The non-date, that wasn’t

by mssinglemama on May 19, 2009

We picked a pizza and wine shop for our networking dinner. Or was it a date?

I wasn’t sure. Our e-mails had been borderline flirtatious all week and there was definitely some initial chemistry when we met. Those eyes of his… 

We had originally planned on having lunch after meeting at my presentation but I decided, having so much in common professionally, that we would need more than an hour.

“How about dinner and drinks instead?” I e-mailed him.

“Sure, when and where?”

“There’s a pizza and wine shop just down the street from my place. Sound good?”

“Perfect I live just around the corner.”

We were neighbors. Awesome.

I ran straight from work directly to my “maybe it’s a date.”My hair was a mess, my make up all but gone and my nerves still wound up from a long day that began with my ex-husband stopping by to pick up Benjamin. Although typically uneventful, it has always been odd to me that long before I even go to work I’m meeting my ex-husband for a nice morning hand off. This means waking up early, cleaning up the apartment, getting Benjamin’s bag ready. 

By the time dates usually begin I’m beyond spent.

I walked in with zero expectations and was just excited to geek out with this guy who approached me after my SEO and presentation and said, “that was remarkable, really, truly remarkable. We really think the same way about this stuff.”

This means a lot to us web geeks because there are varying degrees of expertise, tactics and yada yada – I could be boring you so I’ll stop – but it’s as if we are both doctors and we both hate antibiotics. Something to that effect.  

Soon I found out we both went to Ohio University, in my hometown – Athens, Ohio – the magical little spot on the planet with its brick streets and lush hills that owns a piece of my soul.

“I want to move back there some day.” I said. Typically this statement is taken with a mixture of shock and awe and an “are you crazy?” 

“Really? Me too. That’s so weird. I love that place,” he said with his sweet, soft smile. 

Time was slipping by and soon we weren’t talking about geek stuff at all. When I tried to pick up the check he wouldn’t let me near it.

“Okay, I’ll buy drinks at the next place – assuming you want to hang out a little longer,” I said.

“Are you kidding me? Of course I do.”

It was at the bar and a few drinks later that the real flirting started.

“You’re just dying to kiss me, aren’t you?” I asked.

“Oh my God. Is it that obvious?”

“What about right here then?”

“In the bar?”

“Sure. Why not? Who cares. But not yet. I’m not ready yet.”

I sat there blushing and fidgeting. My own confidence shocking me. I talked the talk but I wasn’t ready just yet. And then a few minutes later – I can’t remember if I said anything or if he just did it but  he leaned across the table, held my face in his hands and kissed me.

Usually a first kiss is a bit awkward. Fumbles and such, I’ll spare you the details, but you know what I mean.

But not this one. No.

It was divine. 

To be continued…

{ 3 trackbacks }

The beginning.
May 23, 2009 at 5:38 pm
Lion Share
July 31, 2009 at 5:49 am
One Year
April 28, 2010 at 1:33 pm

{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

linda May 19, 2009 at 9:56 pm

Ohhhh youre killing me here…with this cont'd crap ! lol soooo sweet !!


Sheila May 19, 2009 at 10:10 pm

That's just plain old awesome. 🙂 The stars were aligned for this one.


Canadian Bald Guy May 19, 2009 at 10:50 pm

That's an AWESOME beginning, Alaina. Very VERY happy to know your bear knows how to treat his Single Mama on the first date.


notasoccermom May 20, 2009 at 12:06 am

Oh my god! exactly what I thought didnt exist anymore… You are my hero and my hope!
I am soo happy for you!!


Patty May 20, 2009 at 12:21 am

OMG I love this!! I am so happy for you! I can't wait to read more!


jen May 20, 2009 at 12:21 am



Irishmom May 20, 2009 at 12:35 am

But, sometimes there is literally no time for myself and that is not always good for my own self-esteem or energy. Twice a month weekend handoffs are the same – I do their laundry, pack up their stuff, make sure they have their stuffed animals, suncreen, sports clothes, books and toys and then feel ready to collaspe! No wonder men are dating way quicker than women (at least the ones who don't have full time custody) – I am overwhelmed most of the time! I also spend too much time missing them – which I know will ease with time. It's just too quiet to relax when they're not here – now that sounds totally contradictory doesn't it – but you'll know what I mean. LOL – you got me started! 🙂


MamaJennifer May 20, 2009 at 1:24 pm

My ex has a whole set of "stuff" at his house for my kids. At first I thought it was kind of weird – them having to wear clothes that weren't really "theirs" but they don't seem to mind and it IS much easier. When he picks them up they take their cell phone so they can call me and that's it. No packing or anything. Maybe this would help? It works for us.


mssinglemama May 21, 2009 at 7:21 pm

I felt this way as well for the longest time. I couldn't even relax when he was away… actually, what the hey am I saying? I still can't.

SO hard to relax because I never get a chance to… thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.


mommybella January 7, 2010 at 4:23 pm

ohhhhhhhh…. I’m exactly the same. I pack my son’s things up and send him off and find myself in tears because I miss and worry about him. I always wonder to myself… what kind of man would want my mess??? those part time fathers have it so easy, but I would not want it to change. I would rather bust my butt than to have my ex have my baby more! Dating is a nightmare!


MommaSunshine May 20, 2009 at 12:39 am

Sounds awesome.

And you're a HUGE tease. 😉


Anna May 20, 2009 at 12:45 am

UGH! I want to hear the rest NOW! 🙂


Irishmom May 20, 2009 at 12:47 am

OK, I apologise Alaina, what I really meant to say was AWESOME and I am SO HAPPY for you. I'll shut up now! 🙂


jenniB May 20, 2009 at 1:30 am

This is like Pioneer Woman!!!!!!

Except not the pioneer part.


TsQuest May 20, 2009 at 1:39 am

Wow. How much more perfect can that get?


Janet May 20, 2009 at 1:56 am

AHHHH!!!!!!!!! So excited!


Abby Carter May 20, 2009 at 2:21 am

Its like a Soap Opera… but good.


Wind2Energy May 20, 2009 at 2:24 am

Isn't anyone going to ask the most important question? "So, how was the pizza?"
Women blog commenters have no sense of priorities! W2E


Amber Warren May 20, 2009 at 3:26 am

I just found your blog and I love it. Your style is easy to read and addicting. I'll add you to my list! Oh, and good luck with Mr. Ohio Hottie Pizza…..


Susan May 20, 2009 at 3:42 am

Whoa. I've been married 17 years. I vaguely remember what this flirting was like. I think I'll just bask in your flirtations and dates, how's that?

Over at "RaisinToast"


Nakia May 20, 2009 at 4:14 am

I'm living vicariously through you right now. Can't wait til the next installment.


Irishmom May 20, 2009 at 12:36 am

c'mon that is torture for us. Like a romance novel that you are reading, only to discover that half the pages are missing ……. I also relate (very well) to the getting organised for the trip to Dad part – my soon to be ex picks mine up at 5pm once a week and has them back by 7.45pm when I get to put them to bed. Not much chance of getting out and doing something interesting in that time period is there? 🙁 Of course at that point, I've battled the homework wars, fed them and sometimes bathed them. Exhausted doesn't even describe it. It is full time, even WITH visitation and I always feel I get the short end of the stick. That said, I would NEVER have it any other way – I love them and am happy they get the majority of time with me..


Big Bill March 12, 2010 at 7:06 am

I can imagine how hard it is, especially for a South African ex-pat. My mother (now 83) grew up down south when cheap colored servants were easy to come by and she never adjusted to doing housework. She was raised to do artsy Junior League type things and never adjusted to having to cook and clean for her family. Pity my father couldn’t make more money to keep a colored servant or two around. But you, coming from Africa where servants are a dime a dozen, then moving to America, AN?D losing the male’s income that would help support that lifestyle, well, I can must imagine the shock! For my mother it was shock enough moving from Alabama to Illinois (where there is no cheap colored help at all!). But to move across the globe? Wow! I am surprised you can keep going cooking and cleaning and taking care of your kids without collapsing.


Jen May 20, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I totally know what you mean about the awkward first kiss… and how amazing it is when it isn't!!


mom2threeinmd May 20, 2009 at 2:17 pm

WOW, way too many things in common already … I have a GREAT feeling about this one!!


Lori May 20, 2009 at 3:05 pm

First, way to leave us wanting more, tease = P Second, I love that you love Athens. And that you're from there. Third, if you do move back I'm inviting you bring Benjamin to Skyline Speedway out in Stuart. My fiance and K's dad races out there… ever been? It's only a few minutes outside of Athens.


littlemansmom May 20, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Hmmmmmm……that's all I'm sayin'….just, hmmmmmmmmmmm 😉 😉 😉


Notesfromthegrove May 20, 2009 at 3:56 pm

Ooooh goody-goody! Can't wait to read more…when you're ready of course ;o)


Katherine SOLOdotMOM May 20, 2009 at 4:34 pm

OOOOOOH! wow… and then…. ?


mssinglemama May 21, 2009 at 1:27 pm

You'll have to be patient… ; ) Sorry I'm SUCH a tease.


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MoodyFingers May 20, 2009 at 4:47 pm

This is great! 🙂 I love the confidence you exude! Congrats to you and may the happiness and butterflies continue! 🙂 You're a true inspiration! 🙂


Margaret from NM May 20, 2009 at 4:57 pm

Wow! That sounds amazing!! I am getting the tummy flutters for you 🙂 GL!


30somethingmama May 20, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Woah! Fun! The spontaneous meet-ups , always end up the best way!

can't wait to hear more. way to go alaina! 🙂


wyliekat May 20, 2009 at 8:34 pm

Sistah, you're just cruel.



Dede May 20, 2009 at 9:38 pm

That is so great!! Cannot wait to hear more. I am so happy that you showed so much confidence. Men LOVE that!!


movin down the road May 21, 2009 at 6:11 pm



bsmommy99 May 22, 2009 at 1:09 pm

More please. 🙂


KatieJo May 24, 2009 at 4:58 am

I love it! I love flirtaeous, confident, single moms! We need affection too, go and get it, girl! 🙂


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