Comments on: Questions http://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/ Single Mom Dating? Real advice from a real single mom. Thu, 24 May 2012 06:45:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: I’m not out of the woods yet « Tales of a Single Mamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7559 I’m not out of the woods yet « Tales of a Single Mama Tue, 17 Mar 2009 00:31:46 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7559 [...] mentioned the new guy a while back. After reading Ms. Single Mama’s post about red flags for dating single moms, I’m not that impressed with him. He never asks about [...] [...] mentioned the new guy a while back. After reading Ms. Single Mama’s post about red flags for dating single moms, I’m not that impressed with him. He never asks about [...]

]]> By: Greghttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7491 Greg Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:39:08 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7491 This post made me cry. As you know, I am a father who has always been actively involved with my children. Now that I am facing the reality of them living in a different city, I am certain there will be times that my children (ages 2 and 4) will need me and will ask or cry for me. But I will be unable to be there like I so wish I could. This post made me cry. As you know, I am a father who has always been actively involved with my children. Now that I am facing the reality of them living in a different city, I am certain there will be times that my children (ages 2 and 4) will need me and will ask or cry for me. But I will be unable to be there like I so wish I could.

]]> By: melaniehttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7481 melanie Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:53:28 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7481 I'm not a single Mum but my big sister was when I was a teenager and I watched her closely (because we were close). Her son started asking all these questions too and would run up to any guy who was dark skinned thinking he was his Dad. Um, AWKWARD! Anyway, the way my sister dealt with it was to not introduce the guys to her son until they had been dating for a while - a hard situation to do but important since her son would get attached right away to any male figure near by. In fact, I had to do that with boyfriends too because if I broke up with one my nephew would be DEVASTATED and I would feel awful. He's a sensitive soul. However, she did meet a man eventually who was just as interested in her son as he was in her and now they have a wonderful family with two more children. I have to say though, one thing my sister did that always impressed me (especially since she was rather young when she had her son) was rarely said anything negative about his father. She would answer questions honestly (yes, he did quit his job again so he could avoid paying child support etc) but when she needed to rant she would come to me because she knew her son would learn all-too-soon what a shit his Dad was. I'm not a single Mum but my big sister was when I was a teenager and I watched her closely (because we were close). Her son started asking all these questions too and would run up to any guy who was dark skinned thinking he was his Dad. Um, AWKWARD! Anyway, the way my sister dealt with it was to not introduce the guys to her son until they had been dating for a while – a hard situation to do but important since her son would get attached right away to any male figure near by. In fact, I had to do that with boyfriends too because if I broke up with one my nephew would be DEVASTATED and I would feel awful. He's a sensitive soul. However, she did meet a man eventually who was just as interested in her son as he was in her and now they have a wonderful family with two more children.

I have to say though, one thing my sister did that always impressed me (especially since she was rather young when she had her son) was rarely said anything negative about his father. She would answer questions honestly (yes, he did quit his job again so he could avoid paying child support etc) but when she needed to rant she would come to me because she knew her son would learn all-too-soon what a shit his Dad was.

]]> By: Jenhttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7453 Jen Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:05:00 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7453 Again, I am not sure where it came from but I was speachless. I am no longer with him. I left almost 1 1/2 years ago. He remains in her life (on the fringe, but still there). I was young when we met, he had 3 kids, I had my daughter and I thought I could make everything work out perfectly. Blended families are difficult. Well, my situation was anyway. I certainly cannot speak for all. Again, I am not sure where it came from but I was speachless. I am no longer with him. I left almost 1 1/2 years ago. He remains in her life (on the fringe, but still there). I was young when we met, he had 3 kids, I had my daughter and I thought I could make everything work out perfectly. Blended families are difficult. Well, my situation was anyway. I certainly cannot speak for all.

]]> By: thewarriorpoetshttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7416 thewarriorpoets Thu, 12 Mar 2009 18:16:20 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7416 I feel for you, and especially for Ben. I'll keep hoping the right guys can be a masculine influence in his little life until you find the right guy for both of you. I feel for you, and especially for Ben. I'll keep hoping the right guys can be a masculine influence in his little life until you find the right guy for both of you.

]]> By: Ms. Single Mamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7411 Ms. Single Mama Thu, 12 Mar 2009 17:26:30 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7411 Try this link: <a href="http://mssinglemama.com/2008/09/27/dating-single-parents-can-it-work/" target="_blank">http://mssinglemama.com/2008/09/27/dating-single-...</a> Try this link:

http://mssinglemama.com/2008/09/27/dating-single-…

]]> By: CMEhttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7410 CME Thu, 12 Mar 2009 17:11:39 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7410 He is childless and he did meet him very briefly and I could feel a connection between the two of them. I'm not worried about that as much. Thanks for the advice. For some reason I'm not able to access your post from Sept. on the Rules. I agree that there are not steadfast rules, but I enjoy hearing other peoples experiences. Thanks, Alaina. Love your blog! He is childless and he did meet him very briefly and I could feel a connection between the two of them. I'm not worried about that as much. Thanks for the advice. For some reason I'm not able to access your post from Sept. on the Rules. I agree that there are not steadfast rules, but I enjoy hearing other peoples experiences. Thanks, Alaina. Love your blog!

]]> By: jennhttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7408 jenn Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:45:11 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7408 I'm dealing with this too. I think my daughter is close to your son's age (2 1/2) and she asks about "daddy" all the time. The thing is, she's never been around him and I don't know what to tell her. I don't want to say, "You don't have a daddy" because it's not completely true, but in a way she doesn't. I usually just say, "you have a mommy" but recently she asks, "but where's my daddy?" She's too young to know that he's in prison. I don't know what to tell her. I try to change the subject, but that's not very fair to her. I never thought I would have to deal with these questions when she was so young. I'm dealing with this too. I think my daughter is close to your son's age (2 1/2) and she asks about "daddy" all the time. The thing is, she's never been around him and I don't know what to tell her. I don't want to say, "You don't have a daddy" because it's not completely true, but in a way she doesn't. I usually just say, "you have a mommy" but recently she asks, "but where's my daddy?" She's too young to know that he's in prison. I don't know what to tell her. I try to change the subject, but that's not very fair to her. I never thought I would have to deal with these questions when she was so young.

]]> By: wyliekathttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7406 wyliekat Thu, 12 Mar 2009 13:33:10 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7406 Oh boy, does it hurt. It just rips your guts out. Oh boy, does it hurt. It just rips your guts out.

]]> By: Nakiahttp://mssinglemama.com/2009/03/11/questions/#comment-7405 Nakia Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:53:13 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2684#comment-7405 I definitely hear you on the love trifecta. I've been asking myself those same questions alot lately in relation to THE boy that I'm sorta kinda dating right now. I do know that the questions about daddy are ones that come and go at different phases. Our situation is a little bit different (Kaleb's dad has never ever been around). K's discussions about daddy are so business-like, it makes me incredibly sad. "Do I have a daddy?" "So and So has a daddy." "Do all boys have daddies?" It would be nice for the other parent (other parents being the ones who choose not to be around on a regular basis) could see our side of things and love their children enough to make the effort to be a constant presence in their lives instead of just being around when its convenient. Ahhh, deep thoughts for 6am. :o) When you figure out how to answer some of Benjamin's questions, let me know because I could definitely use some help over here. I definitely hear you on the love trifecta. I've been asking myself those same questions alot lately in relation to THE boy that I'm sorta kinda dating right now.

I do know that the questions about daddy are ones that come and go at different phases. Our situation is a little bit different (Kaleb's dad has never ever been around). K's discussions about daddy are so business-like, it makes me incredibly sad. "Do I have a daddy?" "So and So has a daddy." "Do all boys have daddies?"

It would be nice for the other parent (other parents being the ones who choose not to be around on a regular basis) could see our side of things and love their children enough to make the effort to be a constant presence in their lives instead of just being around when its convenient.

Ahhh, deep thoughts for 6am. :o )

When you figure out how to answer some of Benjamin's questions, let me know because I could definitely use some help over here.

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