There is a GREAT book on sleeping called “The No Cry Sleep Solution.” There is the original book, and there’s also a newer version called something like “The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers.”

The author offers all kinds of gentle ways to approach sleep, including both co-sleeping and getting children to sleep in their own beds. She is pretty pro-co-sleeping, but also acknowledges that that arrangement might not work for everyone. The thing I like about it is that she really gives so many different options to try so you can find something that works for you and your child.

I think co-sleeping can be really great, and I’ve been sleeping with my son since he was an infant. He’s now 3 1/2. Co-sleeping promotes a good bond between parent and child, and it’s nice to have him right there next to me.

That said, there are times when I do feel like it would be nice to have the bed to myself, like when he’s not sleeping well and whines and kicks all night. But I know that these baby years will pass by in a flash. He’s not going to be wanting to sleep in my bed when he’s a teenager! (Or at least I hope not.)

In many other cultures, sleeping all together in a family bed is VERY common. I remember being somewhat shocked when, about eight years ago, I dated an Indian guy and discovered that when his parents and 18-y-o brother visited his home, they would all sleep together on the floor together, pretty much like sleeping in the same bed. And he was in his 20s! Once I got over my surprise, I decided that it was sort of nice to be so close to one’s family.

I haven’t dated since I was pregnant with my son over four years ago (something that’s quickly rising to the top of my TO-DO list), but I suspect that co-sleeping might change a bit if I were to secure a steady boyfriend. What I imagine doing, however, is putting my son to sleep in his bed (where we both usually sleep), and once he is asleep, sneaking off to MY bed (which is rarely used now) to have a little, ummmm, adult time. I still haven’t quite figured out how that would work, though, as I definitely don’t want my son to be privy to anything that’s inappropriate or have the idea that mommy has men staying over frequently. It would have to be a very committed relationship, maybe even engagement or marriage, before I’d let him be aware that someone was spending the night.

So, don’t feel guilty about letting him sleep with you.

What I would caution you about, however, is putting him in his room to cry for a few minutes before you give in. You need to decide whether you want him in your bed or not, and then stick with that. If you are making a half-hearted attempt to get him back into bed, then giving in, you’re simply teaching him to tantrum, cry, or scream until he gets his way. If 2-3 minutes of that worked one night, and the next night it doesn’t, he will probably up the ante to 5-10 minutes of screaming. This is something I learned from a child psychologist that I occasionally see. I was definitely teaching my son to tantrum by giving in to his tantrums occasionally. This can snowball into a BIG mess!

Isn’t parenting FUN! ~

“I guess I’ll just figure it out as I go, along with everything else.”

That is parenting in a nutshell.

Enjoy it because they are grown before you know it.

We’re apart most days while I’m at work, so co-sleeping brings us back together again. Some nights I wish I had the bed back to myself, but I always remind myself that childhood is short and soon enough he’ll be old enough to want to be away from me!

I will be doing the gradual weaning as well when it comes time to sleep in the newborn bed. I hope it works.

My oldest, my daughter was there out of necessity at first because we lived with my parents and I was breastfeeding. It was convenient and then something I just got used to.

After a while I was ready for her to move into her own bed when we got our own two-bedroom apartment but she wasn’t having it. I got all the warnings and ranting from family and friends but I didn’t cave in.

We bonded very well and she was the happiest kid around. Very socialble and secure with very little separation anxieties, I guess cause she knew she would have me all to herself at the end of the day.

When my son came along I had to put my foot down because I wan’t going to cram all three of us in the bed together. She fought me tooth and nail and I felt like a horrible mother to abandon her but at four years old she needed her own space and I needed mine.

One day I told her that she was to stay in her bed and that was final. She cried and even cursed me out about it (long story that I will share another time). But she finally got the message and stayed in her bed.

My son was easier. He preferred and prefers his own space. I didn’t have to fight him to stay in his own bed. Every now and then he will want to cuddle or put a sleeping bag on the floor in my room for a “sleep over” but for the most part he loves his room and is content. Both kids have a strong bond with me and are pretty well adjusted socially.

The length of the co-sleeping thing will vary with each child. I suggest a gradual weaning away if you have a high-needs child though and constant reassurance of your love and availability at any other time of the day.

I also remember being 7 and wanting more then anything to co-sleep and i was only allowed on nights when my dad was out of town.. Then i remember being 12 and wanting to not only sleep in my own bed but lock my own door.
The time will come when they want to be left alone so why not cherish the time when they want to cozy up…

Anyways … all 4 of my kids have co-slept with me. Even while I was married. I personally love it and they do also. We are a cuddle family.

My kids range from 5-17 yrs old and as far as I can see not one of them as been ruined. They are all fully capable of putting themselves to sleep alone in their own beds.

I think as long as you are comfortable with it I say let it happen. He will not co-sleep with you forever