Comments on: Houston…

By: Angie

Angie — Wed, 06 May 2009 03:49:58 +0000

awww, poor baby. the seas of single motherhood aren't easy to navigate. sniffle sniffle. and removing your child's father from her life will do her wonders! Way to go, Heather! Rock on!

By: The Easter Man

The Easter Man — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 01:18:00 +0000

[...] Benjamin and if he wants his dad then he gets his dad. And even though my ex-husband has even expressed desires to go back to Canada, he’s still here. And I shouldn’t deprive my son of his father while he still has one [...]

By: Laurie

Laurie — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 04:21:51 +0000

You know, I read your post and the first thing I thought was, "This man is a lunatic". There is something about him that just feels "wrong", even though I've only read a few words about him. It may not be his fault, but it also isn't your responsibility to fix him, as some have suggested. There is only so much you can do for another person. It's far better to expend your energy on emotionally healthy pursuits then emotional dead ends.

I feel your husband in Canada would be a far better solution. I've only begun to read your blog this evening, sort of skipped around, but I understand your point. Yes, children are resilient. But they also benefit heavily from healthy, happy environments. They are emotional barometers and there is no way he would not pick up your stress about the uncertainties with Dad living so close. Your child's safety and welfare in all areas are of paramount importance and your ex's needs pale in comparison. It's a no contest situation in my opinion.

Were it me, I would feel intense emotional relief to have him gone.

By: Going, going, gone

Going, going, gone — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:15:21 +0000

I wish I could give my ex a good shove, too, out in front of an on-coming bus. Of course I never would. That would just be wrong. He just informed us he is moving in with he girlfriend and couldn't even promise our daughter that she would have a bed in their new house. She told me she would have to sleep on the floor in the basement. Mind you the basement is finished and she would be sharing a room with his girlfriends daughter but I mean, come on, tell her she's gonna have a bed. I had to promise her myself that if daddy couldn't get her a bed I would buy one for her. Idiot.

By: Nydia

Nydia — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 07:23:55 +0000

My goodness! I do not envy your situation w/ your ex …

The baby in the bra …. Priceless!

I thought my boy parading around in my shoes was bad but this … this totally trumps it … I love the mini-tantrum that was caused by you not letting him wear it to school LOL … I just love that!

By: Bye, Bye Daddy?

Bye, Bye Daddy? — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 06:28:39 +0000

[...] Have you been thinking about Canada? Have you made up your [...]

By: Reality.

Reality. — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 05:02:54 +0000

[...] Houston… [...]

By: mssinglemama

mssinglemama — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 01:18:22 +0000

Adam – I hear you. Believe me. I always focus on the positive points and am constantly complimenting on my ex on what he does right. But if I ever try to talk to him about anything (and it’s been nearly three years) regarding Benjamin he doesn’t listen. If you knew me and saw how patient I am with him you’d be so proud.

To Dawn’s point – he definitely just doesn’t want to go to class. Some days he does, some he doesn’t and as a mother that’s a very frightening thought.

Thanks to everyone for your well wishes.

He’s a no show this week by the way – because he’s buying a new car. So, for now – it looks like he’s staying. Another update to come soon I’m sure.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:51:04 +0000

For both men and women, parenting is in our nature. Or it’s not.

I think we all agree on this point. Maybe more.

A motivation and a willingness are a necessary component of becoming a student of any class.

The teachers that provide an education for our children are seldom in charge of driving the school bus, nor do they hold a key to their students homes to remind them to get to class. Imagine if the student just layed there in bed, wouldn’t budge. Holding up a classroom of students you have to teach everyday for the rest of your life. But the student won’t budge. Dead weight … theirs a bus load of children to get back too.

This student illustrates negative qualities. Right? Not bad, he was born into this world just as innocent as the rest of us. We’re just looking at things for what they are. Beyond the concept of good and bad. All of us attending the class, know that it’s true: Before babies learn how to speak they read our actions.Children are born fine tuned. They know us as parents this way. .

So this student doesn’t want to go to class. Which may not be a bad thing. It’s clear that he’s not going to be riding in the bus today. Perhaps this class is too exacting on this student. Actions show all clues. I hope he wakes up on time. Before the bus leaves.

We’re all students of this same thing. That’s what we have in common.

By: Adam D

Adam D — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:00:59 +0000

I know that your intentions are to protect your son,but instead of focusing on all the negetive qualities of your ex,why not try to educate him on how to love your son.He seems to have his life all screwed up,ie..half ass job,stripper girlfriend,unreliable car,an ex wife who is shining and doing all the right things.Seems to me that no matter what he does or doesn’t do,he feels like he isn’t good enough to be a dad.Instead of paying for his departure I would see if there was anything that I could do to help him become a better father.He is lost and doesn’t know what to do,hence running back to mommy.How was his life growing up?You can protect Benjamin for the rest of his life by trying to understand his father and work with him to help improve his relationship with B.Let Benjamin decide when he is older if he doesn’t want his dad around.Love is a choice and sometimes people don’t know how to love.
I am a single father and I love my kids dearly,yet sometimes I don’t know how to communicate that to them.We all have different love languages,we just need to figure out what that language is and communicate it.Thanks for listening. Adam in Washington