My Camera (and My Aprons).

by mssinglemama on March 27, 2009

You’re all asking about the camera. 

I thought you might but I didn’t want to shock you with the sticker price of my newest toy in my last post.

To me, $679.00 is a hell of a lot of money but I splurged on this puppy anyway. Why? Because life is too damn short not to have excellent photographs of your child (if you can afford to have them. Fortunately I can, so I bought it). Three years ago if you would have told me I would be financially ahead again I would have told you, “It takes me three years?”

And then I would have promptly drowned myself in the nearest pond.

Three years seems like a long time when you’re staring down a barrel of your ex-husband’s incredible credit card debt*, have a baby to feed and are living in your mother’s house. Especially when – up until that point – you were completely financially independent and ahead (all. of. the. time.).

So when I paid off his debt last month I decided to invest in yet another life weapon. 

Yes a life weapon. 

Something that makes life easier or better.

A good camera is one of them.  

Here is a picture I took of my apron curtain with my old camera – the Sony Cyber Shot.

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I’ve been using the Cyber Shot for nearly one year now and most of the photos and videos you’ve seen on my blog were taken with it. I love that camera and highly recommend it to all of you. It’s a hefty $229.00 but worth every single penny.

Since buying the awesome Cyber Shot I’ve developed a bit of a passion and craving for better pictures. So I bit the bullet and invested in a Canon Rebel XSi which is about twice as much. I feel like I bought a porsche and have no clue how to drive it… but I’m an Aries – what can I say? And I’m learning, shot by shot. 

Look at the difference already…

aproncurtain

Those are the stories of my two cameras.

I’ll be keeping the Cyber Shot for videos like this one but if I win that Ford Fiesta I may have to upgrade my video camera as well. [They'll be telling me if I'm a Ford Fiesta agent later this week!!!]

P.S. 

I found the apron curtain at an antique fair in Texas years ago.

The entire bundle was only $10.00. When I moved into this apartment I found them packed up in a box, where I’d delicately stored them while packing to leave my husband. Soon the aprons would be in storage along with everything else I owned. I wouldn’t see them again until one year later when I moved out of my mother’s and into Benjamin and I’s first real home.

They’ve been hanging up in that window ever since. 

Each of those aprons carries a piece of the souls of the women who made them. And I think they’d all be very proud of me… of all of us. 

*WARNING TO ALL FUTURE SINGLE MOTHERS:

To avoid having to assume a current husband or soon to be ex-husband’s credit card debt be sure every card he’s using is in his name only. DOUBLE CHECK. The bank may have fooled you when they signed him up for card. Run a credit check on yourself before you even bring up the idea of divorce. Get those things moved around before he suspects that you’re really leaving. Then there’s no way he can run up the card (when it’s in your name), stop paying the bills (when it’s in your name) and risk your credit score. I had no choice but to assume the debt to save my credit score. The court ruled that he would have to pay me back but he eventually went bankrupt and was excused from it all. 

Related posts:

  1. His father wants to take him…I’m freaking out.
  2. The Married Single Mom
  3. Shadows & Light
  4. Single Mom Friday Zen, II
  5. The Dirty Laundry.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Rain, Snow and Wishes | NewSingleMama - Young Single Pregnant Mother
March 28, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Where did it go?
October 4, 2009 at 6:49 pm

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

notasoccermom March 28, 2009 at 3:14 am

The advice wouldnt have helped me Im afraid.
He took over the finances to 'give me a break' didnt pay the house for two months and the car for three. Everything was in both our names, and he emptied the savings. Then left me for another woman, and I didnt hear from him for three months when I was served papers. Good thing I had stock. I didnt gt child support until it hit the $30,000 mark.
But- in the long run- it made me stronger and better on a budget.

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Ms. Single Mama March 28, 2009 at 11:21 am

OH MY GOD>

I just don't understand how any "man" can do something like that to the mother of his child. They should be locked up for something like that. Horrible.

I'm so glad you have a positive attitude about it though. I'm a million times better on my budget than I was before going totally broke. Helps knock you into shape really quick.

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notasoccermom March 28, 2009 at 2:17 pm

It has actually made me stronger. If there is anything I have learned from my trials, it is that I dont need a man like I once thought. I will be in love again one day but not as dependent as I was. My girls have also learned this.
Positive attitudes will get you so much further than roosting in the negative. I only hope to be of help to others in my situation.
He is recently on marriage number three and now wants to be a bigger part of his kids lives, but still on his schedule. Thank you- for the response
Your topics really hit home with me.

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Apples March 28, 2009 at 7:02 am

Even a friendly divorce can send you down the financial drain. My ex and I split pretty much on the friendliest terms you can have for a divorce. However, going from something to nothing is hard. Although I got child support (not regularly till the divorce was final) it wasn't enough to pay the bills and finding a job after being a stay at home mom in our economy wasn't easy. I am scraping buy and patiently waiting for that day I get ahead and my credit score comes out of the dumps that it so easily slipped in after I couldn't pay a few little store credit cards I was left with. It's funny how it takes so long to get your credit score high and so quickly it slips away at the drop of a feather. I went from excellent to poor in just a few months over nothing really!

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Ms. Single Mama March 28, 2009 at 11:23 am

Fortunately I assumed his debt before it affected my credit score… so mine is A+++. Yours will come back… takes time but it will. It is funny how long it takes to get it back, that's why I freaked out and took that debt – canceled the card so he couldn't use it anymore and started making the payments myself. I had worked too hard on my perfect credit to let someone muck it up.

I just thought he was going to pay me back (he told me he would) and the court said he had to but no dice, never happened because of the bankruptcy.

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Jenn March 30, 2009 at 4:35 pm

I live with my parents now because I have a crappy job and can't find another one in this economy, big daycare bills, etc, etc. I don't see I will EVER get to be on my own again.

You are lucky in a way – mine forced me into bankruptcy because he refused to help pay some of it back. Now he is fine and my credit is in the toilet for 7-10 years!!! It makes me even more angry than the divorce! Even better, I have USE of our minivan (in his name because my credit is crap) and I make the payments making HIS credit even better!!!! GRRRRR! I gotta somehow find a dealer to get me a loan for a used car so I can repair MY credit not his!!

It makes my blood boil and he has the gall to fight me over visitation of our son.

FInd a happy place, find a happy place!!! (wish me luck) I just don't know where to start. Sorry for the rant, I am at my rope's end.

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josie March 28, 2009 at 12:29 pm

i am now going to hunt all the thrift stores here in north carolina to find aprons to go with my antique aprons and make a curtain like yours for my kitchen. that is fabulous. i will take pictures of it with my fabulous camera as well :)

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mssinglemama March 28, 2009 at 1:19 pm

And I'm not sure if you can tell but they are all hanging from a metal hanger that has yarn wrapped around it… should be noted. I did not make this curtain, came like this. And I also don't think it was intended to be a curtain at all! ; )

Just hung it there and LOVED it…

Have fun hunting!

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josie March 28, 2009 at 2:53 pm

intended is overrated!

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Jeffra March 28, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Hi, I met you briefly at Matt's playdate in L.A. and have been following your posts. You always have something thoughtful and poignant to say…thought provoking for me, which I always enjoy….but really, I usually think too much. Anyway….I'm thinking about your camera and maybe I am not so content with the one I have now either. My little girl deserves better pics! I'll have to see what the hubby thinks of that! Have a nice weekend with your best, little man!

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Christina March 28, 2009 at 3:52 pm

I learned the lesson on finances with divorce #1 the same way you did. Only I was so young (24) and making such little money that things actually went into charge offs and salary garnishments before they stabilized. It was so bad that banks would not open accounts for me – which is why I am still stubbornly loyal to the one that did take a chance on me.
Women need to learn from the START not to be dependent on anyone – but it's still there in society to encourage women not to be that way. Even women who choose the SAHM route have got to be smart enough to know their financial situation. I will always keep my own set of accounts from now on.

Gorgeous pictures! Congrats on the new camera!

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Lori STL March 28, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Congrats on your fab new camera!!! I love the antique apron curtain. As for your sneaky ex-sorry you had to go thru that and to keep my comment pg I'll leave it at that!

Have great weekend,
Lori

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mom2threeinmd March 28, 2009 at 7:42 pm

I kept my XH off all my accounts, but he still found a way to run up over $100K on all the cards that were in my name only … by forging cash access checks that were sent to me in the mail by my credit card companies. I was also independent and had excellent credit, so the card companies kept increasing my limits until I had a ridiculous amount of open credit. XH also then declared bankruptcy, and I am still paying down all that debt. My career has been in the financial services industry, so I knew that bankruptcy was never an option for me — I need a clean credit report to get the level of job I need. I will also add that XH also drained the savings (was all mine before the marriage), then left me when I was a stay at home mom, with 3 kids (ages 5, 2, and 1), and managed to avoid paying child support for over a year. Oh, and the kicker — even though the house was always in my name, he was due half of the increase in value of it, from the time we were married till the divorce.

Get a prenup!!! And call those credit card companies and tell them not to send those checks to your house. 3 years later, I am still under water.

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mom2threeinmd March 28, 2009 at 7:43 pm

Sorry — this isn't all about me. :) Forgot to add, I LOVE your new camera!!!

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spook March 28, 2009 at 9:46 pm

wow, enjoy the camera. amazing story, truly.

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newsinglemama March 29, 2009 at 12:27 am

What a difference a better camera makes, wow!
My birthday is coming up (I'm an Aries too) and I am thinking of asking my family to splurge on me, we'll see. I really want to take better pictures of my girl.

I don't get men who do that to the mother of their child(ren). I really don't. Where do they learn to be such idiots?

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speedgirl March 29, 2009 at 12:48 am

I would have been in a better financial standing if the economy would have stayed solid. Because "our" house cost so much, he pays half of the mortgage and no child support until the damned thing sells. And he bought a new house, so he has no "extra" money for me to even try to renegotiate (yes, I have looked into that). He is totally content not paying a dime to keeps his children clothed or fed for who knows how long… The ONLY thing I hate about being divorced is the financial strain!

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Spruce Hill March 29, 2009 at 1:35 am

Wow the difference in the pictures is reall big! I just have a little canon powershot and I love it but wish I could afford a really nice camera. It will have to do for now. It does the job.

Very good advice about the credit cards, One of my frineds went through the same thing and was able to cover herself before he saw it coming and it really helped her a lot. One dooes not always think of htese things when you are going through it!

Have fun with the camera. I can't wai to see more pictures!

http://sprucehill.typepad.com/

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Jasperblu March 30, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Oh A, I'm seething w/ jealousy right now. Why? B/c you got the SAME camera as I did for about $250 less!! 'Course, I bought it last year, right after it came out… but still. Waaaaa.

Ok, I'm over it. Ain't it a great camera? And you're right, the difference between it, and my other camera (Pentax Optio SV 5mp pocket digital) is astounding. I keep the Pentax for video, or for quickie outings that I don't want to lug my big camera around to. It takes great pictures even still, but really, the comparison is apples & oranges.

And you know what? I agree. My camera purchase is WAY better than a pair of jeans any day. I have literally THOUSANDS of images of my daughter and they are priceless, bring me great joy, and will provide her with a lifetime of embarrassment down the road.

Regarding credit card debt, exes, and financial freedom. Oh ladies, I cannot tell you how important it is to NEVER, EVER get your credit cards in "joint name"… so many of my friends have been taken by their boyfriends and/or ex-husbands for literally thousands of dollars that THEY had to pay back. My mother, G-d rest her soul, always told me to never, ever co-mingle my money or assets w/ a man. Have a joint checking account for household expenses, yes. But everything else? No frackin' way. Women MUST have assets that are theirs alone. Property too if you can swing it. That's not to say you shouldn't want a man who will provide for you and your children, you SHOULD and you DESERVE it, but Alaina's example of what her ex did to her is just the tip of the iceberg of what men can and will do to their ex wives and worse, their kids. Ugh.

My daughters dad has never provided financially for her, but then he lives in another state & even though we're still technically a "couple", I consider myself a single mother b/c of the lack of financial support, not to mention PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL support by him just being in the same city/state. It's a BIG reason why I never put his name on her birth certificate either. He hasn't won the right to call himself her Father as far as I'm concerned. Not trying to be harsh, but that's the way I feel. I love him, SHE loves him, and he loves us too… to the best he is able. I'm willing to accept that, but I'm not going to be an idiot about giving him the checkbook either. Ya know?

Anyway, I digress. GREAT camera A!

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Momartfully April 1, 2009 at 3:07 am

I sympathize, I could have used this advice a few years ago too. The Ex did the same thing to me. I couldn't believe it, but it happened. After a struggle I climbed out of debt, and I am grateful for the lessons I learned.

And I'm going to have to find some aprons too, because that curtain is just glorious.

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