Comments on: The “wrong” Wal-Mart

By: James

James — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 21:30:08 +0000

Well your fear of shopping at Wal-mart is justified. Today was the last time I will willingly set foot inside again. I've been to all the Wal-marts in my area and they all have given me bad experiences. So there is no wrong Wal-mart – they all are wrong! Not for any reason than the people who shop there. Yes I said it. The people who shop there are the ones that scared me away. Today I was with my wife looking at jewelry and 2 guys walked by and one said to me "you bastard". Last week at another wal-mart, a dark skin black guy creep up and stopped for us to cross the road. Then he starred drove by turned his head again and starred some more. Very scary. Before that other guys in the parking lot starting honking and screaming at me. These are just some of the warning signs and it happens everytime. I've made my wife promise never to return to wal-mart for any reason because it is unsafe and I fear for our safety.

By: Vacation with M: Day One « I Used To Have Hair

Vacation with M: Day One « I Used To Have Hair — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 02:24:14 +0000

[...] off we went to Wal-Mart (and no…not the “wrong Wal-Mart“). After a bit of a discussion about her buying a new Nintendo DS game (I tried to explain [...]

By: Amy

Amy — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 06:24:31 +0000

Very insightful. I would like to think, being one of those people who grew up along side those in the "wrong" wal-mart, that most people are taught to work hard. Maybe some are faced with the choice to work 50 hours a week to afford a shitty apt, leave the children with someone else for 60 hours a week, endure the frustrated stares while buying regular groceries seperate from WIC groceries and holding up the line… or the same person could go on full state assistance, still endure the shitty apartment and judgemental stares, but get to stay home with the children. Nothing will ever change if it continues to be an us and them game. So good job at taking that first step towards we. And don't forget, being poor and rough around the edges doesn't have to mean unhappy as well.

And this was in no way intended to devalue your fear regarding the woman who was attacked. Always let people know where you are going and be aware of your surroundings.

By: dang1

dang1 — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 11:50:46 +0000

We are all just people- we all love, care, hurt, laugh, cry. It is a tragedy that here, in the wealthiest country on earth, many people go hungry. Economic inequality has widened, and insecurity increased, in this country, and to reverse that, begins with those who have more to empathize with those who have less. Funny about the wrong Walmart, there are those on the coasts that consider the interior as..well..kinda like the bridge and tunnel crowd.

By: thewarriorpoets

thewarriorpoets — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 15:16:08 +0000

I didn't get that from MSM's post.

1) She recognized that her use of the word "wrong" was a reflection of her own judgement, and called herself on it. And she regonized that, in her case, motherhood created a bond with people she probably doesn't share much in common with from a socio-economic standpoint.

2) She also reconized that some locations tend to be more unsafe than others for a myriad of reasons, but in this case reasons that include her conspicuously standing out, no one knowing her location, and it being a location that probably had a higher propensity for crime. It's not being judgemental to undestand that some places have an increased risk for crime. It would be judgemental to think an individual had a higher propensity to commit crime based on how they look. She was assessing the location.

Had she come to the latter conclusion but not the former, she would have missed a great lesson in self-analyzation. Had she come to the former conclusion but not the latter, she would be naive. As it stands, she reached the right balance.

By: Cat

Cat — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:48:47 +0000

In my opinion every Walmart is the wrong Walmart.

By: thewarriorpoets

thewarriorpoets — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 08:12:23 +0000

I didn't get that from MSM's post.

Had she come to the latter conclusion but not the former, she would have missed a great lesson in self-analyzation. Had she come to the former conclusion but not thte latter, she would be naive. As it stands, she reached the right balance.

By: Marge

Marge — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 03:51:18 +0000

I'm glad you said this Joy. I think we need to examine what's really going on here. We're afraid of poor people. Poor people are viewed as inherently "dangerous", people who live in the "ghetto" are somehow immoral. They don't "work hard" and they don't share our values.

I'm not saying that I am free from all of these prejudices; it's a prevalent issue in our American society that those with less are marginalized.

I don't think that it makes us any safer to hold onto those prejudices or deny that they exist, so I think MSM is brave to own up to this somewhat. Let's not stop with mothers though, as they are not the only of these "other" people with good in them. We need to value the integrity of all people, whether they happen to be lucky or not.

By: Joy

Joy — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:29:32 +0000

Since nobody else pointed this out, what happend to that women who left that store could happen ANYWHERE, be it Walmart or some fancy Shop in the nicest possible area.

By: thewarriorpoets

thewarriorpoets — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:01:53 +0000

Since women tend to be the best actors I know ((devious grin)), I don't think in that situation it would have been hard to pretend like you suddenly forgot something in your car if you wanted to just leave, or pretend like you suddenly got an important text and then reversed course.

That said, it's important to distinguish between irrational fear based on our own prejudices and listening to that valid little insinctual voice based on an actual situation. Since you were the one there, and only you really know yourself in that way, only you can decide. That said, would I want my loved one in that situation? No.

Either way, my advice to women is when you find yourself in that situation, project confidence.