I passed the 72 hour mark today.
I know it’s far from over. But I have to do this for Benjamin and for myself.
I have no excuses anymore. Life is easy now compared to then. The road is smooth and there’s not much to fear on the other side.
I just wish I had more chocolate in the house.
Today I ate three giant donuts, half a bag of edamame, half of a mediterranean pizza and half of Benjamin’s chicken nuggets (he made me buy them and then only ate one). I’ve also spent the entire evening scouring through cook books trying to pick new meals to brew up. I just can’t wait to taste something else with my new smoke free taste buds.
I’m just hoping my ass looks somewhat normal by the time this is all said and done. I could stand to gain a few pounds though. I hate being this skinny. It reminds me of the stress. My cheeks are actually supposed to be more fluffy. And I’m skinny because I never find the time to sit down and eat, because I smoke and because I drink way too much coffee. That’s not a healthy skinny. Gaining a few pounds for a properly operating set of lungs seems like a fair trade, especially when it means I may also have the energy to exercise.
And if you re-read my post “A reminder and a secret” it could have been written about cigarettes. Could Cigarette Man have been sent to make me quit? Am I just quiting cigarettes or am I also quitting mysterious bad boy men? Or have I completely lost my mind? That’s entirely possible as well. Really. I feel like a crazy person. Don’t mind me while I continue to take a jog down Nicotine Withdrawal Lane. My symptoms include talking at a quickened pace, letting Benjamin watch a hell of a lot of movies and writing crazy bad blog posts.
If I am boring you to tears please pop over to Kristin at Better Now. She just wrote a fantastic post exploring the want vs. need discussion and the bigger question I ask often, “is a man really worth all of the trouble?” Her vulnerabilities and her strength come through beautifully and I think you’ll all relate to her words… I know I did. Read it here.
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