You had me at hello.

by mssinglemama on March 31, 2009

I’ve had hate mail before.

I’ve never published it though because typically it’s directed to single mothers. I can take it but I don’t want to hurt your feelings so they never see the light of day.

But today’s piece of hate mail – courtesy of Michelle M. (who can be reached at – is targeted directly at me, and me alone – so, WHOOPPEEE!, I can publish it.

Subject line: I heard about your website and now my thoughts, as a woman

you are a disgrace to the gender of women in this country. Let me tell you the things that you are:

1. You are weak.
2. a mother whose child will grow up embarrassed by the things they have so willingly (for money) put on the internet about his life. He is so young yet he will soon come to despise the fact that you have placed his life all over the internet for all to read. (Now, because of you, he can never even try to love his father).
4. a weak women.
5. a weak mother.
6. someone who sounds retarded on every video you take of yourself and your son. (ie: living room date and video for ford fiesta)…they are sub-par and you sound illiterate, lost and stupid. Your son picks his nose: not funny but actually disgusting. You obviously have not taught him manners but only contribute to a rebellious attitude. You are rebellious. So is your son.
7. a “proud woman” who only perpetuates disgrace and hardships towards women. As a feminist, I see you only as contributing to the weak factors of women in this world.
8. selfish. (you make money on this website but you only create stories of hardship, loss and pain for the gender of women.
9. egotistical. (for some reason)

and I add a bonus:


Read my response after the click…

My response:

1. Okay.

2.  I make less than $100.00 a month on this blog (and that would be a good month). If I were in this for money I would have thrown in the towel after the first year without a dime of profit.  I write here and share my story here because if I can help one – just one single mom – avoid some of the mistakes I’ve made in the past than I’ll sleep easier at night. And if I can inspire one person to enjoy every moment and just be… then, again, mission accomplished.

And if Benjamin ever wants me to stop writing about him, I will. No questions asked. But by then it won’t really matter because this blog will be in a “look how they used to use the Internet” museum.

3. Against who?

4. Hmmmm… okay. Would you like to meet me in that alley over there?

5. Gotcha.

6. I think it’s funny that you think a kid picking his nose is disgusting. Your children (if you have any) must be loads of fun. Rebels? Yep, I’ve been trying to talk to Benjamin about that. He’s just been so rebellious lately with the whole nose picking thing. Maybe it’s because I let him drive my car the other day while watching Robin Hood on my iPhone. And you should see my tattoo, it’s like an inch high. So rebellious. In fact, one day he and I are going to lead a revolution. I hope that last sentence gave you a heart attack.

7. I think you should look up the definition of perpetuate and then read my blog because that just doesn’t make sense at all, but whatever… you must enjoy that crack you’re smoking.

8. Please see #2. If I’m selfish for anything it’s that I monopolize my readers’ time with my dribble.

9. That one hurt.

10. That one really hurt. Now you’re starting to piss me off.


I can’t recall ever calling myself a victim and if I have, please show me an example. If I’m a victim it’s to my own poor judgment in men. I blame myself for my decision in choosing my ex-husband but I would do it all over again to be where I am today, with a three-year-old sidekick who makes my heart leap every time I see him.


You should really find something better to do with your time… like blogging! That would be fun.

{ 5 trackbacks }

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{ 191 comments… read them below or add one }

TsQuest March 31, 2009 at 11:36 pm

Wow. Wow, girl…

Handled well.

But how sad?!


Rebecca K. March 31, 2009 at 11:37 pm

You told her ! I would also like to add that THAT woman needs to go find a cave to hide in because there's a whole army of single moms (parents) who now want to kick her ass!!


Tara March 31, 2009 at 11:41 pm



Sheila March 31, 2009 at 11:42 pm

That is the most ridiculous letter ever. You handled it well … someone is reading this blog with crack goggles, because there is NOTHING about victimization in here. I see nothing but empowerment, healing, and moving to a higher level.


Crystal March 31, 2009 at 11:42 pm

WOW…you were totally nicer than I ever would have dreamed of being. Nicely done.

And for the record, I enjoy your blog and your twitter. That bitch has obviously never been through anything remotely significant in her life. She should be thankful and stop accusing other people of being weak simply because they've been through something difficult and choose to share their stories with others in hopes of helping someone.


Gin March 31, 2009 at 11:45 pm

Very sad. As a newly single mom myself, I see you as an inspiration. Some people are just nutty!


Barbara L. March 31, 2009 at 11:47 pm

Please know that there are many of us that rarely come out of lurking but check in everyday. We check in because of what your site gives us. For me, it's to know I'm not alone. Someone else is on this unperfect but beautiful wonderful inspiring journey too. I do not fancy myself much of a writer but it is really nice that you are and I can come read your thoughts every day. You are a friend I have never met. You said that if you helped just one person you would be able to sleep better at night. Well, sleep safe and sound tonight because I think there are a whole lot of us out here in cyberspace that you have encouraged. Please do not let this one person get to you. Much easier said than done I know. She is coming from a place of misunderstanding. All we can do is pray that she never has to understand the things that we have. People tend to attract the kind of behavior that they display. If this is really the type of angry person that she is it will come back to her. Try to be the bigger better person and wish her well because nothing productive will come from doing anything else. I pray you know how much you are appreciated.


Heather April 1, 2009 at 1:03 am

Well said, Barbara.


fraizerbaz March 31, 2009 at 11:48 pm

I can't understand why she has so much hate…. Where is that coming from? What did you ever do to her? It just baffles me.


Kim.R March 31, 2009 at 11:51 pm

wow, where did that come from? she needs to take your advice and Blog some of her own frustration- which clearly she has


Junctionmama March 31, 2009 at 11:58 pm

Very sad indeed.
Obviously this person is deluded. The one part that has me scratching my head more than anything else is the victim thing. How exactly are you a victim? If anything you portray yourself as a very strong, independent woman who is completely in control of her own life.

Some people, eh?


Sunday May 6, 2009 at 3:33 am

Very sad indeed. Sad that so many of you cannot (or will not) see her point of view. You see, this isn't about her- the Single Mama. This is about her child. The evidence is overwhelming. In fact, it is irrefutable. Children from single parent households fare worse than two parent households. There are exceptions. Take, for example, Barack Obama. Yet even he has stated publicly, and I quote: "You may be the next Lil Kim, but probably not. Therefore, you need to stay in school."

The point I am making is Single Mama is selfish. There are winners and losers in society -and she is a loser. DEAL WITH IT. By creating a blog about herself (complete narcissism) she is attempting to glamorize single parenthood. Sort of: "hey, look at me!" I am reminded of the Mary Tyler Moore show and the song 'You're gonna make it after all'…

Now I know I've sounded callous, so I expect a lot of hateful replies. So I say again: it is no longer about her and her selfish desires. It is about her child. A child with less options than a child with two parents. A child that will probably not go to college. And a child that will not even have so much as a blade of grass to inherit for the future.


Anonymous September 9, 2009 at 9:40 pm goes.

I know children from two parent households who fare worse in life than some from one parent households. Think quality, not quantity. There are just as many adults, coming from two parent households that abuse drugs, drop out of school, etc.

My parents were married for 17 years. I watched them fight (a lot!). In fact, their marriage taught me about the kind of relationship that I never wanted to wind up in. My mother, after years of his cheating, verbal, sexual, emotional abuse finally left him! I was 10, my older brother was 15. Yes, we had to move to an apartment (for shame!) in town.

My older brother graduated 3rd in his high school class, I graduated 23rd of 186. We both went to college (we just had to work to pay for it). He double majored, has a master’s degree, and is looking to begin working on a Ph.D. He is employed in his field as a teacher. I have a bachelor’s degree, made the Dean’s List several times, and work as a nurse.


Nell January 29, 2010 at 3:48 pm

As an educational researcher (as in, I conduct and analyze research about education and I get paid very well to do it), I can tell you that children from single parent homes are equally as likely to achieve the same level of education as children from homes with two parents.

You’re operating from bias here, not facts. There is no “irrefutable” evidence in existence that says that children from “single parent households fare far worse” than other children. Any research that comes to those conclusions has been methodologically unsound and culturally biased, or at the very least riddled with limitations that make the results far from irrefutable. Do yourself a favor and stop pulling ideas out of your ass and calling them evidence (because it makes you look like a crazypants).


Spruce Hill April 1, 2009 at 12:20 am

Oh my I am very surprised by the hate mail too! I am a very new reader and i really enjoy reading your blog and tweets(is it tweets or twits?) anyway I see you as a strong woman who stood up to a bully (your ex) and took your life into your own hands. as far as I am concerned he ruined his relationship with his son when he pushed you when you were pregnant!

So I think what you are doing here on your blog is helping woman, all woman not just single parents. My blog is about my journey surviving breast cancer does that make me a victim or a strong survivor? I pick strong survivor! You are one too!


Miranda April 1, 2009 at 12:24 am

She is just sad!! I find it funny that she's so disgusted with what you have to say, but she continues to read your blogs. If your seriously that disgusted then why don't keep coming back hater!


Hollie April 1, 2009 at 12:26 am

As a fellow single mama I couldn't at first but at first to laugh, but really who does she think she is the queen of all judgment there! How we can simply judge another and then send them hate mail. I think she must live a very horrid life that well I wouldn't want to know. Think best revenge is life well lived while driving your new Ford Fiesta!


JenniB April 1, 2009 at 12:27 am

I'm speechless. What a winner she is. Well done with your reply, and well done with living a full life with a sidekick who picks his nose! LOL!


Sara J April 1, 2009 at 12:32 am

Woah! I have to say, that since discovering your blog through Matt's blog I have been amazed by both of you. I went away for a weekend alone with my 18 month old son and said to myself, single parenting must be so hard! I say to my husband, I don't know how people do this all alone! I know that you aren't posting this just to have people make you feel better. You are probably posting it to show everyone just how insane people can get on the internet. Im sure that she couldn't say this to your face. My kid runs around with his hand down the back of his diaper and I take pictures of it. Her children, which I almost doubt she has any must not have any fun at all. She also clearly hasn't ready your blog or the back history on your relationship with your sons father. Any feminist would applaud you for getting out of that situation while the getting was good. I don't even know you and Im proud of you.
Also, "illiterate", a weak women?. You are such a weak women for writing your illiterate VENGEFUL blog.


Alexis April 1, 2009 at 12:42 am

How do you call yourself a feminist and then spew hate at other women? I'm a new reader, but can't imagine ever referring to you as weak, vengeful or selfish. You take care of yourself and your son and you seem to do it quite well. Better than some 2 parent households I know of. This bitch just pisses me off. I think I shall sin her up for all matter of email offers and spam. Passive aggresive? yes. Oh so much fun? yes.


Scott April 1, 2009 at 12:47 am

So that's the "feminist" line of attack nowadays? No wonder the movement died off…
That one obviously has no children. If she does, I shudder to think of their fates…
You're not the crazy one, mssinglemamma, but we know who is…


Nina April 1, 2009 at 12:51 am

ha. hers was funny. youre nicer than me, I wouldn't even have wasted the time with responding. I mean I may have written a response in my head and down over and over but never sent it. the problem is with people like that – you will never change their mind. its like with your ex…you could be entirely reasonable and right and the whole world would agree with you and you could talk till you died and he would never change. so…I get people who complain about me at work all. the. time. write to my director, file bar complaints, recently the same person TWICE and I have to waste my time responding in writing, justifying why I did what I did and that I did my job. so frustrating. with people like that I would be glad to not HAVE to respond. there is nothing I will ever say that makes them believe I did a good job and so its useless.

notice there was no substance or substantiation of her insults? clearly she has her own issues. and then to try to suggest you aren't a feminist and she is by god, all bow to the feminist…so ridiculous.

I think its funny too…my son picks his nose. so what? he's 17 months. he tries to blow his nose and then he sits there and gently gets out whatever he can't…which is everything. there's a time and place to teach manners and about picking noses, if that's the least of my worries I'M THRILLED!

sorry you got that and it upset you.


EBean April 1, 2009 at 12:55 am

Oh my god, your kid picks his nose??! How awful! How unbelievably depraved!
I mean, how can you NOT take offense to a young child picking his nose, much less a strong, brave woman in a challenging situation reaching out to others in similar situations in order to create a supportive community?
That is seriously so fucked.
You're terrible.
Bad, bad.
Why can't you be more like upstanding citizen Michelle, who's no doubt driven to dole out vituperative polemics to people such as yourself because, for whatever reason, she's overflowing with so much misery she'll take any conduit for it that she can get.
Hey Michelle? I think it's time for you to do a little soul searching. It seems like you have some personal frustrations to work out.


Heather(Hef) April 1, 2009 at 1:01 am

I wouldn't be able to deal with that kind of crap.

People are effing nuts.

You do what you do, MSM. I'll be reading, because I like what you have to say. I might not always agree, but what would be the fun in that? You're a great spokeswoman for the trials and tribulations (and humor and fun) that we single moms face.

And a victim? I think not. One thing I love so much about your blog is your ability to move past the whole "victim" gig. Plus the fact that you put yourself out there so earnestly. That, my dear, takes guts.

Go on with your bad self.


sandeepsingh November 12, 2013 at 10:03 am

Hi i am single any lady reationship me


mama_crazy April 1, 2009 at 1:10 am

Am I the only person that noticed she doesn't seem to know the difference between WOMAN and WOMEN? As a "feminist" surely, she should know the difference? Either way, she was way off base. The things you are NOT are: weak, stupid, or a victim.

I found your blog – though I can't quite remember how, and was inspired to start my own. Your blog is the first I check when I do my nightly "reading" – because I can always find something that is either entirely inspiring or amusing (sometimes both, all in the same post! double score!).

So, Screw her.


Laura January 8, 2010 at 1:40 pm

I noticed that right away!!!! HA HA HA!! Clearly an idiot!!! Also funny how she wrote-

You are:
1. You are weak.

To Michelle~
You are:
1. You are judgmental and in this email you sound like an idiot.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, yes, but if Michelle hates this blog so much, why can’t she just not read it? Seems pretty simple to me….

Ms. Single Mama,
I am a very happily married mommy, and I do think in an ideal world every child would have two loving parents in the same household. However, I am not delusional, and I know that in some cases, this is simply not possible, nor the best thing for anyone involved. Though kids are devastated when their parents split up, I have read so much research that says kids would rather be from a broken home than living in one. Good for you for saving your adorable son from the turmoil and drama of your former life. How awful that would have been had he grown up with such a terrible role model and and poor example of how he should treat his future partner.

I am a rather new reader, but i think your blog is funny, inspiring and lovely. You clearly adore your son, and you seem like an amazing mama. Oprah always says, “You are not what happens to you; you are what you choose to do with what happens to you.” I believe in that completely, and it seems you are living proof of that. While you could have just given up on yourself, you didn’t, and you made your life better for yourself and for your child. What an amazing gift that was to both of you!

Don’t listen to anyone who does not know you are a WOMAN, not a WOMEN. πŸ˜‰


Tammy April 1, 2009 at 1:12 am

Michelle M, why even read it? Last I heard, Blogs are NOT required readings!

mssinglemama, she's crazy. Don't waste another minute on her!


Janet April 1, 2009 at 1:17 am

I'm sure you already know all of this, but I'm going to say it anyway, because I know that sometimes when someone says something hurtful, even if we know it's not true, it still hurts and makes us doubt ourselves:

I could not disagree with Michelle M. more. The reason I love your blog and your story is that you have taken a tough situation and really made the best of it. I'm continually inspired by your strength and the obvious love you have for Benjamin. This is cheesy but you really give me something to work towards as I get through my divorce and figure out this whole single parenting thing…not to mention dating, whenever I finally start doing that!

In short–
You rock.
Your blog rocks.
And anyone who mixes up "woman" and "women" should not be criticizing someone else!!


barbara April 1, 2009 at 1:37 am

Sorry, but I can see why Michelle would say these things. Benjamin is not old enough to determine whether he wants you to trash his father on the internet and I will be very surprised if this does not become a very big problem between the two of you in the future. It is ridiculous that you say you would stop if he asked you. He is a child. Even some of your readers have said that they like your blog but would not go so far as to publish their personal information on the web or on their own blog. When Benjamin turns 13, things may change and he will most likely be mortified. This will most surely come back to bite you and even more importantly, will surely make Benjamin very sad. There is nothing so depressing for an adolescent or young adult than to read and see in black and white that his father doesn't care for him very much. And on the internet for everyone to see!!!! He will have his struggles with his father as it is… are making it worse.


Aprille April 2, 2009 at 5:08 pm

I think that you could be right in many situations but look at who Benjamin has as a mother. Benjamin has never been lied to and he is 3 y/o do you think he doesn't already see how his father behaves? Children are not stupid by any means, the see and hear EVERYTHING, and if you aren't saying it they can sense it. Also, when Benjamin grows up I think the thing he will focus on the most is just how much his mother loves him. Truly, he is her world and Alaina (sp? sorry) would do anything to insure his happiness. We need to stop looking at everything that could possibly one day "ruin" a child and think about all the things that will make him strong, loving, independent, caring, strong. Benjamin is destined to be amazing and even slightly rebellious because that is his mom, his strong hold and his pillar of strength. Alaina (again if wrong sooo sorry) you are doing an amazing job, you are the opposite of what that awful woman said. You're son is adorable and seems sweet. Let nothing stop you from writing what you feel. You helped me get through a though time and you have helped countless others. Thank you for all you do. Also, you are beautiful. πŸ™‚


Kris April 3, 2009 at 7:35 pm

I agree with Aprille, my son who just turned 4 already see's that his father could care less about him. My son still loves his father but knows not to count on him for anything and he is only 4.

I have heard from many older single mothers that have kids who are grown up. They said that love is stronger than anything and if you have love that is all your son/ daughter needs to get through life. I think Benjamin will have his own opinion of his father as he grows up. Whatever Alaina writes about his father is her point of view not Benjamins, he will have is own. I also think that when he is 13 he is grown up enough to understand his mothers feeling and would have probably already figured out by now that his father is the way he is. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger!! Plus maybe Benjamin will see this and want to be a better father when he has children.

Just my opinion on the situation. Alaina knows Benjamin and knows what he can and can not handle.

BTW I came to this blog because I felt so hopeless and was questioning myself if I was doing this single parent thing all right. Alainas blog has helped me realize that I am and that I have a someone who I can relate too when times are tough. Plus, what 3,4,5 year old doesn't pick their nose. I heard on the radio the other day the radio Dj's daughter was farting , taking a big wiff and saying it was Delicious… Kids will be kids lol


mssinglemama April 3, 2009 at 7:40 pm

Gosh, you have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you… so. very. much.



barbara April 1, 2009 at 1:37 am

I'm glad that your readers find you strong, independent and supportive, but it seems like they are also seeking validation as victims in their plights. Misery loves company.
It is quite obvious that you think very highly of yourself and like to broadcast that as well. Might I suggest taking a course in Women's Rights' or the like and use your blogging power in a more meaningful and useful way. And, quite frankly, I am astonished that Ford would award the car to someone who made a video that included her son picking his nose and eating it. That is truly gross. That you think it is cute and funny and worth reporting is telling. Do I know that some children do that? Absolutely. WHOOPEE…you all have fun crucifying Michelle. This blog does perpetuate the whining and moaning, interspersed with "but aren't we wonderful, strong, independent women!"


Ms. Single Mama April 1, 2009 at 1:51 am

One question – why do you read my blog?

And something else … I can delete the posts about his father in two seconds. Okay, maybe it would take me 10 seconds. But they can be deleted (for public consumption). But I'll save them because one day he'll want to know why we aren't together and these are the best words I can find. I have never called him names or put him down – I'm asking questions, the same questions Benjamin may be asking some day.


MindyMom April 2, 2009 at 3:45 am

Ms Single Mama – we should compare IP addresses. This sounds VERY familiar to some comments left on my blog. Could there really be more than one?


Aprille April 2, 2009 at 5:11 pm

Oh, one more thing. I TAUGHT MY SON HOW TO PEE ON A WALL. Next we are working on peeing out his name. And we all think, my daughter included, that farts are funny. Get over it Barbara.


Alexis April 2, 2009 at 11:01 pm

God forbid a woman should be strong, confident and think highly of herself. Let's everyone try to knock MSM down a few notches. How dare she be outspoken!!


Scott April 1, 2009 at 1:39 am

By the way, I was raised by a single working mom, so I know how it goes versus how it's supposed to go. People like your "feminist" will never get it, outside of a vaguely inexpressible jealousy and shock that your life is full of humanity and love and their lives are completely devoid of it. Such pathetic conditions are the fruit of a sterile, fearful repressed existence.
My two kids are sick now and it's all about the boogers and snot.
And yes, your blog rocks.


Tishia Lee April 1, 2009 at 1:55 am

Some people have way too much time on their hands! That email was horrible. I'm impressed with the way you handled it. I'm sure she'll come back with a reply to your email.


Amy in Sedona April 1, 2009 at 2:01 am



Rachel April 1, 2009 at 2:04 am

It is so very strange to me that people send hatemail to those who tell their own stories. If you were advocating that, say, men are evil, I might expect a little hatemail. But you are telling your story. There isn't any way to judge another's story except to keep reading or stop reading. I, for one, hope you keep telling the stories because I would like to keep reading.


mycolumbusohioblog April 1, 2009 at 2:05 am

just so you know, i don't agree with that lady one bit. you go misssinglemama.


Spruce Hill April 1, 2009 at 2:12 am

Walk into any first grade class room any where in America and you will see 99% of the kids in the class picking their noses AND eating their boogies! Get over yourself!


mssinglemama April 1, 2009 at 2:34 am

Love this visual! Thank you.

Sent from my iPhone


Barbara April 1, 2009 at 2:17 am

I stumbled upon your blog and was amazed. Not to worry. I won't be reading it anymore. I see you only respond to those who disagree with your insight. Best regards.


Rebekah April 1, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Hmmm I think 'Barbara' may be Michelle. She's spewing pretty much teh same crpaola.

Anyone a forensic email analyst? lol
Really Barbara -Michelle, whoever, you need a hobby.

And feminists do not trash other women.

And ALL children pick they're nose AND they eat it. If that bothers you don't ever have children because some babies…..have been know to fingerpaint with their poop.

Best of Luck : )


jen April 1, 2009 at 2:17 am

Oh wow – I'm speechless. There's some people with no lives out there. I'm a sole parent too – and guess what – my son occasionally picks his nose and that must be because he's belongs to a sole parent family. Oh, and I'm SO miserable that I read your website and websites of other mothers (single and otherwise) who whine and moan about being parents. It's called a community, it's called sharing. It's what we do as parents with our friends in real life and blogging is just an extension of that.


Shannon Smith April 1, 2009 at 2:20 am

People who are hateful like that have their own set of problems. Feel sorry for her. She's obviously miserable. You're doing a great job.


morsemusings April 1, 2009 at 2:23 am

I've been subject to insane people myself and I recognize it well. Funny that some can't see how human it is that people pick there nose. I also have not found a more human blog on the internet in all of my searching. Your the cooler than the bloggers you admire my dear. I can't imagine the internet world without you.


Star April 1, 2009 at 2:26 am

What an ignorant loser. I love your blog and it had helped ease my transition into single mom land. Thank you for your entries and for being willing to share your life with us. I laughed at the living room date video because it was exactly my pattern…third date living room date with too much making out πŸ˜‰


Barbara L. April 1, 2009 at 2:30 am

I would like to clarify that there are apparently two Barbara's on this blog. I am the Barbara L. NOT the barbara.


Victoria April 1, 2009 at 2:43 am

Le sigh.

Some folks need to come to the realization that they can just click on the little x up top their browser window and pages they don't like go off into the interwebz, never to be seen again. It's kind of kooky the way it all works.

Sorry you had to get the full dish o' vitriol from the charming Michelle. You totally don't deserve it.


LiLi April 1, 2009 at 2:45 am

What are you ranting about? She responded to one of your comments specifically.


LiLi April 1, 2009 at 2:47 am

Was that email from Michelle MALKIN? Sounds like her brand of tired old rhetoric and hypocrisy


mom2threeinmd April 1, 2009 at 2:51 am

Clearly this person is not a single mother, nor does she have any friends who are single moms. Keep doing what you are doing sistah — cuz you are SPOT ON with everything you share about this crazy, unplanned single mother life!!!
~an admiring 24/7 single mom with 3 little ones tucked into their beds … at the moment!


cyndi April 1, 2009 at 2:55 am

Sounds like someone has a sad, bitter life of their own. She could learn alot from you if she was capable of getting past that first. I'll never get why so many women are only able to feel good about themselves by making sure the rest of us know how superior they are.

Enough time wasted on her.


mom2threeinmd April 1, 2009 at 2:55 am

And btw, tonight, I picked my daughter's nose. πŸ™‚


EastCoastMom April 1, 2009 at 3:09 am

miss single mama, you are a true inspiration to me. i am recently single and the mother of a two year old boy. I enjoy your blog so much and so many things have written about, reflect my life right now. I have to say that YOU ARE A ROLE MODEL OF STRENGTH, BEAUTY AND MOTHERHOOD!!! and there are going to be people out there who hate themselves and want to pick on you for this. like this jealous woman, whose words better reflect who she is and not who you are.


josie April 1, 2009 at 3:11 am

i did it with a q-tip because of a cold. so there πŸ™‚
i bet she forwards all those good luck emails too.

i am not single, but i am a mom. i love reading your blog along with many others. keep on typing and taking those pics, mama!


Karen April 1, 2009 at 3:18 am

give me a break….. i searched hard to find any single mom blogs. i want to know i am not the only one, i want to see in the lives of other single moms… to reassure myself it will get better, it does happen to others, ugh i despise people who judge others.. You rock and i am very glad i found your blog…


NewSingleMama April 1, 2009 at 3:53 am


And really that's all I have to say.

MSM was the first single mother blog I read when I found out I was to become a single mother. I was actually drawn in and inspired by your positivity and strength.

And for what it's worth that's why I still come back every day!


EBean April 1, 2009 at 3:54 am

I also want to point out that I'm not a single mom, nor am I even a paired mom, and I can still respect (and me impressed by) the strong, supportive and functional community Ms Single Mama has created with her blog.
And no voice that I've read here is the voice of the victim, btw.
In my objective opinion, the only person who might object to what you have here is someone who feels threatened by it for whatever reason.
But seriously, Single Mama– you let your son pick his nose? That's revolting.
(I'm kidding by the way. I mean who objects to a little kid picking his nose? I just can't get over that)


Christina April 1, 2009 at 3:55 am

OH fer cripessake! You know, in this vast vast world of blogs, I've stumbled upon a few that didn't float my boat. You know what I did? I clicked right on out with nary a peep. Because even though they are 'out there' on the internets, I still feel like they are somewhat personal spaces and that the author can write whatever he/she wants and unless they are hurting ME or MY FAMILY personally (as if I am that flipping important!!), I am not going to criticize. Who the hell do I think I am to do that, right?

So, other than sharing these emails for a laugh…just let it go. Who gives a rip? I am pretty sure your detractors are few and far between πŸ˜‰

Oh, and my kids both picked their noses. At lots older ages too!


PT-LawMom April 1, 2009 at 4:14 am

When I was a newly single mother looking for support, your blog was one of the only ones I could find that made me feel like I could once again be sassy, fun and whole again. Don't let the haters get you down, girl!! You deserve this. πŸ™‚


Amadna April 1, 2009 at 4:41 am

Did I miss her meaning in the bonus or is her grammar that bad? "A stereotypical women"? Shouldn't that be womAn? Really now. I would have had to call her out on that. Loved your reply to her letter. I'm all for feminism and whatnot. Seriously I am, but if one is going to LIST OFF a person's transgressions they really should do it right. That also includes not repeating one's self. I'm not a mom, but I had my 3 year old nephew for 2 years while my sister was in Iraq, so I know how trying it can be. I've also been in abusive family environments, it's a process of healing for everyone involved. I know I'm a stronger person because of it and I feel the same way. Hopefully someone I tell my story to can overcome a bad situation of their own.


Bear April 1, 2009 at 5:06 am

"enjoy every moment and just be" — beauty.


mama_crazy April 1, 2009 at 5:07 am

Are you sure that you're reading the same blog that you just commented on? I think you may be confused.


mama_crazy April 1, 2009 at 5:14 am

Tsk. Tsk – I forgot to mention that you let Ben pick his nose. You are a horrible mother. (I couldn't even keep a straight face while I typed that) Seriously, those WOMEN can not possibly have children of their own. Monkey is 16 months old, and has never seen any one pick their nose, yet she does it. It's what kids do.


heather April 1, 2009 at 5:32 am

the original comment and the few agreeing on this post are really, really funny. i am impressed with your humor and poise and self-assuredness in your response. i'm not sure why she wasted her time with commenting, but i'm even more incredulous regarding the things she said. you appear to be a wonderful, level-headed, loving mother, who is empowering others through her story. that is a feminist.

(p.s. pretty great that you called her out on it. i wouldn't have had the guts to.)


Apples April 1, 2009 at 5:52 am

Long but I feel the need to reply..

I think I know where she is coming from sadly. However I would NEVER have sent any hate mail to anyone. I hate to admit I was in a similar train of thought when I was married. I listened to that certain someone on talk radio- I nodded in agreement with her. Isn’t it amazing how time changes things. I must say I was somewhat open minded I understood that everyone’s situation was different. I can say a bit of what I “believed” but its old news and I don’t want to go there.

Now although (as you know) I am not one who posts videos or even many pictures of my daughter for people who I don’t know to see on the internet. However that being said it’s all personal preference. I mean really look at the child actors! I am guessing their parents get the same hate mail? Since one brought up Matt. Does Matt get this hate mail? I surely hope not!!

As one so eloquently said I would agree that her words came from misunderstanding and I too hope that she never has that eye opening experience that women like me have had. I love that we all have varying beliefs and what not and that *most* of us are able to discuss it in a more adult like manor. I would hope someone who is agreeing with her would try to have an open mind and instead of judging maybe ask a few serious questions you may have. Maybe we can clear up some of the misunderstanding. And although I cannot speak for everyone I promise if you come with a open heart and mind I will not go into defensive mama bear mode. πŸ˜‰

Now I must say I think publishing her actual email address might have been sinking to her level. But I thank you for posting the words.

Also- a bit of a disclaimer. Readers my grammar is horrible (one reason- maybe the number one reason I myself do not blog.) I spell checked it but it sometimes has no clue what I am trying to say- yes I am THAT bad haha!

I snicker because really our kids are always going to find something to hate us for in the future. LOL! The good thing (at least from personal experience) at least we grow out of that stage… It's a teenager thing. I am so not looking forward to those years. πŸ˜›


matt April 1, 2009 at 5:05 pm

i get all sorts of hate mail, mostly about my swearing.


Canadian Bald Guy March 31, 2009 at 11:46 pm

Wow. That's one of the dumbest emails I've ever read. She obviously doesn't have a clue.

I think you've proven over even the past few months that yes…you CAN help single mothers out there.

I've read your stories…I've read the comments and responses…nothing she can whine about will change the fact that you help people.

Weakness? Weakness is taking minutes from your life to send a hate-filled email that will accomplish nothing but make somebody else feel bad about themselves.

Weak? Good lord.

And personally…I think you're quite charming, attractive (is "yummy" taking it too far?), and just a normal, regular person in your videos. It's not like you're anchoring the CBS Evening News or anything. I'm sure she could do a much better job. < insert sarcasm here >

And honestly, just who says that you need to be a role model for other women? People read you because you are yourself, no more no less. If people look up to you, that's their decision. It's certainly not your job. It's a blog, for chrissakes.

I'm thinking of that whole "glass houses vs. stones" saying right now. To me, she's 100% deserving of ridicule at this point.


thewarriorpoets April 1, 2009 at 7:06 am

I had an incident with my wife and kids the other day where a car with some thugs rolled up and it's a longer story than a simple comment warrants, but my point is that I was glad I was there with her, and I actually thought later that day about you (and your "wrong Wal-mart" post) and how much strength a single mom has to have to constantly be without that other half there.

And ironically, I read this post today where someone accuses you of being weak.

For the record, I admire your strength.


Undersundog April 1, 2009 at 10:33 am

But the real heart of the matter here – and what I think everyone should take away from this with – is: Who doesn't pick their nose?


Oranges April 1, 2009 at 10:51 am

I could go on and on about the ridiculousness of her letter to you, but I won't. I will say this though: Feminists don't call people "retarded". Michelle obviously needs a lesson in postmodern thought. As a scholar in critical and feminist philosophy, it's sad to hear people adopt the title of "feminist" as an excuse for criticizing and marginalizing others. So sad.


Colleen April 1, 2009 at 11:19 am

Oh, I LOVE lists! So here's mine:

1. I think you are incredibly strong for two reasons: you seem to be doing a darn good job raising your son singlehandedly, and you're willing to put yourself out there publicly on a semi-daily basis. Takes a strong person to do both.

2. Why would Benjamin be embarrassed? This blog is nothing short of a giant and ongoing love letter to him. My mom passed away 10 years ago, and all I have left of her is pictures — wish I had her words as well.

3. Totally stumped on the vengeful thing. Maybe she's projecting??

4. See #1 and #3

5. See #4

6. Who uses the word "retarded" these days??? Makes her sound, em, "retarded." For someone who is casting stones about illiteracy, she should really go back and check her spelling and grammar. And what exactly is wrong with a little rebellion? I think everyone should have a healthy dose of it.

7. You SHOULD be proud, dammit! You're doing a GOOD thing here, both for your son and for us other single moms. "Perpetuating disgrace and hardships towards women" would be to stick your head in the sand and stay in a bad relationship "for the kids" or some other excuse, and let your child grow up believing that women aren't worth consideration.

You, my dear, provide a wonderful service for the rest of us who also took the leap into single parenting. You give us a source of inspiration, you remind us that we're not alone on the good, bad and downright ugly days of raising a toddler alone. I've both laughed and cried at your posts — mainly because they reflect the same joys, fears, triumphs and failures I also encounter every day. (Thanks for that.)

8. You share yourself with us every day. How is that selfish?

9. I think we're projecting again — seems like she's the egotistical one who thinks she knows it all.

10. see #6 and #7.

11. Okay, so who hasn't been hurt? I think you've moved past it and become a TERRIFIC role model for Benjamin, me, and a whole slew of other people out there.

Keep doing what you're doing. Meanwhile I'll see if I can hook up this venomous sniper with my ex — I think they would be perfect together. πŸ˜‰


Ms. Single Mama April 1, 2009 at 12:06 pm

This is wonderful. Thank you so much for taking the time to write this – yours and all of these comments have wiped her words away. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

And I agree, having lost my dad I would kill for more of his words… I have a few – very few -but not enough.


sparklingmama April 1, 2009 at 11:41 am

wow, she clearly has some deep rooted issues. Why else would someone take the time and effort to write something so vile?


Irishmom April 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm

People like this do not deserve any attention or recognition. Obviously, whoever it is, does not have any love or people in their lives. It is simply, sad, that they would chose to take it out on someone who is real and honest and a great writer. Life is about that stuff, not this viotrolic attack on someone who is brave and smart and honest. I am amazed at how graceful you were Alaina, because I'm not sure I could have been. You inspire me with your words and blogging, so make sure you keep doing it. My blog is for my children as much as me one day, so they can have a "story" of their childhood. The good and bad. And I know that we will all be glad that I wrote it down, because it all goes by way too fast. I think Michelle needs serious help. Hopefully she'll get it. Don't let it get to you! πŸ™‚


Irishmom April 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm

People like this do not deserve any attention or recognition. Obviously, whoever it is, does not have any love or people in their lives. It is simply, sad, that they would chose to take it out on someone who is real and honest and a great writer. Life is about that stuff, not this viotrolic attack on someone who is brave and smart and honest. I am amazed at how graceful you were Alaina, because I'm not sure I could have been. You inspire me with your words and blogging, so make sure you keep doing it. My blog is for my children as much as me one day, so they can have a "story" of their childhood. The good and bad. And I know that we will all be glad that I wrote it down, because it all goes by way too fast. I think Michelle needs serious help. Hopefully she'll get it. Don't let it get to you! πŸ™‚


NewSingleMama April 1, 2009 at 1:43 pm

The nose picking comment is very strange. This person doesn't sound like he/she lives in the real world. All kids pick their noses.
And yeah, I agree, this person should also learn to spell, lol


Stephanie April 1, 2009 at 1:48 pm



Tammy April 1, 2009 at 1:56 pm

I just figured out Michele M. She pissed SHE didn't win the car!


Lindsey G April 1, 2009 at 2:06 pm

I just started reading your blog yesterday (found you on Matt Logelin's blog) and I absolutely LOVE you! I think you're hilarious and very inspiring! I am a happily married mother of a 6 1/2 month old so I don't know the struggles of being a single mother, but I do understand the mother part πŸ™‚ And I thank you for blogging!
This woman is a very sad, sad person. She's obviously very jealous of what you have and what she doesn't. I love your response to her!


MsCatalysta April 1, 2009 at 2:10 pm

I know MsSingleMama in real life. Not just her blog persona but her actual real life self.

She is the definition of "feminist." She cheers on women, offers to help when they need it, listens to them, and does her contribution by writing this blog for herself and others who enjoy it. She is proud of her son and is raising him to be a kind and considerate individual. She works singlehandedly to keep herself and her son happy and healthy and she does it without help or apologies. She SHOULD be proud.

Some of us are lucky to have some help in life with great significant others- other people don't. People can come here to share their stories, find a community, and get some support. Since when is that bad? But you blast them for "whining." Then when they get some self esteem, work hard to get through whatever sadness or pain they have and feel proud of their accomplishments, you blast them for "pride."

I wish all the judgmental women out there would start supporting each other instead of tearing them down. Just think if ALL women- single, divorced, widowed, married, mothers, whatever- started supporting each other and offered help instead of their own judgmental opinions. What a nice place that would be.

And to you mothers- single or otherwise- who are doing the best you damn well can and supporting and raising your child or children to be kind, considerate, understanding, wonderful people- stay proud. You've earned it.


mssinglemama April 1, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Thank you my sweetness. Very, very nice of you to leave this comment. You just got me all teary eyed.

Thanks again, Ms. Catalysta ; )


Katherine SOLOdotMOM April 1, 2009 at 2:18 pm

great response… and yes she needs to find something to do with her time.


April M April 1, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Wow…I wish I even knew what to say, but I'm pretty sure that the 74+ rad chicks who have replied prior to me have covered it. This bitter little butterfly has clearly been threatened by you and your awesomeness or she wouldn't have used up those brain cells to show you not awesome she is.

Keep being you…you know, weak? LMAO I think not.


April M April 1, 2009 at 2:37 pm

And I should perhaps add, that if you perpetuate anything, it's the awesomeness of single moms. You have shown the world that it's not something to be ashamed of, it's something to be proud of. When I found your blog, I found hope that I would stand on my own again. It's happening, and I am grateful.


Court April 1, 2009 at 2:43 pm

Barbara needs to live her own life. Being a single mom isn't always glamorous, it isn't always about making the right decisions, it isn't always proud. You learn as you go and you become better at it- like everything in life.

All we can do is hope that people as pathetic as Barbara can help themselves by focusing on their own lives, own issues (obviously there are many), because this world doesn't need anymore hate.


Shannon April 1, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Just like mom2threeinmd above, I've been known to pick B's nose too. πŸ˜‰ And second of all, if she wants to see someone vengeful, she should watch out because she just incurred the wrath of piles of Ms. SingleMama's loyal readers. None of that should hurt Alaina, because it's all so very obviously not true. And really, we can't expect EVERYONE to "get" us, right? That poor sad soul. How unhappy she is.


Nakia April 1, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Wow. Yeah, when toddlers pick their noses, it's definitely because they've got horrible, weak, egotistical mothers.

From someone who reads your blog every single day, I think you're great and I'm sure I'm not alone in that thought.

She's just got way too much time on her hands and feels (for whatever reason) that she needs to put her bitterness with life off on someone else.


Nakia April 1, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Wow. Yeah, when toddlers pick their noses, it's definitely because they've got horrible, weak, egotistical mothers.

From someone who reads your blog every single day, I think you're great and I'm sure I'm not alone in that thought.

She's just got way too much time on her hands and feels (for whatever reason) that she needs to put her bitterness with life off on someone else.


Saba Rashleigh April 1, 2009 at 3:13 pm

mssinglemama you have helped me in so many ways! I sent Michelle a nice email πŸ˜‰


Rebecca April 1, 2009 at 4:08 pm

Hate mail is so ridiculous. Kudos to rising above.


Kim April 1, 2009 at 4:10 pm

That has GOT to be the most ridiculous email I have ever read. Wow, what a b*tch.

Let me start by saying this to you and I hope that woman, who is obviously ignorant to the world and how it works nowadays, reads this. I am a newly single mom, newly as in fresh out of an abusive relationship; financially, emotionally and physically. I wake up every morning and read your blog and it gives me HOPE. I admire you for the decisions you've made since you left your husband, I admire you for the way you are raising your son, I can only HOPE to be that good with my little man and that he and I will have the same relationship that you and Benjamin do. I admire the strength that you have and the will that you have to move on with your life. I admire that every thing you do is for your son. That is obvious in every way and anyone that can even think to call you selfish is simply not reading your blog the way it's meant to be read.

(more to follow)


anon April 1, 2009 at 4:18 pm

hmm, I read your blog every now and then…never found you weak, ready to kill or anything else….i was about a sec away from replying her when i realized what her problem is…
i completely agree with her…100%…whatever she said is true…..
she is absolutely right and you are what she said you are……weak….etc etc…

well, this is how you handle ppl in mental asylum….by agreeing to whatever they say….severe depression is a form of craziness which ppl do not appreciate enough and think they are sane enough to write letters to complete strangers becos she/he decided to share 2% of their life with blogger world!!!!
If she could tell me the city she resides in…may be we can suggest some trauma center to her


MandaKay April 1, 2009 at 4:23 pm

So i had written a really nice e-mail to michelle explaining how I am inspired and empowered by this blog as a single mom who's ex left after 7 years and a beautiful daughter to be with a man. He became abusive and angry, and I felt so alone and often blamed myself. Finding this blog was amazing, I'm encouraged to better myself and my situation and focus on my daughter and my own self improvement rather than loathe in self pity and blame. But anyways, the e-mail for michelle doesn't exist. Oh well. You are a brave, courageous and SMART woman, thanks for letting us other single mamas know we aren't alone!


MichelleandMaverick April 1, 2009 at 4:30 pm

OK…so now I come out of lurkdom….that chick has problems. Really, there must be something better she can do with her time – I would spend time dispelling her weak points she tried to make, but everyone has already done a fine job and really, someone so self-righteous and full of hate does not deserve that much of my time or mental effort. I had a wonderful time meeting you and visiting with you and Benjamin in LA. She has no idea who you are. Good for you for sharing her email..LOL…and I too was picking Maverick's nose last night…it was a boogger that had been there for 2 days…it had to go. It was making me nuts…I think Benjamin picking his nose was hilarious….he was just being a kid…it was real, funny, but real…like you. And single moms out here do appreciate your take on things. Let her go…it must be miserable to live with so much venom that you feel obligated to share for no other purpose that to hurt someone…a sad case if you ask me.


Megan April 1, 2009 at 4:52 pm

MsSingleMama – you inspire me and I visit your site at least once a day awaiting a new post. Your posts have made me laugh, cry, cheer! Thank you for sharing and being an inspiration for all moms, all parents.


bird April 1, 2009 at 5:11 pm

Sore loser is what Michelle probably is and clearly bitter. I'm sorry I don't see a gun pointed at her head or mine forcing us to read your very lovely, fun and touching writing. Oh Michelle, you must live a lonely life without much fun, excitement and too much time! You could try just following "If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all." it works wonders on Kindergartners and adults with pea sized brains. Michelle!


Apples April 1, 2009 at 5:32 pm

Matt, seriously people are uptight! I mean I get the not liking cussing in some settings but on a blog?! Just don't %^@&ing read it. πŸ˜›

-Okay it was late. That wasn't quiet worded like I would have liked but oh well. One thing I would like to make clear. That in general I had that sorta feeling towards single moms that I feel she has. I did not however ever hate a single person let alone to the point of even thinking of sending them an itemized list of why.

And MsSingleMama YOU ROCK!


Sarah Bellum April 1, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Hate mail is the very worst part of blogging. However, I always feel slightly powerful that someone hates me enough to take the time to email me. It means I'm getting some sort of reaction out of the reader.

I love the honesty of your blog. I'm a childless, single woman who is starting to think it may be time to consider parenthood. Your blog helps me realize that I could totally be a mom all on my own. For that I thank you.


Not-so-perfect Mom April 1, 2009 at 5:49 pm

WTF!!!! I can't believe the nerve of this woman…get a life! I love how you included her email address….maybe I'll get some inappropriate mail sent there. πŸ™‚ just kidding!


Shannan April 1, 2009 at 6:06 pm

Well – Michelle M is full of shit! Can I say that on a blog – maybe not! She might send me hate mail so I retract that (1/2 heartedly) and let's just say that she's FULL OF IT!


marleysmomma April 1, 2009 at 6:11 pm

talk about a FREAK…seriously get a life. I am a married mother and i love reading your blog. You have actually inspired to start my own. Today i ordered "blogging for Dummies" cant wait to get it in the mail. You are a blogging inspiration. Keep up the GREAT work!


mssinglemama April 1, 2009 at 6:14 pm

Just be sure to use as your host… okay?

And let me know what the link is as soon as it's up!


Jennifer April 1, 2009 at 6:17 pm

I don't understand it, if these people hate your blog soooo much why don't they quit reading it? No one is forcing them to sit down and go to Right?


mssinglemama April 1, 2009 at 6:32 pm

Yep. You definitely can be… quite remarkable isn't it? I must say though – that first year is the hardest (when they're newborns). Being alone at that time is tough as nails. But SOOOOO worth it. Sometimes I daydream about having another one (w/o a man) – why not?


Pisceshanna April 1, 2009 at 7:38 pm

Wow as a feminst, I'm ashamed someone tried to hide behind that title while trashing another woman. As a single mom, once again we have to defend abilities as mothers. Maybe one day barbara will wake up and see that the rest of the world is leaving her behind in her ignorance, while the rest of us get on with our lvies.


Scott April 1, 2009 at 7:39 pm

Nothing better than a feminist raising a boy, or children for that matter. I was a boy raised by one, so I know this to be true.


caribbeanlurker April 1, 2009 at 7:41 pm

I never comment, though I had been reading your blog constantly for months… I do not commment for two singles reasons… my english sucks (ain't my fisrt language) and well being a girl in her bottom twenies single and no kids, makes have no insight of whatever is going on in your life, still I'm amaze by the way your handle your life and benjamin's and I'm glad that I step upon you blog, so one day when I'm a mother I'd better.
The fact that has me commenting, is that after reading this hate mail, I decided to write a polite mail to that Michelle, and I was surprised when I got a notification back that the email no longer exists… just wanted you to know!
hold on her, and at the end of the day there are 1000x who support you πŸ˜‰
Have a nice day and cheers from the caribbean πŸ˜‰


mssinglemama April 1, 2009 at 7:47 pm

Wow!!! Really? Michelle shut down her e-mail everyone! That's awesome!!!

Thanks for letting me know. You are all so awesome. What would I ever do without you?

And don't worry about your English or the no kids thing – you should comment all of the time.



Yummy Mammy April 1, 2009 at 8:19 pm

I see you have a secret fan there then lol


Spruce Hill April 1, 2009 at 8:56 pm

Seriously? Sheesh! People need to realize if you don't like what someone is saying on a blog then don't click on it!


Stephanotis April 1, 2009 at 9:29 pm

I understand that when you become a blogger you share your daily life with people you know and others you do not know. People will either relate, agree, judge, accept, laugh or critize your blog; however, at the end of the day it is your life and your blog. You can say what you want, do what you want, show what you want and not have to apologize for any of it or give any explaination to certain people or thier comments. Which leads me to "Michelle" aka "Mystery Woman" if she doesn't like your blog, "stop reading it". She really shouldn't worry so much about your son picking his nose. What she needs to worry about is whatever is up her butt that makes her so uptight. She has no right or authority to demean you as person or your life.
You're doing what is best for you and your son.

Love the blog Ms. Singlemama. πŸ™‚


Christelle April 1, 2009 at 9:53 pm

Welcome to the "retarded club"! This past weekend a woman called me retarded too- only it was in life- not blog land- And I was left to wonder- what makes people feel the need to be mean? Something I've come to realize is that when people take it upon themselves to tell you who you are- they are completely wrong- besides- she doesn't REALLY know you! And everything else- most of it didn't even make sense, and is just plain silly- I guess that's what jealousy does to a person- I've received hate blogger comments as well – It's hard not to be hurt- BUT someone who feels the need to hurt- has serious issues themselves. Keep being yourself- keep doing what you do- THAT will really tick her off- :O)


MommaSunshine April 2, 2009 at 1:35 am

Wow. I'm constantly amazed at some people's ignorance and downright hatred. I feel sorry for someone who derives pleasure from cutting someone else down. So sad.


Candy April 2, 2009 at 2:03 am

You know, I have a really hard time understanding why someone has to be so negative and hurtful. If a person feels the need to criticize, shouldn't it be constructive and helpful? If you must speak a truth that is hurtful, shouldn't be done in love? However, I didn't see any truth in that river of hatefulness that poured from Michelle. I honestly feel sorry for her, because I know that generally when someone is pointing out (perceived) faults in others, that person is trying to compensate for (and distract others from) his/her own inadequacies.

MSM – I come back again and again to read this blog, because you are someone I would choose as a friend. You are strong, witty, and a great mother (I love how you love your son)… not to mention, an excellent writer. I personally would buy your book… have you ever thought of writing one?


MindyMom April 2, 2009 at 3:30 am

Sounds just like some if the comments I've received on my blog – only by a cowardly "anonymous" commenter. NO ONE who isn't a single mom or has dealt with what we deal with every day should be passing judgement – or anyone else or that matter. Some people just need someone to point the finger at. I say if it has to be someone, move on to the more deserving deadbeat dad.

Great response to the email. Those kind of people do need to get a life and quit the single mom bashing already.


MindyMom April 2, 2009 at 3:41 am

This is almost the EXACT comment I received from my "anonymous" commenter when she didn't like the responses I gave her! Probably the same person going from blog to blog bashing single moms all day because SHE DOESN'T HAVE A LIFE!


Kat Wilder April 2, 2009 at 3:45 am

I hate to say it but once you published her e-mail address, you proved her right on No. 3. VENGEFUL.

Think about it …


Scott April 2, 2009 at 1:44 pm

So? There's a thing called karma…


Amber April 2, 2009 at 5:46 am

You said it perfectly. Im sure im speaking for thousands of your friends that read this blog when i say that your words, anecdotes, stories give us hope and inspire us to be the best single mothers, women, lovers, & friends that we can be. It is no easy job going at it alone but we do. And our children will be better for it. Because of this blog and a handful of others (Matt, Liz, Madeline, Storked!, etc) I do NOT consider myself a victim. I consider myself blessed to have what I do. And I can honestly say that if i were not a single mother and had been dealt a different hand, I may never have known what i am made of and for that I am thankful. So Alaina, keep doing what you are doing and consider it a compliment that the b*tch took time out of her oh so PERFECT life to analyze your work. Congrats on the car! And for being a non smoker!!

PS~have you seen kmarts shoes?! they have some of the cutest i have ever seen and for dirt cheap. check them out online.


Annie from Oregon April 2, 2009 at 8:54 am

@spruce hill who said: Oh my I am very surprised by the hate mail too! I am a very new reader and i really enjoy reading your blog and tweets(is it tweets or twits?)…..I think the word you are most accurately reaching for is definately *twits* (aka Michelle and Barbara)!!. ~MsSingleMama – Good on Canadian T because I saw his shout out to you and came over. I like you just as you are! Keep blogging, keep encouraging, keep your great sense of humor – you are a good mama and a good person. Nuff said.


Rebekah April 2, 2009 at 2:28 pm

Nah- Vengeful would be posting her email and asking all people who agree with her to send Ms. M nasty emails. That was not done.

Simply posting her email….it's my choice to email her or not and I didn't.


Kim April 2, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I'm still so pissed about that email. You are simply stunning and so is your child. I love the videos (and obviously so did FORD!), you two are more than adorable and I think that Benjamin will grow up to love everything you have written about him. I don't think he will not have a chance to love his father from this! Are you kidding me? The kids going to know his daddy is a jerk just by his actions, he's not going to have to read about it here. Please. This blog is your outlet and also an outlet for so many other women/men. You are real, that is what matters. And you truly are one of the strongest women I have ever "known" and your strength gives me strength. It really does. Right now I am facing one of the toughest times in my life and I am terrified of what is to come, but I read your blog, I pour over the older entries and see how you faced the same problems I am .. and I feel stronger just from your words.

F that woman. She is definitely smoking something.


wyliekat April 2, 2009 at 3:11 pm

Dang. That there is quality hate mail. It fills all the categories:

1) Nonsensical? Check.
2) Incoherent? Check.
3) Filled with incomprehensible and blinding rage? Check.
4) Holier than thou? And thou, and thou, and thou over there? Check.
5) Forces the reader to wonder how many idiots populate the internet? Ooooh, check.



Bavani April 2, 2009 at 3:41 pm

I'm a silent follower of your blog but I just HAD to say something! What a horrible woman! I'm not a single mother AND my daughter picks her nose (proudly, may I add!) – so what is the relevance? She sounds like she has 1 too many screws loose in her head. Don't take anything to heart. I think you a doing a wonderful job despite the challenges you have faced in life. I respect you and can only hope that I would be able to do as well should I be faced with the same challenges.

Your silent supporter!


Kerri April 2, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Also a silent supporter here. I always feel a little weird about leaving comments on someone elses life, so I never have. I am a mom to a 3 year old and a 17 month old, but happily married. I have no idea how you do it alone. Your blog makes me proud to call myself a woman and a mother. We are the strongest creatures on earth (mothers) and your blog proves it time and time again. You rock Ms. Single Mama. From a loyal reader and Mommy.


christine April 2, 2009 at 4:38 pm

i'm commenting late in the game, but i just wanted you to know that your blog has helped me tremendously. i found it when i really needed to know that there was a light at the end of the tunnel. my husband dumped me when i was 7 months pregnant, and with a 2 1/2 year old to boot. i felt like my life was over, and this blog is one of the things that showed me it wasn't, and that eventually i would be okay.

i think michelle is just jealous of your new car. )


Margaret from NM April 2, 2009 at 5:10 pm

I have been an everyday reader of your blog since January. I have been reading it because I enjoy getting some insight in to somebody else's life who is somewhat similar to mine (although I am not single) I am a working mother of a toddler. I like it because I find that someone else in this world is going through "issues" (what ever it happens to be that day, work stress, home stress, planning a b-day party stress) and found their own way through it. I commend you for getting thus far with your child and still having time to blog for all of us reader who enjoy reading about you and Benjamin daily. I am not sure who this person wants you to be, but you are doing just fine. Anyone who can raise of a child alone is definately not weak. This person is obviously not a parent. I would like to thank you for not talking to yourself in the shower anymore & doing it here instead πŸ™‚


mssinglemama April 2, 2009 at 5:41 pm

That is SO sweet. Thank you. Yes, no more shower talking – all here now, I promise. ; )


The Queen April 2, 2009 at 7:50 pm

There is really no reason to be so ugly and hateful. It is like a song or television show that may not be for you, just change the channel. Are you telling me you have so much free time and that you spend it typing hate mail and reading blogs that don't speak to you? There are about a million others to read you know, I'm sure you could easily click forward to one that fits your beliefs and agenda whatever that may be. I and most of the readers here are Single Parents and we don't have the luxury of such time. Just move on!


The Queen April 2, 2009 at 7:51 pm

You are welcome to your opinion and I respect that, I think we all do. But Ms Single Mama is a good, strong woman doing the best she can for her son, for herself and for us – her fans. I find such inspiration from this woman who writes eloquent words that cause me to think. She was one of the first single parent blogs I found and she has lead me to so many others, so be nice because she is providing a useful service to some of us even if not to all of us (ie:you). You don't have to love her like we do, but asking for a smidge of respect isn't too much. We will respect you and you respect us and in the end maybe we can all share this blogosphere in harmony.
Oh and if you are sending "Hate Mail" to Matt, you are an A**! And that I do NOT respect!


LucasGo April 2, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Perplexed really, and amazed at how some people try to conjure a pretty insane amount negativity in anything they can. What kind of person sits down to write this to you? *shock*

Even though I'm not a single mom – I'm a single dad, I take plenty inspiration out of your blog.

Don't take this kind of bitterness personally.


Lori April 2, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Hey Singlemama-
The "hater" must live in a bubble and I think your readers busted it for her. Don't let it get you down. I enjoy your blog and videos. Oh, and the real personal attack on your son, I've never met a child that didn't pick his/her nose. As a nurse I've seen disgusting and that lady sure hasn't. From assessing her letter it seems she's jealous of you.

Must add: a blog I read about a pastor's wife, in the bible belt, posted a pic of her son peeing after teeball. She took a pic from behind and marked out his buns. Not one person commented anything ugly about it. Can't we enjoy our kids growing up and take pics and videos without the judges in the world? Our parents sure did!

Have a fabulous day!


alessandra April 2, 2009 at 10:43 pm

I will never forget sitting in my neighborhood Starbucks, reading the New York Times, and playing with the paper cup that held my triple grande nonfat latte. It was a quote from Madeleine Albreight that said, "there is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." Michelle, take note.


Alexis April 2, 2009 at 11:06 pm

How should she respond to people that agree with her. "I agree"? I'm sorry, but you just sound dumber and dumber with every post.


mssinglemama April 2, 2009 at 11:21 pm

Wow. Awesome. Thank you so much.

Sent from my iPhone


James April 3, 2009 at 1:32 pm

She seems nice.



leah April 3, 2009 at 7:19 pm

I am a Women's Studies major and also a die-hard feminist. That woman has no basis for her comments other than some kind of misplaced anger. I love your website and I for one have gathered strength from what you have to say. And she obviously doesn't have a motherly sense because if she did, she would have noticed that every child picks their nose and most go ahead and taste it! Your son will not grow up to be embarrassed of you, he will be proud of you and understand that this blog is for your own sanity and for the benefit of others. That woman has upset me greatly. it is people like her who give women a bad name, some call it "bitch". I'm actually offended that she called herself a feminist…i wonder what the hell she thinks a feminist is? chin up, mama.


leah April 3, 2009 at 7:33 pm

p.s. I don't get this: "As a feminist, I see you only as contributing to the weak factors of women in this world". what exactly does than mean? and what are those weak factors? and are they even real or are they created by the androcentric system currently in place? I don't think she has any idea what she's saying or of its implications. does she mean that she thinks you are giving more 'evidence' to the claim that women are emotional, irrational creatures who are weak? she must not have read more than 1/4 of one of your posts because i think that enduring an abusive relationship, LEAVING him, raising a child on your own, and still finding time to reflect and help others on your site provide plenty of evidence on the contrary. i'm fuming!


mssinglemama April 3, 2009 at 7:47 pm

It's okay… really.

Let's just be happy she doesn't have a blog so she can't spread this stuff. You know? I think she just stopped by my blog took a few looks and then got all riled up. There are so many people who just naturally jump to conclusions about confident single mothers… they don't like it one bit. Because we are surviving (and often flourishing) without men in the picture.

That freaks people out.

But I write this blog for single mothers, everyone else is welcome (and many are here – married and childless even), but at the end of the day – there are those who \”get it\” and those who just don't.

Thanks for your comments… just know that I forgot about this woman as soon as I posted it because you all made up for it by leaps and bounds.


ed August 23, 2011 at 6:29 pm

You are antagonizing …. be better than that.


Kym April 4, 2009 at 4:29 pm

I just happened to come across this blog via Single Rose…see, I was a single mom once upon a time (he is now going to turn 21) and it was people like that FEMINIST who made me feel stupid for falling in love and being put out into the world alone with a child by someone who I trusted! Fast forward about 14 years later and I was now a divorced single mom on my own again, and now raising two (only now my ex does help out with our child)! Now, 21 years later does my son's father want to be a part of his life! We cannot control others and if we are in the boat alone raising these children by OURSELVES…it does not make us weak, stupid or a disgrace! It makes us much more powerful, especially since we have to be much more creative in how we raise these children. Being the mother and "father" to my son was quite a challenge for me, but he graduated from high school, intact without ever getting into trouble…why? Because I was STRONG, POWERFUL and much more intelligent than the likes of the person who emailed you! Keep on doing what it is that you are doing, it is your life, your decisions and your child! I think if anything, that person should have tracked down your ex and gave him the tongue lashing, not you! Good luck and keep on blogging….I will be following along!


Mary April 4, 2009 at 7:26 pm

While I fully support everyone being entitled to their own opinion, my respect and attention is completely lost once an 'opinion' becomes mean-spirited and unnecessarily hurtful.

Michelle – I don't know WHO you are angry at but please don't direct it towards someone who is dealing with their past and present in a mature and helpful way. As for making money off the blog: there is nothing wrong with making money doing something you love. Maybe if you were doing the same you wouldn't be so bitter.

MSM – thank you for your courage and willingness to share your life and heart with us. I am continually impressed and inspired by your journey and openness. As for making money off your blog: I applaud you, there is nothing wrong with making money doing something you love, congrats on your sucess and I hope you have continued sucess! Let me know when you meet Michelle in the dark alley, I'll see you there.


Y Elizabeth April 7, 2009 at 6:00 am

I think you are an inspiration to single moms everywhere…..


paula April 7, 2009 at 9:35 am

I think its funny too…my son picks his nose. so what? I have seen some related topics on kissBBW.c o m.If you want to know more ,please log on.


Danica April 9, 2009 at 1:05 am

I agree, you were too nice! Now I'm not sure if I should start blogging… I don't think I am mature enough for stupid people.
From one single mom raising a boy alone to another, I think you are doing a great job!


Holly April 11, 2009 at 9:34 am

Hey there MSM:

Wow! What a ridiculous email. I love her line, "As a feminist, I see you only as contributing to the weak factors of women in this world." What does this even mean? "Weak factors of women"? She is trying to sound all high and mighty, but what she's saying hardly makes sense; it's clear her IQ isn't all that high. The rest of the time she's just repeating herself; apparently, you are "weak," "a weak 'women'," AND a "weak mother." Way to go on creativity with the insults!!!!

I also LOVED, "Your son picks his nose: not funny but actually disgusting." Ummmm, yeah. Show me one child who hasn't picked his/her nose at some point. If Benjamin was 18, I might say the nose-picking was not so cool, but he's a little boy! My three-year-old picks his nose too AND eats his boogers, unless I am able to confiscate said booger before its consumed. (Yet if I blow my nose into a Kleenex he says it's "DISGUSTING!!!!" Go figure.) He will also eat his toenail clippings if I am not able to keep them away from him. Little kids do gross things. Obviously she doesn't have any children and sounds like she's about 18 years old and very immature. Maybe she and Ann Coulter should team up so they can discuss how Benjamin will surely turn into a felon later in life due to A) having a single mom, and B) "early-onset rebellious nose picking."

Her email is so stupid, it almost sounds like a joke! (This wasn't April Fool's was it?)

I am a college English teacher, and her writing shows a great lack of intellect, poor reasoning skills, and only a very basic understanding of grammar.

Also, like others who commented, I am also baffled at someone who goes out of their way to try to make a complete stranger feel like crap. What's up with that?


Sabrina In Philly April 12, 2009 at 3:48 pm

I can't believe a woman actually wrote that to other woman and then call them selves feminist??? Funny and clueless! You are a very strong woman and mother and I enjoyed your responces back!!
I love reading your blog, I have just started with in the month! I use to be a single mom of a special needs child after my x's couldnt handle it. Now, years later I am married…..
Kudo's to you!! What a hard job we have at being mothers and ontop of it doing alone! Your doing great~


NotADad April 12, 2009 at 4:41 pm

Michelle M is flaming you and looking for attention (probably jealous) – it's all noise and lacks any humanity. How dare she judge you in terms of some bullshit ideal role model. Just ad hominem (or is that ad feminum?) name calling without much in the way of anything to back it up or even knowing who you are. Despicable. Just block all email and posts from this creature.

I'd wager Michelle has more that her share of personality or mental health problems. (Don't you Michelle – you know you do!). There is little in the way of intelligence demonstrated in her flame, it's just trash. If she really is a "feminist" (I doubt it) then she's one of those fanatical boiler suit separatist ideologues (out of fashion since the 1980s – mercifully) who really have problems. She'd hate men and believe that all heterosexual sex is rape etc etc (boring, fascist, yawn!) and all that hate-filled, killjoy, doctrinaire, inhuman nonsense.

I'll bet Michelle does not have children and is as barren as can be or post menopausal – she envies you. She hates they way you have such a nice relationship with your lovely son. And I bet she is anything but a good role model for women, at least when she's off her medication.

There, that feels better to get a little bit of vitriol out of my system.

Mssinglemama – I'm sure your little son will really value this blog one day when he grows up – you should make sure it is archived for his benefit. What a valuable record of his early childhood and of the inner workings of his mother – how many of us have such an intimate insight into our early lives?


NotADad April 12, 2009 at 4:48 pm

Write your comment here…


Amanda April 17, 2009 at 4:33 am

Guess this person knows nothing of the foster care system and how children end up there. Mostly due to abusive marriage. I know, I saw it first hand at my previous job. You made the right choice. In my experience, it's the negative people who have the most free time on their hands and are the least productive skills to manage it.


Mr. Anonymous® May 10, 2009 at 6:42 pm

Hey Alaina!

Just logged on to wish you a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY !! – what other holiday could mean so much to YOU!

PS: I fell on this post when looking for a CONTACT ME and see you've received some HATE MAIL. I didn't even read it, but i'm sure it's probably hilarious. (I get some too.) The really SAD part, is the assclown who sent you her shit has probably got bigger problems than you – she just doen't know it yet πŸ™‚ Who the fuck would ever put someone down who is trying their BEST to make a difficult situation GOOD. That's just BAD MANNERS. (So fuck 'em) ALL THE BEST on this most special of days! ENJOY!


Ashley July 9, 2009 at 9:08 am

I'm not a single mother, I'm 15. I've read your blog for about an hour and I already am inspired by you. You make me appreciate my mother and what she's been through to try and do what's best for her kids…. There is one downside to your blog though… YOU'VE MADE ME SCARED OF THE MOTH MAN. Hahah, this girl.. honestly had nothing to say. You are a strong person.


Delcina July 9, 2009 at 8:47 pm

Hey! Just popped on your site, haven't seen it since you started it and WOW!!!! Looks great! And that lady sucks. She better hope I never find out who she is:)


Michelle July 14, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Wow, She sounds awful happy with her life. I think that you handled that quite nicely. And much more politely than I would have. First off, if she wants to call someone retarded perhaps she should have reread her letter before she sent it. She has grammer mistakes, misuses words, and has terrible prose. I love your site. Keep up the good work.


yessenia September 19, 2009 at 5:44 pm

one sentence to Michelle….”if you havent been in the shoes of a single mom…dont talk…”


may January 29, 2010 at 6:03 pm

I don’t agree with the hate mail. Although I might find your site a bit disapparaging towards single moms, you’re entitled to free speech. Sometimes an expert only shd dole out dating advice and you are not an expert by any stretch of the imagination.

Also I never understood anyone publishing stories abt their children on blogs. I highly value privacy and just thinking abt having that information public knowledge is just wrong. Facebook you can set for friends only, a blog is public for all to see. So that argument doesn’t hold water.

Any dollar you make is exploitation for money. And the fact that you’re willing to do it for only 100 dollars a month is even worse.

Good luck in your business! Hire a good CPA and lawyer and don’t spend frivolously no matter how much you charge your clients. This economy, it’s hard to grow your business, so I commend you for following your dreams!

Also hope it works out with John, but I’m the type not to jinx anything and to publish on your blog that you’re headed towards engagement and he reads that, and maybe you’re not on the same page is not so good. Unless you’ve talked abt it, but still I think anything premature pretty much ruins everything.

Not even sure if you read your comments. I found you through PW’s site. Now there’s a commendable woman. She certainly has children but doesn’t exploit them on her site.


Sonya March 27, 2010 at 1:58 pm

So May… said you don’t agree with the hate mail? I think you just went off there and agreed. Are you a single mom?

If the fact that HUNDREDS of single moms out there are making comments about how much this site has helped them….how can you say this site is disparaging? Does that make sense? Clearly, this site has helped many and you have NOTHING to back any of you comments up with. You are just like that woman who sent the hate mail and my understanding is that people like YOU ruined this site for those of us who NEEDED this site.

What a hateful woman you are.

If you didn’t like what was written here then you could have just left it and kept your negative comments to yourself.

I’ll place a bet that your personal life is not so great…based on how negative you are. We reap what we sow in life. That’s a fact. Oh? I’m sorry. Did you not like me jumping to conclusions about you? Well, your comment is FULL of ASSUMPTIONS.

I am so angry and disappointed that you would even bother to be here. Go away. You are not helping anyone.


Kerry-Ann June 8, 2010 at 1:06 am

I applaud your courage and your level of tact. As i see it, you are a strong, beautiful and amazingly inspiring woman. I feel so blessed to have come across your blog and I look forward to reading your amazing life stories and growth. Keep being a wonderful mother and a poised and beautiful woman as you already are because nothing can ever truly bring down a strong, independent woman – not even haters πŸ˜‰

Blessings and nothing but well wishes to you!


zacky June 20, 2010 at 11:31 pm

Hmmm…. Wondering what you do to those you feel just may not ostracize enough? Where did my comment go? Was it not what you wanted?


Single Mommy Makin It July 14, 2010 at 11:16 pm

Ok so this silly lady (original hate mail posting) is probably also homophobic and racist to boot and will only have sex with her husband in the missionary position. I feel kinda bad for her and her dark little heart. Don’t you? Thanks for shielding us from the rest of the single mommy haters out there ms single mama! Let’s spread the love people and support each other with kind words of encouragement!


Amber August 10, 2010 at 10:55 am

Handled that situation very well alaina. And please dont let her make you stop doing what you do so well….and that is inspiring us.


Katie August 10, 2010 at 1:06 pm

HAHA! I sent “Michy” a response…and her email is PERMANENTLY deleted. Hmmm…how “weak”. At any rate, this is what I sent her, just in case she morbidly checks THIS website to see what people are saying about her now:
It seems so strange to me when people feel the need to pass judgement on others…if that is what a “feminist” is, then get me the hell away from them, and put me in the kitchen. Regardless of whether or not Mssinglemama is or is not all of the things you say she is, (she’s NOT…by the way), who are you to pass judgement? You have shown that you are an incredibly, “weak”, “embarassing”, “vengeful”, and certainly “egotistical” woman, thinking that Mssinglemama would gain anything from YOUR opinion…why would it matter to anyone? Who ARE you? Emmeline Pankhurst?

I remember in high school I used to call myself a “hippie” because I shopped at Goodwill voluntarily. I’m seeing a similarity between that and you calling yourself a “feminist”. The difference is, I know that I am not a hippie because I shop at Goodwill; I am simply “frugal”…or “cheap” if you’d like…or “have my priorities straight because I spend my limited money on experiences versus clothes”. A better word for you than “feminist” may be something like, “bitter woman”. I hope you are able to recover from whatever crisis causes you to be such an egotistical, vengeful, weak embarassment to our gender. I am not trying to pass judgement, just make a general observation based on your ”



Lucy August 16, 2010 at 8:44 pm

What a total lowlife turd! How sad for her to be reading other people’s stories about finding their way back from a life difficulty and finding success to be happy. She needs a friend.


ed August 23, 2011 at 6:23 pm

he life is only difficult cause she never ever thought about consequences or actions. That is obvious from here failed and poorly planned relationship to this blog and it’s affect on her son.


Adina Cadet December 14, 2010 at 12:02 pm

I envy your piece of work, appreciate it for all the informative content .


bGELmolester December 14, 2010 at 10:38 pm

Ur a slut and an embarassment to women everywhere. No wonder your man ran off.


Anika June 29, 2011 at 6:13 pm

I just came across your blog, randomly scrolling the internet. You should ignore this woman and all ones like her. Do you. I’m sure you’re providing a great service to women out there in the blogosphere. Don’t let her get you down and stay positive!


ed August 23, 2011 at 6:21 pm

As a man I definitely find your website offensive and somewhat untrue, unfair, and unfriendly. However you are f-n hot as hell and so I come back just to see your pictures.

I hope that your son never has to feel bad for being a man, though clearly your site encourages that. I’d hide this from my kids. And it is totally in-appropriate to kiss a BF in front of you kids. What are you teaching him? That relationships don’t matter. That you don’t have to choose well, cause you can toss them out like garbage and get a new one? Seriously you affect your son in ways you don’t even understand. Please act like a mother and think of your kid first.


Chris September 7, 2011 at 10:43 pm

As i saw that hate mail i felt sad for that woman. She just doesn’t understand. Thats the problem people hate because they don’t understand. I know i am behind on this because it was posted a while ago. You are a strong person and i know you want to help single women but being a single day i say thank you…


Lucy McBees October 9, 2011 at 8:59 am

Hi everyone.

Oh, my GOD. It us unbelievable! I am here the new I red your posts and watch videos on youtube and You just fascinated me. I think you should go full-time and be nice teaher. Many thanks and GOD bless you.

Cheers Lucy


Julia December 29, 2011 at 12:34 pm

I bet she picks her nose when noone is looking!


Bodie P January 23, 2012 at 5:11 pm

Single parenting is like anything else–the cup’s half full/the cup’s half empty. It all depends on what you do with the half a cup you have. One of the reasons I wrote a whole book about what a gift it can be to be a single mom (I tremble to think what your hater would have to say about MY waste of time) is that there is a misperception that every single mom is inferior and that every single child of every single mom is going to grow up to steal cars. The reality is that while it is wonderful for children to have to loving, caring parents of whatever gender, the fact is that we don’t live in an ideal world, and sometimes single parenting is the better choice. And that said, single parents never have to worry about a signficant other undermining them in the matter of vegetables, bedtime or nose-picking (hah!–gotcha). Single moms never have to make the decision about where the baby will sleep bases on a SO’s desired for “private time.” Single moms can feed their kids cereal, bananas and milk for supper with impunity. Single moms can choose to let the dishes sit and go play video games with the kid instead. And of course there’s the flip side. A single mom is Always On.

I love being a single mom. I am proud of my son. I blog about us, and he’s a teenager and we live in a small town. We’ve talked about it, and he’s outlined a few areas he’d prefer I’d avoid–and so I do. If I have a question about how he might feel I have him read before I publish, and if he winces even the tiniest bit I. Don’t. Publish. It’s simple.


Hill February 19, 2012 at 9:20 pm

Good job … I love your reply I wish talk with in person.


kate perryman March 29, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Wow, what a hateful person.
Well done to you for taking the higher road.
If she has that much hate towards you, then just block your blog, no one is forcing her to read.
I love your blog, congrats on been able to do anything other thatn wanting to fall asleep after all the duties of being a mum puts on us.
keep writing. xx


Megan April 4, 2012 at 4:36 pm

This is amazing. She deserved every word πŸ™‚


Blimfark Smith June 15, 2012 at 2:52 pm

Another random reader, brought here by the tides of the Internet. I didn’t read all of the comments but (in the unlikely event no one has already pointed this out), permit me to observe that this reads like a letter from Michelle to her herself. There are several possible scenarios, but the one that seems most likely is that she is trapped in a loveless relationship and greatly resents her perception that the author has taken the “easy” way out. Michelle’s statement “As a feminist, I see you only as contributing to the weak factors of women in this world” is so patently ridiculous that it reveals the whole letter to be a projection of her own weakness. (As someone who knows something about the developmentally disabled, don’t even get me started on the unenlightenment of “sounds retarded” as a put-down). It’s a dark message that in no way illuminates its target, but reflects a profoundly sad light upon the letter writer…


MommaMary July 17, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Yea! You go girl!!! Who has time for that nonsense? Who forced her to read it anyway? I’m a new reader and I enjoy your blog. Keep it up, I love it!


Vic September 17, 2012 at 3:00 am

I feel proud of how you handled this. Loads of great info even for someone whos not a single mom like me. Thanks!


Holly M September 25, 2012 at 11:07 am

What an unhappy person. You go girl!


Shavonda Vance May 7, 2013 at 4:48 am


I think we can all agree that truly is what’s going on here. You truly are a strong person to not only respectfully confront people who send you hate mail, but to not let it stop you from who you are and what you’re doing.

God Bless
= )


D March 5, 2014 at 10:53 am

See this is exactly the problem that i have with feminists!… Now Before i come under attack, i should note that i believe that women should be treated as equals with men, as they are!. I was raised in a home where my father taught me to respect and love my mother above all things, he said…. “If you can not respect your mother, how will you respect the mother of your children?.”…. So i grew up in a home where my father led by example and did chores, and helped with the cooking if he had to, even after getting home from a very long day of work, and we were expected to not only do chores, but do laundry, cook and clean our home. So i believe in the beauty of equality both at home and the workplace, both in respect, and as in remuneration. But feminists talk about empowering women, yet they will attack anyone who is not militant like them. They talk about men trying to subjugate women, but yet they insult, offend and attack any woman who expresses her feelings and writes about her insecurities, past relationships, happy moments and everyday life for her. And if you were getting paid to blog, well isn’t that in a sense empowering to you as a single independent woman?, yet she tries to belittle you and attack you!.

That’s why i love strong women, like you and many many of your followers who show emotions, whether be it of happiness or not, a strong woman is a beautiful being filled with emotions. A beautiful and strong woman is one who betters herself everyday. A feminist is just a woman who is angry at the world because of her insecurities and short comings and instead turns onto everything she believes is wrong.. These are my personal believes, and how i view or have come to know and differentiate those so called “Feminists” from a strong woman.

BTW. I am in need of individuals with a good go getter personality, 1 year sales experience is preferable, but we are more than willing to train the right person/s. You can call me directly at 848-666-2093 or add me and message me on Facebook.


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I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.


Bri July 6, 2014 at 9:42 am

My soon-to-be-ex-mother-in-law is exactly like this woman. She was always so critical of me and my children that I’m not quite sure how her children survived. They’re all pretty messed up though, hence, why I’m getting a divorce. But how sad for these women to hate on such a thing anyway. It’s reality. It doesn’t make sense in my case because she is a huge reason why I am getting a divorce and then hates on me for being a single mom.
I guess I just don’t understand why people hate so much. This woman needs to do some reevaluating. She’s so negative and honestly quite sad. If only she could see it through a single mothers’ eyes.
Stay strong and keep writing! I love this blog! It’s a good thing you have so much support! We single moms (and dads) are behind you every step of the way! πŸ™‚


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