Old habits.

by mssinglemama on February 22, 2009

They die hard.

morgan1Still haven’t had a cigarette. Went through some major withdrawal attacks this weekend but Morgan was there to cheer me on… and I made it. This is hard though. I miss them already. Those evil little cancer sticks. I’m not sure if I can do this. I’m just not. But I know I don’t really have a choice. Live or die, baby. It’s that simple.

Aside from daydreaming about taking drags from my toxic friends this weekend was incredible.

Morgan and Lucca drove up from Kentucky on Friday night and by Saturday morning it felt like they’d been here forever. She and I are so alike in so many ways, but so different as well. She’s an eternal romantic while I’m a bit of a jaded cynic who protects my heart to a fault (sometimes). But while I know nothing about true love I do know quite a bit about achieving financial independence. So we swapped stories.

She coached me in the ways of love (which I swallowed as best I could) and I gave her pointers on how to “make it” – man or not. [Read Morgan’s version of the weekend here – and see many more photos].

And as for our little guys – they hit it off instantly.


Turns out Benjamin and Lucca could be twins. They are little clones of each other – down to their wild party spirits, penchant for making their mommies laugh, mini tantrums, stubborn dispositions and even their kamikaze acrobatics. They’re little voices even sound the same. I was shocked. Still am.

Check this out.

Photos: [Top photo: Morgan, Lucca and Benjamin in the alley on the way to the coffee shop; Second photo: by Morgan Siler of me, Lucca and Benjamin in my kitchen. See more pictures from the weekend on her Flickr account]

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Venus in Retrograde « Cost of Living
March 2, 2009 at 12:28 pm

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

SavoredLife February 22, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Hang in there…old habits die hard! You CAN do it! 😀

Looks like you four had an amazing time! The video is hilarious….and just wait, the boys will get "crazier"!


Speedgirl February 22, 2009 at 5:58 pm

I met one of my best friends through the 'net too. We live in opposite states, but started talking through comments on a mutual friend's LiveJournal several years ago. That evolved into phone conversations, and a year after our first chat we finally met in person when I flew out to Annapolis to stay with her for 4 days. Since then we have gotten a group of friends together, with our children, for a week's vacation at a cottage and have traveled to see each other a few times. I am SO thankful that we found each other – I can't imagine going through the last 3 years of my life without her!


newsinglemama February 22, 2009 at 8:56 pm

congrats on lasting so long with a cigarette; try to make it to three weeks and you'll be done!


Sheila February 22, 2009 at 9:17 pm

I have a feeling Andre and Benjamin will love each other. 🙂


ModernSingleMomma February 22, 2009 at 11:40 pm

This was the best weekend L and I had in a long time. I feel me again! Thank god for friendships.
(Especially ones with fellow single moms).
And Thank God for the space heater you gave us to borrow. Things are already feeling better in Kentucky now that we aren't freezing our buns off in our bedroom. Can't wait to see you again. Take a look at all our photos from the weekend.


SingleParentDad February 22, 2009 at 11:50 pm

Cool post, cool video. Reads like all you guys had a great weekend.

Likes your kitchen table by the way.


mssinglemama February 23, 2009 at 12:22 am

Here's the story about the table: http://mssinglemama.com/2008/02/25/polka-dot-love… My long time readers know a certain manperson painted it for me…


SingleParentDad February 23, 2009 at 10:11 am

I must be a medium term reader, as I guessed who that certain someone would be!


Bear February 23, 2009 at 1:17 am



The cravings will pass, the suffering will pass. Stay focused. You're responsible for more than just yourself. And I don't mean just Benjamin — you won't be Ms. Single Mama forever. Life is a process of accumulating people who care about you. If you live it well, there will be many of them.

Do it for all of them. The ones you know now, and the ones you haven't yet met but will love one day.


mssinglemama February 23, 2009 at 1:25 am

You're awesome. And so, so wise. Thank you. I actually just found an amazing post by a guy who also went cold turkey, pass it on to anyone else who is ever quitting:



Bear February 23, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Just reminding you of what you already know. Taking an honest look at your vices and resolving to give them up… that's what requires wisdom.


Christina February 23, 2009 at 1:25 am

Been following your tweets about being smoke free and wanted to drop in and say – CONGRATS!!! Stay strong.


Janet February 23, 2009 at 3:35 am

You can do it! The pics and video are adorable. Glad you had a fun weekend.


NewSingleMama February 23, 2009 at 5:24 am

LOL Benjamin's little spill. It didn't even phase him. Hang in there. I know it's hard to quit .. believe it or not I had an issue giving up bad foods and it was hell for me .. sometimes I'd cry! LOL It became easier the more time passed by though


mssinglemama February 23, 2009 at 3:26 pm

Yes… bad/unhealthy foods can often be just as toxic as cigarettes. Fortunately I've got that going for me… I eat well, or so I think. Glad you liked the video!


Katherine SOLOdotMOM February 23, 2009 at 2:49 pm

You both are so awesome. I know the weekend was a blast. Now you both need to make a trip to Virginia sometime! 🙂


mssinglemama February 23, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Oh totally! Benjamin and I's next road trip will be to c-ville actually.


mssinglemama February 23, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Thanks Janet! I'm trying… still going strong – it's Day 6!!!


cyndi February 23, 2009 at 4:24 pm

I spit my drink out when Benjamin went flying off that chair! LOL Mine little guy is the same way. I wish we could take an impromptu trip to sunny CA to meet all the bloggers, but not this time. 🙁


Canadian Bald Guy February 23, 2009 at 11:29 pm

Love the video!! That was awesome. Oh…and great song, too! Glad that everybody had a fantastic time together.


Bear February 24, 2009 at 2:33 am

Checking in.

Stay strong. You're winning. You'll have decades to look back and thank yourself for the suffering you're going through now.


jenny February 24, 2009 at 3:20 am

You dont smoke in front of your kid do you?
Teach them the right thing by not doing it at all.


Ms. Single Mama February 25, 2009 at 1:04 am

I usually hide from him when smoking… but he's definitely seen me smoke. Say no more. That's why I'm quitting. This is a hard battle – but I'm doing it.

And for the record – I hadn't mentioned this before – I completely quit cold turkey the minute I found out I was pregnant.


amyinbc February 24, 2009 at 5:34 am

LIve or die.
Yeah, you have so totally nailed it.


Christine February 24, 2009 at 2:36 pm

the video is awesome…wish i had that kind of energy.

stay strong. short term pain for long term gain. it will be worth it!


movin down the road February 25, 2009 at 2:47 am

too cute. good job on the cigs. And love your new design!


Bear February 25, 2009 at 3:08 am

Be strong. Stay cool.


Bear February 25, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Checking in. Day 8, eh? Superb. You're a champ.


Julie Messinger March 4, 2009 at 12:05 am

Hi! Just found your blog via Matt's blog. I'm a quitter too and couldn't be happier about it! I quit immediately upon learning of my first pregnancy with my little boy (now 3) and then crept back into it a bit after I finished nursing but never started a daily habit again but I was still terrified of being a 'smoker' again….then I got pregnant again and quit that same day too….My little girl is now 11 months old and I am still smoke free…2nd time is a charm! 🙂 Best wishes to you….I know how very hard it is. But we have the BEST reasons in the world to quit….our lovely babies who need a Mommy.


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