by mssinglemama on May 26, 2009

I announced last week that I’m leaving my day job to become a full-time blogger/freelancer. 

I also announced the sale of our  new leaf necklace

There are only 40 left. 

I will be ordering another round so don’t worry about them running out. And I’ll also try to make them in silver. Ideally I’d like to, one day, offer them in real gold and silver – or maybe even platinum. But until then our little necklace will do just fine.

I started this blog nearly two years ago on a lonely night in my apartment with a glass of wine in hand and an idea… to share my story so that other single moms wouldn’t repeat my mistakes, whatever they may be. 

In all of that time, in all of the stories I’ve told and the comments I’ve read I don’t think I’ve ever actually been moved to tears – until now… your support in the comments of this post and this post got me good. I can’t say thank you enough. 

Now onwards and upwards… to a little story from this weekend. 


On Memorial Day Benjamin and I went to the only beach we could find. Determined to get him to water and sand we drove one hour to get there.


We’re sitting on the same beach my father used to take us when we were kids (and look, there’s the necklace too)… anyway the beach is still exactly the same, but much, much more crowded.

On the way there Benjamin had asked me a question he’s been repeating a lot lately, “Mommy, where is your daddy.”

“He’s gone, baby.”

“What do you mean?” 

“He’s not here any more.”

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.  I decided to just tell him, given the fact that it was Memorial Day and all and given the fact that he really wouldn’t understand anyway and also given the fact that he just kept asking. 

“He died, Benjamin, he’s gone but he is still here and he loves you very, very much.”

“He died?” he asks me shocked and then, “Did a bad guy kill him?”

“No. Not really.”

“Yes, a bad guy killed him Mommy, bad guy.”

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

“Okay. You’re right, a bad guy killed him and his name is Cancer.”

“No, he got killed by the Green Eyed Man, Mommy.”

“Yeah, the bad guy from Bolt. Sure Benjamin, sounds good.”

A few minutes later we were on the beach with it’s grainy sand. I dove into the water expecting to feel the clay mushing between my toes like I did when I was a kid. I couldn’t stay in long enough to find the clay because Benjamin was freaking out back on the beach, “Come back, Mommy!!!! Come back.” 

I had actually told him to watch our stuff so I could take a swim. 

Back on the towel about an hour later and right before we started digging a giant hole with our make shift beach toys


Benjamin told me he had to go pee. 

Unable to leave all of our stuff and knowing we wouldn’t make it as far as the nearest potty anyway, I told him to run to the water. I expected him to just know he should take a quick swim and pretend like he was doing something else. 

But why would a three-year-old know to do that? Why would he know beach etiquette? He wouldn’t. Instead he pulled down his pants and then heard his mommy shouting, “Nooooooooo.” 


But he had to keep going.


To the shock and awe of all of the people with a clear view of his naked self  but to the pure delight of all of the fathers on the beach. All of them were laughing their bellies off which means my dad would have been laughing too – laughing at this boy, who despite the fact that there isn’t a man around all of the time is every bit of a mini-man.

Somehow you just can’t mess that part up.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Single Moms Believe
June 11, 2009 at 6:34 pm
June 18, 2009 at 8:16 pm

{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

Irishmom May 26, 2009 at 12:00 pm

Man, that was hysterical! And yes, my son did the same thing on the beach a few years back. (He's six now, and still does it unabashedly in the yard though, in front of the neighbours!). He is too beautiful, seriously and your post was very touching. I'm sure your Dad is laughing up above! 🙂


Victoria May 26, 2009 at 12:13 pm

That's too much!! FWIW, I would have been laughing, too, because even at 38, I'm an incorrigible pee-in-the-water girl when I'm at the beach 🙂

Your father must have been so proud {hugs}


jen_k_ May 26, 2009 at 12:52 pm

I sobbed and giggled in the same 60 seconds. Best. xo


uberlibrarian May 26, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Thank you for that early morning laugh! How cute!


~kris~ May 26, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Let's see . . . .

Green Eyed Man – check. He is a constant with my nearly 4 year old. Sometimes I use the Green Eyed Man as a tactic to keep him in bed. Mean, I know but hey us Mommas gotta do what works and what helps to preserve our sanity!

Peeing in public – check! We went to a state park this weekend. We were at a tiny little playground surrounded by woods. Our nearly 2 year old was swinging with Daddy pushing her and Mommy taking pictures. We watched as Jake was playing on a wooden walkway – I looked away and then looked back to see his completely naked bottom b/c just like Benjamin his pants are down around his ankles peeing where he probably shouldn't have been with 40 people within eyeshot. We live in the woods and he's welcome to go outside if he has too but these woods are different! I hustled over and tried to stand strategically so everyone couldn't see his business – of course he thought I was crazy!!


J-Fo May 26, 2009 at 1:37 pm

This is awesome. Absolutely awesome.


Nakia May 26, 2009 at 1:47 pm

That is hilarious! Go Benjamin. 🙂


TsQuest May 26, 2009 at 1:49 pm

What an awesome story!!! I'm giggling over here.

And I love that you documented it. Hee hee!


Saba May 26, 2009 at 2:33 pm



Danielle May 26, 2009 at 2:42 pm

Oh, his future wife is going to love that picture someday. That is a classic. Thanks for the Monday/Tuesday morning laugh.


Erin May 26, 2009 at 2:50 pm

What a great story! I'm also glad that you started this blog that lonely night in your apartment. It has done me a world of good as well. Take care!


abrookshire May 26, 2009 at 3:13 pm

HILARIOUS!!!! I love it!

I looked around the other day at my parents house to find Ty "Watering" one of my mom's flowers in much the same way!! The things little boys do!!!

I'm still in love with the necklace…..


Margaret from NM May 26, 2009 at 5:41 pm

LOL! Boys! That is the funniest thing I think I have ever seen or heard 🙂 I am glad you guys had a fun day at the beach for the long weekend! Congrats and good luck on your decision.


Amber May 26, 2009 at 5:46 pm

OMG! I am seriously laughing to the point of tears. That is too funny for words. LOL. He is truely boy. No worries there.

My dainty little "princess" of a 2 year old came to a memorial day picnic with my new (new to her….5 months) manfriend and his family. They are good people, a little ritzy, a lot loaded with $$. Well at the dinner table that was pretty much silent, my daughter ripped ass and said "HAHA I farted!" After turning 10 shades of red and apologizing profusely I realized that everyone was laughing. Oh the things kiddos do.


piscehanna May 26, 2009 at 6:13 pm

So excited about everything that's been changing and evolving in your life. Can't wait to see where you'll be by the end of summer! You and Benjamin, the dynamic duo… 🙂 Thanks for being such a positive role model for the world to see. Single moms rock!


Sheila May 26, 2009 at 6:17 pm

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is HILARIOUS!


Becca May 26, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Ha these are great! i love him trying to cover himself up in the one photo! That's too funny! Did Ford approve of your video yet? I really want to see how much fun you had traveling and of course to see the Bear!


Andrea May 26, 2009 at 6:40 pm

jaja, loved it. I have to start potty training and the view of Benjamin would help a lot. Last week he saw a kid peeing in the park, and inmediatly ask me for his own underwear! I want to go to the beach too! and I didn´t thought the fact that nobody will watch our stuff will my baby explores an I watch him! I will just have to go with the bikini and the sun protector! Not bad.


NewSingleMama May 26, 2009 at 6:46 pm

LMAO! Oh no. I was not expecting the butt pic pee. I thought like you, he'd probably some how know to run into the water. So fun! Little boys seem like a blast!


Krystyn May 26, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Oh, I SO want a necklace, but in silver. I never wear any gold. Hope you have them soon!!


christine May 26, 2009 at 6:50 pm

haha, OMG that is awesome. boys!


Krystyn May 26, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Oh and somehow I missed reading the beach part of your post – that is absolutely hilarious!! I can see my son doing that in a couple years.


misscriss0830 May 26, 2009 at 7:57 pm

Ahahahahaha! Great job Benjamin! (note…never ever pee INTO the wind. I saw my brother make that mistake once and i wasnt good!)



jeffra May 26, 2009 at 8:07 pm

that is hilarious! Go mini-man! You better buy him an ice cream or something for giving you the best content on your blog! Keeps me coming back for more…not that I wouldn't come back for your comedic efforts of your own( he must be your son) but…he is pretty awesome!


Canadian Bald Guy May 26, 2009 at 8:39 pm

HA!! I have to admit…as shocked as I would have been at the exact same situation, I also would have been secretly the proudest papa there! That's hilarious.


Podugu January 28, 2015 at 2:20 am

Simone: tusind tak skal du have! synes ogsaa at den har en ritigg smuk farve gul :-)Julia: Tak skal du have! og jo den er jeg med paa, skriver lige til dig paa din blog 🙂 xxHelene


Rebecca K. May 26, 2009 at 9:24 pm

A belated congrats on becoming a Full Time blogger … I'm totally rooting for you. Here's some tips on how to manage freelance income … i love this PF blogger … check it out:


junctionmama May 26, 2009 at 10:45 pm

What a cute story!

Thank YOU for continuing to be a source of inspiration for this new single mama.


Abby Carter May 27, 2009 at 12:56 am

My daughter, during her potty training days was all excited when she found a little potty at IKEA. I let her hold it and went back to browsing, and when I turned around, she was using it, right there in the middle of IKEA. WISH I had pics of that one!

Tough going through the "gone" explanation. You will be going through it many times as you will need to do it again and again, each time he moves through new cognitive understanding. There will be some pretty amazing discussions though, of that I have no doubt.


Caloden May 27, 2009 at 4:10 am

It's a fabulous age for public urination. My four year-old drops trousers whenever he is able. It passes all too soon.


30somethingmama May 27, 2009 at 9:58 am

hilarious peeing incident alaina. 🙂 we all have those hide-my-face-in-the-dirt moments.

congrats on your decision to go freelance, welcome to my world! hehehe. scary but liberating, i tell you. anytime you have doubts about ur career change, message me. tc!


Ms. Single Mama May 27, 2009 at 12:15 pm

You guys are cracking me the hell up. I love the farting at the table story… Benjamin is just now starting to do that as well – farting and laughing at himself.


Katherine SOLOdotMOM May 27, 2009 at 12:45 pm

What a great story! LOL


MindyMom May 27, 2009 at 1:56 pm

OMG, and you got the pic to haunt him with later in life! Hilarious.

BTW, I'm just catching up here. I love the necklace. Really, great design and symbolism. What a bold move too to quit your job too! I hope it works out well for you.


phoenix May 27, 2009 at 2:41 pm

When asked what he did while spending a week with his grandma and uncles, my son, then age 4, replied "Uncle Jeff taught to pee in the weeds!' And successfully, too because 2 weeks later in Eden Park in Cincinnati – full of Sunday visitors – he peed into the blooming daffodil beds!


Lori May 27, 2009 at 4:39 pm

Thanks for that laugh. I NEEDED that. = ) Strouds Run? Anyways…. glad you had a good time at the Beach. And the saying Boys will be boys. Dead on.


Julie Castell May 27, 2009 at 10:51 pm

Love sweet Benjamin! It shows great creativity that he chose to pee in the ocean. This is a story and a couple pics I will long remember!


Dawn May 28, 2009 at 6:31 am

LOL Love it! Brooke kept announcing it at the beach when I told her to just pee in the water. She yelled it…"PEE IN THE WATER MOMMY??" Ugh! Anyways…It's official, I can't make it this weekend. Hopefully you will have a necklace left in July because I do want one…REAL bad! And hopefully there is another playdate in the future. Keep up the laughs and smiles Alaina! You are an awesome woman!


Jose January 28, 2015 at 12:27 pm

Rigtig fint outfit! Er vild med den gule sag :)Jeg te6nkte pe5, om du var ieetrnsseret i en blogroll aftale? Bare leave a comment, hvis du er ieetrnsseret!


Heidi May 28, 2009 at 9:05 pm

OMG, I laughed so hard I cried! I've been a lurker and reading your blog for awhile, but I had to comment on this one. I have two boys (ages 5 and 8), and this is such a boy thing. Thans for sharing your beach story. 🙂


kaylen May 29, 2009 at 7:10 pm

LOVE the peebody pics!! Those are memories to cherish! 🙂


robinmetze metze June 18, 2009 at 6:33 pm

hi there… the pics are great.. single mom is not easy..


Marcos January 29, 2015 at 3:35 am

today we had a very creative talk with our gaphric designer regarding signs! We are thinking to put our signs on the window shutters of the stores, so everytime we open them, the signs wil go up and every time we shut them they will go down! Like a moving puzzle! Isn’t it brilliant? I wish I have money to do that in our new store!


Ashely Carter March 29, 2013 at 12:32 pm

Girls (sigh)


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