“No worries.”

by mssinglemama on February 5, 2009

That’s what the man from the plane told me. 

single-mom-dateHe hadn’t waited too long to call. On Wednesday morning I found a blinking voice mail on my office phone. I never get calls at work (I’m a writer) so I knew it was him. 

“Hi, it’s (man yet to be named) from the plane. I just wanted to see how you were. And I’d like to take you to dinner on Thursday night, so if you’re interested just give me a call.” 

Sweet. Very sweet. And that took guts. I like guts. And manners. Very much a gentlemen. But Thursday night. No way. Or Friday, Saturday or even Monday night for that matter. He would have to wait until Tuesday to see me again and I’d have to tell him why.

Besides I despise beating around the bush or hiding anything. I also like to rip open my presents or any package – even if there’s nothing good inside – just because I like opening them. It’s weird. If you ever want to torture me just dangle a fresh Federal Express box in front of my face. I’ll freak out. 

So I just told him.

“I’d love to have dinner with you,” I said when I called, “but Thursday night won’t work for me, it will have to be Tuesday. My schedule is kind of weird. I didn’t realize until we’d went our separate ways at the airport but I completely forgot to tell you that I’m a single mom. I have a three-year-old son.”

I know my voice was glowing when I said those last three words – can’t help it. Then I continued taking hints from my own playbook.

“I think it’s quite awesome actually, but you never know…,” then I just trailed off.

I do that a lot.

I’ll just stop mid sentence all of the time, especially when I think I’m about to say something I shouldn’t. 

“Oh, no worries,” he said immediately. “So Tuesday night. How about 7:00?” 

No worries. Just like that. Without any hesitation. He was still at work when I called so we had to rush off of the phone, which is fine with me (phone chit chat with dates strangers drives me nuts).

So there you have it my single mamas. 

No worries. Like I’ve always said, if a man is interested he will not care that you’re a single mom. And if he does, he’s not worth your time. 

I’m nervous as hell though.

It’s a dinner date. With a normal guy. Who I did not meet while under the influence. It’s been a while and I think I’m a little rusty. Don’t expect a major report here unless it’s a complete abomination.

No news is good news (depending on your point of view). 

I would just hate to screw anything up if he found this blog. 

Oh, and by the way… telling a guy that you’re a single mom pales in comparison to telling him your hobby is writing about your life (love and all) on a blog read by – how many people? – oh, just a couple – uh – a couple  thousand. Really. It’s no big deal. But, did I mention that my blog is my boyfriend?

Um, yeah – there’s that too. 

Follow up reading: How to Date the Childless

P.S. 

You’re not going to believe this. But some crazy person thinks my blog is one of the Top 100 Must-Read Blogs by Women. I’m actually listed above Dooce and Pioneer Woman in the Humor and Commentary category. I think they must have been smoking something.

{ 5 trackbacks }

Dating and the single mother
February 7, 2009 at 6:56 pm
The First Date
February 8, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Modite by Rebecca Thorman - Real-life disclosures on the myth of work/life balance
February 9, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Oh boy.
February 11, 2009 at 8:49 am
Real-life disclosures on the myth of work/life balance | Bizzy Women
February 12, 2009 at 7:21 am

{ 68 comments… read them below or add one }

Barb Jacobucci February 6, 2009 at 4:22 am

I smiled as I read your post. Enjoy a wonderful evening!

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mssinglemama February 6, 2009 at 4:46 am

So glad I made you smile! That's awesome.

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MorseMusings February 6, 2009 at 4:25 am

Don't mention the blog on Tuesday … glad you thought of that.

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mssinglemama February 6, 2009 at 4:45 am

Oh, hell no. Saying "I have a blog" on a first date screams crazy. Unless, of course, he were a blogger himself – which I highly doubt.

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Anna February 6, 2009 at 4:35 am

Have fun, lucky girl!

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mssinglemama February 6, 2009 at 4:46 am

We'll see if I'm lucky or not… but I'm thinking – judging just by the plane butterflies that it will be a wonderful evening. He's such a sweet heart too.

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Nidheeshp February 4, 2015 at 4:57 pm

Just realised you did not have our e’mail ardedss for the previous e’mail extolling the many virtues of your Moroccan chicken tagine with cinammon and sultana cous cous please contact, if possible many thanks in anticipation.Moira Weir (Mrs)

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pa buy cialis April 3, 2015 at 12:32 pm

Je me demande bien lequel des deux s’est le plus amusé !? ^^ Mais a-t-il vraiment essayé de bien faire ? Etait-il satisfait du résultat ??A propos d’homme et de maquillage, j’ai assisté le week-end dernier à la Gay pride de Nantes, lors de laquelle défilaient des drag queen, et en matière de maquillage c’est très, comment dire, impressionnant !!! Impossible de deviner qui se cache sous ces couches de fond de teint ! Bonne continuation Mathilde !Olivia

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Nicole February 6, 2009 at 4:54 am

That's so awesome!!
Have a great night out, I hope you enjoy every second of it!

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Joan from the Phils. February 6, 2009 at 5:14 am

of course. personally, i think its a must-read blog. its very inspiring, in all aspects. dating, men, relations, beauty, sex, love, etc. im so glad i stumble upon this. i found your blog thru matt's. im his avid reader too. now i have 2 blog addictions. 😀

oh, and enjoy your date. he might be the one. *wink*

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keeshabee February 6, 2009 at 6:01 am

Great news! Have a blast on your date 🙂 Can't wait to read about it next week.

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mssinglemama February 6, 2009 at 12:36 pm

I may not write much – we shall see. Just an advance warning on that.

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jenn February 6, 2009 at 6:10 am

Yay. I think I like him already. Of course I'm not the best judge when it comes to men…

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Apples February 6, 2009 at 6:43 am

WOO-HOO so what # date do you tell them about the blog boyfriend? haha!

BLAH! They have Ann Coulter higher on that list then you! They got it all wrong. 😛

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Apples February 6, 2009 at 6:46 am

Well… I know its different categories but still… 😉

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mssinglemama February 6, 2009 at 12:36 pm

I know, the list is really odd and I hate that she's on there. I doubt she even really writes her own blog.

Oh and I usually don't tell them about the blog until I am sure I'll be seeing much more of them in the future.

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Sheila February 6, 2009 at 7:47 am

Well, that's exciting news! 🙂

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Christopher February 6, 2009 at 11:21 am

Congrats on the Top 100 Must Read Blogs by Women.

Rumor has it you may also be on the Top 100 Blogs Guys Read But Don't Admit They Read.

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mssinglemama February 6, 2009 at 12:34 pm

I concur.

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mssinglemama February 6, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Ahhhhhh! Don't say that. "The One" freaks me out. Read this:

http://mssinglemama.com/2008/11/18/do-you-still-b

And I'm so glad you found me!

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Tricia February 6, 2009 at 12:45 pm

have a good time. You've given me hope! 🙂

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bad mummy February 6, 2009 at 1:28 pm

Can I point out that the way this sentence reads, it makes it sound as if you didn't realize you have a kid? 😀

"I didn’t realize until we’d went our separate ways at the airport but I’m a single mom. I have a three-year-old son.”

I studied editing 😉

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Ms. Single Mam February 6, 2009 at 2:44 pm

Major typo. Left out a bit there. Will fix immediately. Thank you.

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wyliekat February 6, 2009 at 2:33 pm

I remember talking about my parenthood to the first guy I dated after I split up with my ex (who was childless). I asked him if it was weird to him that I was a parent. His comment? At this age and stage, it would be more weird if you *weren't* a parent.

I've haven't thought twice about it since.

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wyliekat February 6, 2009 at 2:33 pm

Oh and by the way? His onscreen name obviously has to be Flyboy.

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Ms. Single Mama February 6, 2009 at 2:45 pm

I've heard men say that before too… they kind of expect us to be divorced or childful at this age.

I love Flyboy… we shall see. The names usually just come to me. But I like that one.

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littlemansmom February 6, 2009 at 3:17 pm

Well first of all….OF COURSE IT'S A MUST READ FOR WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are awesome! (but we all know that already! LOL)

Now, YAY for you!!!!!!!! I hope this date goes well! 🙂 I love 'no worries'….it's an awesome phrase when spoken with ease…..

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Shiona February 6, 2009 at 3:39 pm

You've given me hope as well :). Hope that we hear no news. Way to make the list!

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:29 am

So glad you have some hope.

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Lauren February 6, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Good luck! I definitely said the words "my daughter" in a sentence when Ice Skating Guy and I were talking, but the phone number exchange and setting up a date still happened.

I hope you have a great time — this guy sounds great already!

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:29 am

I totally have to get over to your blog and check in on you. Who is this Ice Skating Guy?

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Lauren February 7, 2009 at 2:24 am

Oh, he's really new — someone I met just last weekend. There's definitely a post (I think the third post down the page) where I have the story on how we met. (We're meeting up tomorrow evening!)

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Rebecca February 6, 2009 at 3:53 pm

This sounds promising! But if it doesn't work out, here's what you do – find a guy that writes a blog too. Then he will totally understand! My boyfriend and I both blog and work at start-up companies. Which, okay, doesn't really make things any easier except that he doesn't care when I blog about him 🙂

PS- I just started reading your blog and love it!

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:28 am

That is so cool. Lucky you! It would be much easier if they completely understood. Dooce and her husband both blog…

So glad you found me!

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Lisa D February 6, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Oh for freaking exciting! I love it – 'no worries' – love it, love it, love it. I would love an update after Tuesday, but also completely understand and respect your need for privacy. Very exciting, though, Alaina! 🙂 So what are you going to wear!!!!!!

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:27 am

No idea what I'm going to wear. I'll have to pick out my outfit the night before… hoping all of this ice and snow will melt by then.

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Asha February 6, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Good Luck!!! Sounds like its going to be awesomeness…. And you have to tell us at least that it went well!

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:26 am

I will. I'll tell you how it went either way. It's just so funny to have so many people waiting in anticipation of one little date. But this one – this one I have a few butterflies for… I'm excited!

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Karissa February 6, 2009 at 4:07 pm

I have assumed before that some guys would like to date me because they know, as a single mom, that I might put out 🙂

Can't wait to hear how it went, and in the meantime, have a great weekend!

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Court February 6, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Hott mama!

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April February 6, 2009 at 4:35 pm

I'm so excited for you – new territory, the anticipation, ahhhhh!!!
I hate to have to wait till Wednesday to find out how it all went! UGH!!

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:24 am

Me too. I'm just as excited as you are (I think). Urgh.

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Katherine SOLOdotMOM February 6, 2009 at 5:05 pm

This is great. And yes I am finding out the hard way I should keep my blog a secret from people I date/hang out with … but sadly it never seems to work out that way! Oh well…. it's keeping it real though! 😉

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:24 am

I've found that as soon as I trust a guy, I can tell him… and with one exception every one has been comfortable with my blog. Typically that's because there's nothing I would write on here that I wouldn't say to his face – good rule to live by.

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noringsattached February 6, 2009 at 6:48 pm

You totally made my Friday!! Hope you have a great weekend and a fabulous date!

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zeghsy February 6, 2009 at 6:53 pm

congrats! have fun. be relaxed and the wonderful you you are. 🙂

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:23 am

I'm going to try!

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Canadian Bald Guy February 6, 2009 at 8:38 pm

Yay!

Good for you, MSM. That's awesome. The one phrase, "No worries", immediately tells me that he doesn't care that you're a single mom. And I would like to think that as a man matures (hey….SOME of us do!!) that the whole stigma of an "instant family" isn't a big deal in the slightest.

Maybe it's because I'm a parent myself, but when I decided to start dating again after my separation the thought of meeting someone that I could connect with on multiple levels was MUCH more important than whether or not they had children.

Again…maybe it's because I'm a parent myself, but at some point in your life there are just other priorities that you need to have when it comes to happiness. Meeting someone who has children doesn't scare me, not should it if I'm interested in the person…as "man from the plane" seems to be.

Now blogging about it all? Yeah…*THAT* could be the issue. Best of luck with that. 🙂

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:23 am

Everyone read his comment again slowly. Awesome. Thank you.

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Seeking Me February 6, 2009 at 9:38 pm

I found your blog on that top 100 list and am so glad I did!!! I've been looking for blogs written by single moms, and I love yours!!

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:22 am

Your blog is amazing – so fantastic that you're writing about your divorce as you go through it. Hang in there.

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:25 am

That's such a myth… I think anyway. Most guys think I'm less likely to put out because I'm a single mom. I think they assume I have too many responsibilities. Maybe I'm completely naive to that.

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 1:29 am

I love that phrase too. Definitely a good one.

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Shana February 7, 2009 at 3:35 am

Oh I know how you feel… I have a first date on Valentines Day no less. He is cool with the fact that I have a son, but whether I am down with him remains to be seen. Either way, I am looking forward to it. Beyond that, I have a new case of "the friskies" or surplus of hormones these days. I am not sure if it is because I am FINALLY starting to date after my divorce, or if it that mid thirty sexual peak that they speak of. Maybe you can give your thoughts on that. In the meantime I am going to try to keep my hormones under wraps on my date and wish you luck on yours…

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MorseMusings February 7, 2009 at 4:00 pm

I think it's natural and normal to respond to needs for sex … and I realize how seldom it's relevant to the bigger picture in my life. Take things with a grain of salt and enjoy these moments in life. If I'm attracted to someone I am. Making it a life or death matter steals my joy every time.

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 5:00 pm

It is natural. The tricky part is differentiating between love and lust. That's where things can get messy. Just as long as you realize you're "frisky" and that's why you're so attracted to that certain man can help. I keep close track of my cycle every month too – that really, really helps. Wish I could write or say more about all of this but – not yet – want to keep my day job.

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OK, now that I can finally view it…I have to say that I’m less bothered by the unintelligible singing (hell, I couldn’t understand much of Kurt Cobain either until I got the Nirvana Unplugged CD) than some around here. But could they maybe, I don’t know, hire a REAL choreographer? Or did they use Paula Abdul on one of her bender days to plan out that mess?

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A Free Man February 7, 2009 at 6:17 am

Was your guy from the plane an Aussie? Because I hear 'no worries' about 5,000 times a day down here. And g'day. And 'cheers'.

Thanks for your visit to my site, glad you did because I found my way over here.

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Penelope74 February 7, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Girl, I can't believe that if the date goes well that you're goingto hold out on us. Seriously.

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Marjorie February 4, 2015 at 6:05 am

HiJust wondering if you still have a happy hour bwteeen 5-8pm everyday. and if so, what are typical prices for pints/bottles? We will be visiting Edinburgh for a few days next week from Ireland, so a place with good food and cheapish drinks makes sense.ThanksTrevor

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MorseMusings February 7, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Seriously, I think it's important to mention why Mr. Man failed at some point.

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ModernSingleMomma February 7, 2009 at 4:44 pm

I'm not surprised that your blog is listed as a must-read! It is. SO happy for you and the way you kick-ass.
Hey….and this morning when I was lying on the air mattress in between Man from Kentucky and L, I thought, "I get to visit Alaina soon!" YEAHHH!
very excited to hang out with you and Benjamin.

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 4:58 pm

I know it! I can't wait!!! Seriously. Maybe even next weekend… but you guys should get settled in first. I could also come help you unpack.

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mssinglemama February 7, 2009 at 4:57 pm

I know. It's just his privacy I'm concerned about… and mine. But it is only fair that you all have some kind of explanation. I will think on it and find the right time and words.

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~Monica February 9, 2009 at 2:34 am

Gack … I miss my time reading through my fave blogs and then all this happens! Exciting – I need to catch up : )

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Juggle Jane February 9, 2009 at 4:13 am

"Like I’ve always said, if a man is interested he will not care that you’re a single mom. And if he does, he’s not worth your time". <—– I love this! It's become one of my mantras!

I would like to cast my vote for "Flyboy" as his official nickname!

Have a great time!!!

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