Smog

by mssinglemama on April 13, 2009

I woke up wishing I had stayed behind in my dream. 

There was a fire. 

I saw a staircase.

But the rest of the people were running past it for a second staircase, a more crowded staircase – almost impassable.

I chose the empty staircase.

There was someone else ahead of me. A man. But I couldn’t tell who he was. We made it to the bottom and to the scene of a concert, an impromptu concert for a crowd of about 10 or 12. Afterwards I walked up to the woman with the guitar and said, “Happy travels.” 

She was radiating a feeling as warm as her bright hazelnut skin, something everyone wants. She hugged me and told me, “thank you.” There was something about the way she spoke, the way she smiled. She was completely free.

——

Overdue for some relief, I left Benjamin with my mom last night. 

This morning when I finally crawled out bed, trying to hang on to the memories of that dream, I had no idea where the day would take me.

I thought I may be hanging out with one guy but I got a text from another inviting me to a concert by “that guy from Smog.” 

Are you kidding? 

I’ll be there.

And then I was. 

callahan-1

Standing within a few inches of a small stage against one wall of a record store on campus, I couldn’t help but take in the scenery.

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Then he walked by me, brushing my shoulder before sitting down to tune his guitar. 

bill-callahan

A few minutes later he started singing

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the songs from his new, and I believe, his first solo album.

I started out in search of ordinary things 

How much of a tree bends in the wind

I started telling the story without knowing the end

I used to be darker

Then I got lighter

Then I got dark again

Something too big to be seen was passing over and over me. 

I started running when concrete turned to sand

I started running when things didn’t pan out as planned

In case things go poorly and I not return

Remember the good things I done

or done me in.

—–

I have two more nights without Benjamin. I’m trying to remember the last time this happened — and I can’t. In case things go poorly, remember the good things I’ve been. 

This is fun. 

I’m not sure tomorrow can top tonight but I’ll take my chances.

Related posts:

  1. Sleep deprivation is a cruel, cruel thing.
  2. Shadows & Light

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

MindyMom April 14, 2009 at 4:53 am

Shall this be known as the tequilla post? I like it.

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Steve Odom April 14, 2009 at 11:28 am

First time commenter, long-time reader. This is actually Bill Callahan's second album. His first solo album came out not too long ago, Woke on a Whaleheart. Here's "Sycamore" from that album. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SYWBe4e7wA I love this song because it seems about a young boy growing up.

But here's my favorite song he's done recently:
http://bitly.com/JZPeU

Steve

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mssinglemama April 14, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Thank you so much for this. I'm a new fan of Smog thanks to that Matt (Logelin) guy.

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mssinglemama April 14, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Definitely. Was quite tipsy when I wrote it… but the grave yard of a comment section tells me it may be creeping everyone out. ; )

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Tina April 14, 2009 at 1:38 pm

"I started telling the story without knowing the end."
I love the story you are telling here, Ms. Single Mama.
Cool pics as well.
And thanks for introducing Matt Longelin's site to me. I saw him on Oprah yesterday; he did a great job, yet another important story to tell.

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Bill April 14, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Instead of drunk dialing, you are drunk blogging!! Nice post either way. Weird dream…

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TsQuest April 14, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Ha! Drunk blogging. (And I saw your tweet too late but I too was rooting for Tequila!)

What a fun evening. Those lyrics are inspiring. Glad to see you're enjoying yourself! Go girl!

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ModernSingleMomma April 14, 2009 at 2:38 pm

I couldn't for the life of me figure out if this was a dream or real life…i do like your drunk writing though. And the pictures helped confirm for me it was indeed reality…not a figment of your (or my) imagination.
:)

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lilmissbridget April 14, 2009 at 3:33 pm

Hi Alaina,
Must be crazy for you to have a break from the kiddo! But distance always makes you appreciate people more! I'm glad to see you are having fun! ENJOY it! Get a mani/pedi. Go shopping. Have fun!

Bridget

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Nakia April 14, 2009 at 4:01 pm

The drunk writing was awesome! I saw your tweet buy by the time I was getting ready to reply, I think you'd already taken the shot.

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above average joe April 14, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Good for you. Enjoy the rest of your free nights.

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Hanna April 14, 2009 at 7:28 pm

Wow this is a drunk post? Coulda fooled me. Dreams and music. Reminds me of my childhood among the hippies.

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Nydia April 14, 2009 at 11:04 pm

Whoa!

Trippy …

Cool …

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newsinglemama April 14, 2009 at 11:25 pm

great post!
enjoy your freedom from the little one, you deserve it mama!

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Janet April 15, 2009 at 12:32 am

Love this post. The whole thing has a dream-like quality.

Drunk blogging rocks. ;)

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mssinglemama April 15, 2009 at 2:29 am

Yes, it does.

; )

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