I landed here today by way of another blog and have quickly read everything I can find about your story. It is truly heart wrenching. I am married with a two year old daughter, and all I can think as I read is "What if it were me and her? What would I do?!"

I ache for you. I sincerely hope that you are able to find someone better suited, more loving and responsible and caring than him. I want so badly for you and your daughter to be happy, even though we've never met, even though I have just found you this morning through your writing.

Bless you. You are strong. You have a tidal wave of women backing you up here on this site, and I'm sure in your real life as well. Your little girl has an amazing role model in YOU. I hope you start your own blog! I'd love to read more about your journey.

Mia you discribed perfectly for so many of us in this situation, my partner and I also broke up and later I discovered the same, he was with a younger (12 years than me) coworker..
It is now 3 years after that moment, I was devastated but I felt like you that I just wanted to get to the stage that we could be friends and co parent.

I can tell you life does get easier, I eventually forgave him and his girlfriend (he is still with her ) I actually think they are better suited than he and i were, and despite the beginning we all have moved on and try to do the best we can to parent together..

Many warm loving thoughts to you, once the numb feeling fades, and the anger fades.. you’ll continue to realise so many more things, so you are right, it really is the start of getting to know yourself again..

Life can only be lived fowards, but understood backwards…

This might sound strange but don’t take his affair and leaving you too personally. While each relationship has its own unique dynamic, each person is ultimately responsible for his or her actions.

I went through a similar situation last year with my wife. She tried to deflect her guilt by pointing the finger at me. It was devastating. My road back to mental / emotional health started with a friend encouraging me to read the book ‘The Four Agreements’ It was an eye opener and actually has a lot to say about relationships.

My story with him is LONG over however. My latest breakup was confusing, heartbreaking and CONFUSING!

You see. My ex had been divorced TWICE from the same person. Both times she had left him for the SAME guy. Then SHE would dump him and divorce him for him, then he would break up with him. The second time he married her they got pregnant. The boyfriend made a comeback and she went back (which led to the second divorce). Again, she dumped him. During all this time we were friends. Eventually our relationship went from friends to more than. I bonded with his son whom he had shared custody of. (this was after the second divorce). Well when we made plans of moving in together. And she had again been dumped by the boyfriend. She decided that HE was putting his family aside and wanted him back. I laughed when he told me at first, because we had talked about the fool me once fool me twice thing.

Then it started. He started to do the MAN thing with being a total dick to try and get me to dump HIM. It didnt go over. He was too nice to push that too much. But I knew something was going on. Yes, he was cheating on me with his conniving cheating twice ex-wife who managed to talk him in to making it work again for the sake of the family.

I still think he is a great guy, and most definitely a great father because I dont think she could have pulled that crap without the kid as an incentive.

When he told me he loved her more than he loved me and he just HAD to try again it was like he stuck a knife in my heart. How could he love someone who had hurt him so badly? TWICE!

I am recovering, but still reeling at the same time. I had plans with him. We wanted a life together.

And I too tried to call to understand, but after he broke up with me he never contacted me again (assuming the wife third time has something to do with that)

I wish I had never became more than friends with him. Because the loss of his friendship was WAY worse than being dumped. He was a constant in my life before we took that next step. We were there for each other. Bonding with who I thought would be my step son eventually has broken me as well.

The kicker? When he broke it off he said to me that if things didnt work out with his wife three times now that he hoped that we could try and make it work again. In a moment of anger and sadness I lashed out and told him that I am NOT HIM. You dont get to do this twice let alone three times to ME. Then I called him a pussy. As it stands now I do in fact think he is a pussy and am glad I said it. I probably wont know if my prediction that she would do it again comes true because our friendship is broken now too.