Single Mom Friday Zen, V

by mssinglemama on April 17, 2009

The wine had settled too fast. 

I stared at the faces of the men, all looking for someone or something. Declaring that they were “finally ready” for the “right woman.” I let my hand slip off of my mouse, leaned back into my chair and sighed.

What was I doing here? 

A guy I’d been dating had just dropped me cold after I’d become way too clingy, way too fast. 

I didn’t know how to do this – to date, as a mother. I wasn’t ready. 

I traced my finger around the bottom of my wine glass and then decided, in that moment of complete fog to start writing, to share my experiences, to sort it all out. When WordPress.com asked for my User Name, Ms. Single Mama flew through my fingers and on to the screen. I started a story without knowing the end. 

Without realizing that the name didn’t belong to me but to every single mother. 

And while even one year ago my dating life felt like this…

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Now it’s looking more like this. 

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It’s because, in the past year, I’ve learned how to trust again.

How to feel again without regret.

I’ve been learning this by writing so honestly here and through the new friendships I’ve made.

They’re the kind of friends I never imagined I’d have. 

They insist you visit their beautiful city and make you feel welcome before you even step through their door. 

They make you laugh even when they themselves can’t really laugh with you. 

And they buy a plane ticket so they can meet you in Chicago to drive your new car home. 

[That last one is Morgan, aka Modern Single Momma] She has a blog post up today you should read, and there you’ll find the two other friends on my list… so cool to see us all up there.

<pinch pinch>

I’m in love with my friendships.

That’s okay, right? 

One more step to normal, to trusting. I’m getting there. They may be baby steps but if I can form relationships with my friends that will last a life time, doesn’t that mean there’s a chance I could do the same with a man? 

— no prize this week because I just want you to head over to Morgan’s site. Don’t miss her Who’s Who of the Single Parent Blogosphere.–

Related posts:

  1. Single Mom Friday Zen
  2. Single Mom Friday Zen, IV
  3. Single Mom Friday Zen, III
  4. Single Mom Friday Zen, II
  5. How to Date a Single Mom, Part 4

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