I want to date – but I can’t.

by mssinglemama on January 11, 2009

Another video response to one of your questions.

This one is from a single mom who really, really wants to get back out there, but she can’t bring herself to do it. 

I hope this helps! If anyone has any questions just e-mail me at mssinglemama@gmail.com.

To read about my first post-divorce dating experience click here.

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Well shit… « Li’l CyndiLu Who?
January 14, 2009 at 11:25 pm

{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy In Sedona January 11, 2009 at 7:49 pm

Thank you so much! It means alot, Rian is my little girl btw, anywho THANKS!


mssinglemama January 11, 2009 at 7:58 pm

Oh shit! Sorry Amy… hope it helped and keep me posted.


Dawn January 11, 2009 at 8:12 pm

I loved it. The whole video response is ultra personal, up close … addressing the fear issues … COOL!

I adore the advice: The two of you initially meet in public; you’re in control of how things proceed; come back home to your little one and decide things from there.

Best to you Amy in planting male friends in your garden … what would the world be like without them!


carmen January 11, 2009 at 9:53 pm

thank you–you are awesome!


T January 11, 2009 at 10:00 pm

Great advice Alaina! Good luck Amy!


Zoeyjane January 12, 2009 at 2:51 am

That was great advice – and pretty much EXACTLY what I needed to hear, myself. Coffeeshop, one hour, eh? Hmm.


CME January 12, 2009 at 8:58 am

Awesome…thanks for the reminder about fear. Fear plays such a huge roll in my life. It’s easy to get caught up and in my head. I’m going on a coffee date on Thursday and I’m going to watch this video again, then.


jessica January 12, 2009 at 1:30 pm

First time here. Single mother. Hard, very hard sometimes. Nice to have a place to come to where I don’t feel like i’m so alone on this stuff.


Bridgette January 12, 2009 at 3:54 pm

This is a good entry and I will try to remember it. I can tell this is the direction I am headed as far as my outlook on men and dating and maybe later on this will remind me that it’s OK to try love again 🙂


Susan January 12, 2009 at 7:30 pm

Well said!

(And she’s so photogenic and articulate, too!) 🙂


Apples January 13, 2009 at 1:41 am

This summer it will have been 2 years since the ex and I went our own ways. I have not dated at all. I came close and chickened out. I am glad I waited however I think its been far long enough time. I figured out what I needed to, however, now I am just so super busy I cannot find time or energy to date. To be honest part of it is that fear. Sometimes I think its easier being alone.


yvonne January 13, 2009 at 9:28 pm

Great advice. I especially like setting a time limit for the initial outing.


MindyMom January 13, 2009 at 9:31 pm

Great post and good advice. Good luck!


Ms. Single Mama January 13, 2009 at 9:47 pm

Apples – you have GOT to read the book “Getting Naked Again.” I just got my copy today and I can’t put it down.

Enter my Fresh Start Contest for a chance to win one, okay?

A lot of the book focuses on letting go of that fear. Something that is so hard because being alone is definitely easier.


Sheila January 15, 2009 at 3:27 pm

I like the idea of keeping it to a time limit. You know, that is such a benefit of having kids –automatic escape plans! Love it!


LucasGo January 17, 2009 at 2:50 am

Great advice – the time limit is an excellent idea.

It took me awhile after my ex and I split about 5 years ago. Actually about 2 years before I could entertain the notion of a serious relationship. Eventually you need to just go for it, and you’ll see it’s actually { mostly } really fun dating again.

I’m 28 and single again at the moment, can be tough sometimes being a young single dad, my recent ex broke up with me because she realized she couldn’t handle the fact that I had two children with another woman and that they are here to stay and nothing is going to change that. That was a heavy blow though!

I’m taking a break from dating for the moment but pretty excited at the same time about the possibility of meeting someone amazing, eventually!

Don’t force yourself to do anything just yet if you’re not ready, but if you really want to get out there again, just go for it, you’ll have some fun and make some friends along the way at the very least!


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