On quitting your day job.

by mssinglemama on May 31, 2009

This morning I woke up before Benjamin, wondering…

The sun light fell on my face, peeking through my dark bamboo blinds – my blinds in my room. I enjoyed the silence and basked in the thought that tomorrow I would be reporting to myself, no one else. Then I wondered how I got here. I am not unique. I am not special. I may be driven and tireless but each of us has this power – the power to change our circumstances or surroundings if we set our mind in that direction.

Just two years ago I was plotting an escape from my marriage, not knowing if or when I’d have my own bedroom again. Leaving my husband took guts – some say – but to me it just seemed like a survival mechanism. That’s exactly how I feel now. There are things happening out there in this big vast space we call the World Wide Web and sometimes you can move through those waters faster solo. And besides…

It’s every mother’s dream to not have to answer to anyone but her children, so I’m chasing it.

I may fall on my face but this feeling, it feels just as terrifying as leaving your husband but equally liberating. And if I could do that, if I could survive one year at my mom’s with a newborn and no money, I can survive this – with a huge smile on my face. I have a chance, a chance that I’ve afforded myself after years of paying down debt and saving and if it doesn’t work, if I fail — I’ll find another job.

No big deal.

Nothing in comparison to what I’ve been through. 

First things first. 

After Benjamin woke up he watched a movie while I started cleaning (like a crazy woman) and then he joined me…

benjamin-cleaning

we didn’t stop until every last room had been scrubbed down and organized (relatively speaking) because trading this desk

work-desk

for this desk

home-office

means I have to keep everything spic and span so I can concentrate.

But it also means we can take breaks during our work day to practice our mad graffiti skills…

img_6127

or take naps because my new office also has a couch. 

home-office-1

Hoo rah, baby. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Naps on demand.

No, seriously – there will be some napping, but not many… I will be working my ass off to make this happen. But it will. be. so. much. fun. 

Tomorrow my schedule is already packed. One thing on the list – packing up an shipping out all of your necklaces, there are less than 15 remaining. I can order more if we run out, it will just take longer for you to get them in your beautiful, hopeful hands. Bring on the hope! We need as much as we can get, right?

xoxo

Wish me luck on my first day at my new job!

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{ 6 trackbacks }

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{ 35 comments… read them below or add one }

Lucy June 1, 2009 at 2:16 am

good luck on your first day,i must say u have guts to go and quit ur job.But only u know what is best and only u can listen to ur gut instincts :)

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Lucy June 1, 2009 at 2:18 am

BTW…i know u have probably heard it many times before….your son is adorable! I can picture him in his teens with the chicks calling him wanting a date :)

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amy June 1, 2009 at 2:32 am

Hooray and good on you for chasing your dream!

Click, click.. that is the sound of me clicking on your very interesting ads :) All the best MSM!

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Canadian Bald Guy June 1, 2009 at 2:35 am

I absolutely wish you all the best in this new venture of yours. Scary…exciting…empowering. As I've stated before, if any blogger can make a go of this full-time…it's you!

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abrookshire June 1, 2009 at 2:44 am

Good luck and congrats on starting your new job as your own boss!!!

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Lindsey June 1, 2009 at 2:48 am

Sounds like you're at the start of something great. Good luck!
Looking forward to getting my necklace!!

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Bobbi Janay June 1, 2009 at 3:03 am

First of all love your purse. Second of all best of luck with your new adventure in life.

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Erin June 1, 2009 at 3:42 am

Good luck!! I wish you all the best in this new adventure!

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Steph June 1, 2009 at 5:31 am

Good luck on this new adventure! I left my ex husband a week after my daughter was born and when faced with a difficult task I remember the strength I had and then the task is oh so much easier!

You have done great things and WILL do so much more! Your on your way and I am so honored to have a peak in.

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WineCountryMom June 1, 2009 at 5:43 am

I am soooo jealous! And happy for you! This is a dream come true for anyone. Good luck in making this a successful endeavor (you know you will). I am truly inspired by you.

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Sheila June 1, 2009 at 6:34 am

I do admire you for taking this huge step. It's that first step that is the scariest, but at some point in the future, you'll look back and will be so happy you did what you did. Good luck!

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expatsinglemama June 1, 2009 at 7:03 am

You need a boss like hey! OMG I totally hate you. Because YOU ROCK! Hey, could you have that memo on my desk by 9:30? PSYCH! Okay, can you tell I just had a sugary bowl of cereal? On the real, congratu-atu-lations and I will totally think of you when I'm slumped over my desk at 8 a.m.

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wyliekat June 1, 2009 at 1:54 pm

You have my wishes. Most definitely.

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Heidi June 1, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Congratulations! I so admire you. Sending you good vibes for success!

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Christy June 1, 2009 at 2:56 pm

This is awesome–and you will be GREAT!

We just went through something like this…we recently moved back to NH after going to Ohio (oddly enough) for a business opportunity. My husband had gone into a partnership with a couple of guys there and long story short, it didn't work out. Things were not as they seemed–it was awful and he was miserable for almost 4 years. Finally we decided that he needed to leave and he started his own business (with a customer base that brought us back to New England and our family & friends.) I'd be lying if I said it's not scary. I'd be lying if I told you I don't freak out sometimes–we have 2 kids and a house to sell in Ohio and we moved 1/2 way across the country w/o a reliable source of income for the time being! But we also have a lot of freedom and my husband isn't miserable anymore; and I'll take the scariness for the happiness that it affords us.
You know what's right when you listen to yourself…it'll all work out! Congratulations & cheers!

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Lori June 1, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Youuuu can doooo eeeeetttt. Have a great first day = )

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Jen June 1, 2009 at 2:59 pm

I'm right there with you, having done both the husband leaving and starting a freelance business… starting over is so scary, but feeling free and in control of your choices makes it so worth it! Good luck!!

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Mz Mami June 1, 2009 at 3:00 pm

hope you're having a super great 1st day… this is very inspiring maybe in 5 years i could be doing the same thing. *sigh* a home office… :) naps and breaks. breaks with your child! that will be great. perfect timing too with the summer coming up. knowing me, 1 hour breaks would turn into 3…lol..i'm sur eyou will do great and stay motivated (that seems to be a natural trait of yours).

so i will be ordering a necklace RIGHT NOW. last time u twittered it was at 10..

ps benjamin is just tooo adorable! what a great little oven cleaner!

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Making Progress June 1, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Best of luck with the new venture! Anything is possible when you put your mind to eat it. This is only a step in the right direction. I aspire to do the same some day in the future.

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Sharon McMillan June 1, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Oh I am so happy for you!! I discovered your blog yesterday and appreciate you sharing your experience because your voice and spirit speaks to so many women (single or married). . I didn't see the "quit my job" post until today and I'm grinning and doing the happy dance for you :) I straddle both worlds (like a lot of folks who work in PR) but what you said about the WWW is so true – in 2007 I discovered the power of it and pushed my own business up into high gear. Okay, like Mz Mami above I'm off to go look at your necklaces!

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Saba June 1, 2009 at 3:34 pm

Congrats! Follow your heart!
Btw – I would love the leaf necklace in silver!

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Katherine SOLOdotMOM June 1, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Hope it's a great new day…. with so many hopes for taking your dream to the next level!

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Tina June 1, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Good luck! You can do it, you ARE doing it!!!
I totally feel you on having to clean first in order to be able to concentrate. Ahhhh, a clean place is almost as good as a fresh notebook.

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Susan June 1, 2009 at 5:50 pm

Congratulations and best of luck. I'm a bit envious I can't do the same (yet), but I give you a major thumbs up for pursuing this chance while you have it.

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Heather June 1, 2009 at 5:58 pm

What a dream come true! I'm working my butt off for the same thing. All I want is to be able to support my daughter on my own and not have to answer to anybody!! Thank you for your blog.

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noringsattached June 1, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Good Luck!!! I'm sure everything will be fabulous!!!! Can't wait to get my necklace!

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MommaSunshine June 1, 2009 at 7:48 pm

Good luck, Alaina! I wish you all the best. I would love to be doing the same sometime in the future…. :)

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junctionmama June 2, 2009 at 1:19 am

Yay!
Not only are you an inspiration to single moms everywhere Alaina, but you are also proof that determination, creativity and hard work can get you out of any mess and into anything you're passionate about.

You rock mama!

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notasoccermom June 2, 2009 at 1:31 am

Doing what we all wish we dared…good luck to you and I know you will pull this off.
Cant wait to get my necklace

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Irishmom June 2, 2009 at 2:32 am

Awesome and good for you! Your courage will be rewarded. I feel that I am on the verge of something similar now that the fog of grief has lifted somewhat. I hope that I can once again become the courageous woman I used to be, some twelve years ago. I hope that I can take leaps of faith like the one you have. I know it's in me. And in the meanwhile, I wish you only the best, in this, your new journey. : )

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jfo June 4, 2009 at 1:49 am

OMG, we need to catch up!! Hurray hurray hurray for you!!!! This is so exciting to read about. The awesomeness will far far outweigh the terror, I assure you! This is spectactular news.

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Jennifer Laycock June 4, 2009 at 7:11 pm

Seems funny to me that as you're leaving life as a "work in the office" single mama and heading home, I'm leaving life as a 'work from the couch" single mom and heading back to an office. Granted, I only go in about 4 days a week for 4-5 hours a day…but still. Interesting.

I wish you the best of luck. Working from home as a single mom is both terrifying (because it's ALL on you) and rewarding (because you don't miss those priceless moments) but if anyone gets what it's like to have it "all on you" it's a single mom.

Good luck!

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Nico June 4, 2009 at 8:37 pm

i've been on the job-free train for about six weeks now and i cannot believe how my life has improved. still looking for the right combo of writing and editing gigs to make it all happen — but you are are so right when you say that if i fail, i can just get another j-o-b. though with the idyllic feeling i get every day now, that would be really hard to go back to!

o and it's funny that you totally cleaned up the spot on your first day self-employed. i did the same thing. and i also treat my whole home differently now — like i have to respect the space more and so do the other people who come in and out of it as roommates and guests. this is now not just my sanctuary i fall apart in at the end of the day, its the place for both inspiration, reflection and sanctuary!

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Nikki June 5, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Good luck!

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Jojo'sMama June 10, 2009 at 10:52 pm

I'm a little late in the post, but thats a good one… Good For You!

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