When the long lost father resurfaces.

by mssinglemama on February 11, 2009

He’s a boy. 

Only 25. 

We were talking stranger talk and I was fumbling through the menu, trying to get my nerves under control (and my stomach) when I asked him his age. The sparkle in his eyes, the blissfully ignorant naivity of youth had given him away on the car ride over. 

“That’s why you’re still single, but for those who don’t – Morgan aka Modern Single Momma – is a light and guiding force for single parents. 

After telling her child’s father about her pregnancy he split. Completely split. He hasn’t even met his son. And now he is threatening to take her to court for custody. 


It’s every single mothers worst nightmare and now, just days after arriving in Kentucky with her amazing man and her son, Lucca (that’s a photo they took on their road trip from Portland) this is happening.

For those of you who don’t know Morgan is the co-founder of iHeartSingleParents.com – the first social network just for us. She created the site along with her best friend Clare for one reason – to build a place for modern single moms and dads. She is, without a doubt, one of our greatest ambassadors. 

Please visit her blog for the entire story and lend your support, advice or whatever you can muster. 

She’s freaking out – as any of us would be.

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

distinctlydrl February 12, 2009 at 3:55 am

Oh, how horrible! My baby's father will not even see me because it freaks him out so much. At this point I cannot imagine him ever wanting any custody but if he changed his mind suddenly and took me to court after choosing to not be in his life it would slay me. I really feel for her.


Canadian Bald Guy February 12, 2009 at 4:00 am

I already told her that this whole thing is just a scare tactic. Any real man would have already accepted responsibility for his actions. And if he thinks threatening to go to court for custody (especially considering the entire back story) is going to help him get out of paying child support, he's got another thing coming.

Seriously…if he thinks having his wages garnished is bad, just wait until he sees his first lawyer's fee.

The guy's an idiot.


xine February 12, 2009 at 5:17 am

what an asshole. i'm sorry to swear, but that's just bullshit. i hope he drops it.


Rahma February 4, 2015 at 3:41 am

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Stacina February 12, 2009 at 7:39 am

Have to agree–any man who really wanted to be a father would've been there before this. I was nearly in a similar situation but luckily–I suppose–fate intervened, life got in the way. But the prospective father still threatened to take legal action, thinking I had taken some action on HIS child without his consent. This made me laugh til it scared me to tears. Guys as insecure as this have no business being parents. Hope Morgan's able to call his bluff.


Siady February 4, 2015 at 10:30 am

My daughter has left her huabsnd. She has moved out taking the two children ages 12 and 8 with her and moved in with her sister. She left taking only the children’s toys and their clothing. She is taking the children back to their old home (huabsnd’s house) 2 or 3 times a week. The children will not stay unless she also stays, sometimes overnight. She is doing this because she is afraid of being charged with abandonment and loosing her children. Does she have valid concerns? I am worried because he verbally abuses the children and has admitted to doing drugs.


phenomenal mama February 12, 2009 at 12:45 pm

Geez. It's hard to believe that crap like this actually happens. Dude doesn't have a hope in hell.


Jim H. February 12, 2009 at 2:42 pm

You know how to make him go away? Let him know that she'll be suing him for all that back child support he never paid. And point out that he'll have to pay until the kid is 18. And like someone else mentioned, lawyers arn't cheap.


Nomz February 12, 2009 at 3:47 pm

Generally, guys like that only come back around because they've talked to some crappy friends that have told them that they can somehow profit from this child if they get full custody. The problem is, most court systems see that the best place is with the mom…and that's when daddy has been IN the childs life. No way, no how, are they going to give custody to a dad that's been MIA. Maybe visitation. But not custody. And if anything, this will encourage and push him to have to pay child support.

Try to find the silver lining (or tell her to if she doesnt read your blog)…this could actually be a good thing. Keep us posted-what a nightmare!


Jess February 12, 2009 at 6:31 pm

If he really wanted to get involved for Lucca's sake he woulda done it sooner and not like this.


ModernSingleMomma February 12, 2009 at 6:40 pm

I am overwhelmed by the support. Thank you Alaina and for ALL of you.
I feel the full army of loyal single parents behind me. That foolish man with his ridiculous threats doesn't realize what he is dealing with.

In all of this muck i feel so much love and grace– once again it is proven to me that there is no better club to belong to than the single parent club.

This is exactly the kind of support Clare and I envisioned just over a year ago when we created iHeartSingleParents.com. Thank you for showing me that single parent friendship, support, empathy and guidance is alive and well.

oh how I LOVE you all!


LucasGo February 12, 2009 at 8:05 pm

No sane court could ever grant someone full custody after he totally flaked and ran away from his responsibilities. Does he want full custody though? Surely not?

If so, I'm amazed how someone could be so selfish to try and take the child away from the only parent he's ever known.

It's a baseless threat though.


DesperatelySeekingMe February 12, 2009 at 9:38 pm

No way he's going to get custody, unless the judge is a whacko. But wow, what a nightmare…I can't imagine anything worse. I feel serious disgust for someone who would use their child in such a way.


mama_crazy February 13, 2009 at 8:51 am

There's no way he's going to get custody!!!!! I'm going to have to go de-lurk on her blog now and offer support….

By the way, did I mention that you're awesome?


Khaeri February 3, 2015 at 3:43 am

My cousin and I just found out that our sposues have been having an affair, this is not the first for her. They have two children ages 13 and 9, she is planning on moving in with my husband, they have a place together. My cousin agreed to joint custody if she broke it off with my husband, but she refuses and insist on figthing him on this matter. My cousin has known my husband for 26 years, so he has seen his behavior and knows his temper. In April of 2002 he was arrested for trying to come after me to kill me, he was stopped by the police and had the loaded shotgun in the car, he tried running over the cop to get away and finish me off. Will my cousin have a hard time getting sole custody and supervised visitation to make sure he is not around his boys? My husband is certain that with the money he is giving my cousin’s wife she will win custody. We were divorced in 2004, but remarried in 2007, can I use my divorce papers showing my divorce on grounds of mental and physical cruelty? I just want to make sure his kids are protected, and my cousin’s family is very supportive and he has an excellent job, so taking care of the kids on his end won’t be a problem. Any advice will help. We are in the process of finding divorce lawyers and we have documented proof of the affair.


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