good again. Between that commitment, prayers, and a lot of grace we get through and, more often than not, it is amazing.

]]> By: famejane http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-10961 famejane Mon, 13 Jul 2009 02:42:56 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-10961 Everyone has a dark side sweety. It's important to accept this fact. It's also important to not take it out on those you love. It sounds like your dark side might contain an element of self-sabotage. Now that you've found the love of your life, you need to protect it. Certainly, if he is everything you say he is, he'll learn to understand you and he'll learn not to take things personally, but men are sensitive animals. More importantly, you must protect Benjamin from it, for he is not able to understand it. I had a mother with an extremely dark side and I still struggle to not blame myself for things that have happened throughout our lives. Everyone has a dark side sweety. It's important to accept this fact. It's also important to not take it out on those you love. It sounds like your dark side might contain an element of self-sabotage. Now that you've found the love of your life, you need to protect it. Certainly, if he is everything you say he is, he'll learn to understand you and he'll learn not to take things personally, but men are sensitive animals. More importantly, you must protect Benjamin from it, for he is not able to understand it. I had a mother with an extremely dark side and I still struggle to not blame myself for things that have happened throughout our lives.

]]> By: Lisa http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-10951 Lisa Sun, 12 Jul 2009 19:52:31 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-10951 Thank you so much for the Marilyn quote. It brought me to tears. Some very needed shedding of some very heavy tears. I am fairly new at this single mom gig and learning as I go along. Not dating yet but looking forward to being in love with someone deserving of my best... and strong and compassionate enough for my 'worst.' So happy to have found this blog. It definitely helps me feel less alone. ♥♥♥ Thank you so much for the Marilyn quote. It brought me to tears. Some very needed shedding of some very heavy tears. I am fairly new at this single mom gig and learning as I go along. Not dating yet but looking forward to being in love with someone deserving of my best… and strong and compassionate enough for my 'worst.' So happy to have found this blog. It definitely helps me feel less alone.
♥♥♥

]]> By: Cyndi http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-10870 Cyndi Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:17:16 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-10870 Honesty is the best policy in any relationship, even if that means that not everyone feels warm and fuzzy. Their feelings aren't your responsibility, only yours are. I'm not suggesting we should all fly off the handle and start yelling at whoever happens to be in the room every time we experience a negative emotion. What I am suggesting is that after a lifetime of stuffing my own feelings, making sure everyone else felt warm and fuzzy and completely losing "me", it all came back to haunt me. Be honest but calm. We all have a dark side. Great post! Honesty is the best policy in any relationship, even if that means that not everyone feels warm and fuzzy. Their feelings aren't your responsibility, only yours are. I'm not suggesting we should all fly off the handle and start yelling at whoever happens to be in the room every time we experience a negative emotion. What I am suggesting is that after a lifetime of stuffing my own feelings, making sure everyone else felt warm and fuzzy and completely losing "me", it all came back to haunt me. Be honest but calm. We all have a dark side. Great post!

]]> By: When you know http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-10869 When you know Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:08:21 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-10869 [...] comments to my Dark Side post have been so insightful and [...] [...] comments to my Dark Side post have been so insightful and [...]

]]> By: Jessica http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-10867 Jessica Wed, 08 Jul 2009 00:20:47 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-10867 This is an awesome post ... don't have anything to add, just had to say that. And the comments just add to the whole thing. I am amazed at how much I can relate. Thanks to everyone for sharing. This is an awesome post … don't have anything to add, just had to say that. And the comments just add to the whole thing. I am amazed at how much I can relate. Thanks to everyone for sharing.

]]> By: mssinglemama http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-10861 mssinglemama Tue, 07 Jul 2009 12:04:06 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-10861 This is so beautiful. Thank you, really, you all have no idea how much these comments have helped me. I also called my therapist because I have health insurance again and will be going next week. <br /><br />Thanks again and I'm so happy for you... here's to those masks coming off! This is so beautiful. Thank you, really, you all have no idea how much these comments have helped me. I also called my therapist because I have health insurance again and will be going next week.

Thanks again and I'm so happy for you… here's to those masks coming off!

]]> By: Kathleen http://mssinglemama.com/2009/06/30/my-dark-side/#comment-10860 Kathleen Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:24:36 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=3903#comment-10860 continued... I want my son to go out into the world knowing that being part of a couple means being a sheltering tree for each other. That when love makes a family, you are on sacred ground. As his mother, I have no choice but to be the example. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, I don't know if this work ever ends because we are human and so often our best intentions run up against the reality of everday stressors. The reward is being married for over 20 years and finding no safer space than with each other. The reward is that everytime we think we truly know each other, another mask comes off. I didn't know I could be this naked. It's a gift, this binding of my life with another, and then to our chid, that has set me free. continued…

I want my son to go out into the world knowing that being part of a couple means being a sheltering tree for each other. That when love makes a family, you are on sacred ground. As his mother, I have no choice but to be the example. It's the hardest thing I've ever done, I don't know if this work ever ends because we are human and so often our best intentions run up against the reality of everday stressors.

The reward is being married for over 20 years and finding no safer space than with each other. The reward is that everytime we think we truly know each other, another mask comes off. I didn't know I could be this naked. It's a gift, this binding of my life with another, and then to our chid, that has set me free.

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