The dating front

by mssinglemama on May 4, 2009

I’ve met a bear.

It’s quite ironic actually because after I wrote about the tiger and the lion, a bear showed up. What’s even odder is that so many of you had commented telling me only a bear would do. And I sat here reading those comments, wondering – perplexed. Why the bear? What’s with this bear thing?

And then he surfaced with his crystal blue eyes, soft smile and then his big bear hug. So clearly not a lion or a tiger, the bear is as you all said – comfortable, strong, delightfully funny, intelligent, patient and respectful of all of my boundaries (emotional and physical). And he calls me. On. The. Gasp. Phone.

It’s too early to tell much of anything, except for the teeny tiny fact that the bear has potential.

Dating is always fun for me, easy almost, until I bump into someone who is really there, someone I may actually want to keep around, someone who wants to keep me around… someone I can see myself with. Then fun typically turns into something more intense, something that sends me into a soft panic. Of how and why. But so far, there will be none of that.

This time I’m ready. And I’m going to enjoy him, not fear him.


Another single mama bites the bullet.

Tracy of a Brand New Day, Tracy of One of My First Single Mama Blogging Friends, is now engaged. I can’t even tell you how odd it is to sit here and watch the single mamas all fall. Mommy Pie, Morgan and now Tracy. Fall in a good way… I mean fall into love land when they least expected it or wanted it. That, is the trick, it appears.

So go check out Tracy’s blog for her proposal story. I know you love those. The best part? Her big man asked her little man for permission. Wow.


Sometimes it’s a good thing when you receive an errant text…

meant for another girl with a name very much like yours.

“Drinks with you went much better than expected :  ) im glad we met up tonite!”

And suddenly you realize why your perfectly dateable, totally attractive, single dad friend is still single.

He can’t text girls worth a shit.

This is not the good thing. The good thing is that I can help him.

So I text back:

“Wrong girl!!!! Haaaaaaa. And never text a :  )  to a girl again. You need texting lessons!”

I called him and gave him the some tips, the first being not to text a girl seconds after you’ve parted ways. Let her wonder a bit. And yeah, the smiley face from a guy – not so much.

After my divorce I realized quickly the world of dating had changed thanks to text messaging. I soon discovered that many guys, especially the younger ones, actually ask you out on dates via text and sometimes even cancel them via text. At first I balked at all of this but now I’m slipping into the texting camp.

I’m also discovering that a man’s texting style, like his kissing style, can either turn me completely on or off.

Sometimes guys, it’s better to just pick up the phone.

With that said, if it’s a single mom you’re calling be prepared for the sound of her three-year-old in the background, “I want to talk! Let me talk.”

Or, “Mommy! Mommy! MOOOOOMMEEEEEE!!!!”

I still can’t even imagine what it must be like to be childless and dating someone with a child. Some of the men, upon hearing my screaming little one in the background, ignore it all together and jump off of the phone.

Others patiently wait while saying, “No problem, take your time.”

I prefer the later, of course, and typically drop the ones who are uncomfortable with the kid factor. One thing nearly as annoying as the sound of a three-year-old begging for attention is a man who can’t handle kids.

Sometimes the benefit of the doubt is in order, but only if he’s not meant for serious things.



It’s taken me SO long to do this. But congratulations to Lindsey Jay  – you won the Dating Topics game, courtesy of

And congratulations to Nydia, Sheila, Margaret from the NM, Angela and Mary – you’ll all be getting a copy of Christine Coppa’s Rattled!

I am still necklace shopping but have one on its way that may be the perfect fit. We all made it together! And I’m SOOOOOOO excited to unveil it here. Hopefully it will be here by Friday. So hang on… keep leaving your feedback until then, everyone who comments has a chance to win that very necklace, or the necklace of their choice.

I’m thinking the winner will want the new necklace though. The first one.

Related posts:

  1. Single Mom Dating Zen: Lions & Tigers
  2. Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 2
  3. Dating Karma
  4. Single Mom Dating Tips, Part 1
  5. The Single Mom Dating Conundrum.

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