All women have lists. It's part of fantasizing. As I pointed out in a reply to someone's comment on another thread, one of MSM's lists effectively translate into wanting a domestic robot LoL!. But that's ok. The reality is that ability with domestic chores, flannelet shirts and even getting on great with their kid is not going to attract them to you in the first place. By itself, these are all secondary things that get evaluated during the next steps.

What comes first is your symmetry, the size of your jawbone (indicates large testosterone surge during puberty – I'm not making this up), whether your facial geometry conforms to universal rules of handsomeness, your eyes, your odor (this is unconscious but clearly proven), your demeanor and body language, the chemical makeup of your saliva (this is why humans and apes kiss – unconscious but also clearly proven to be a very strong factor), your verbal skills (though you don't need these if you're James Dean), your relationships in the world (status among men – alpha males gets the girls), your health, your independence. These are all signs of a good potential mate, father, caregiver, protector. It was so when we evolved on the plains in Africa and it is so now.

Men have lists, too. Ours focus is on her potential as a child bearer whether we realize this or not. Bright eyes, hair and clear skin all signify good health. Symmetry signals both good genetics and environmental influences that are relatively free from damage (such as scarring) – same for men. Ditto kissing. Good round hips are about carrying children – cultural fetishes for rexy models contradicts this of course, they are actually likely to have problems during childbirth (pelvis aperture too small). The facial geometry of beauty has some basic proportions that are hardwired and universal across all cultures. Curves result from the hormone surge at puberty. Nice breasts do not necessarily mean more milk production but they suggest this psychologically; they also make nice targets for newborn babies and men to grab onto – I still like grabbing onto them :=), but it's critical for newborns – this one is my theory, I've never seen it written up before. In fact some scientists have said good size breasts only exist to excite men and there is no benefit to size (I disagree). A very flat stomach indicates not pregnant and therefore availability to be impregnated. An absence of excess body hair suggests there is no hormonal disease.

There are probably a million biological signals that we don't know anything about yet. And then there are the individual turn ons, the quirks that we imprinted off our parents and television etc. Recently it was statistically proven we are more likely to select a mate who looks somewhat like our opposite sex parent. Freud would have predicted this of course, but now we really do know that her heart really does belong to Daddy, even if subconsciously.

There are indefinable aspects to romance if course. The shear complexity of the above, the je ne sais pas, would be hard to integrate and rationalize by itself. It's not that I think the poets and mystics are entirely wrong. It's just that there are rational things going on behind many of our seemingly irrational feelings. What throws the final "hotty or notty" switch? Who knows.

But I would never be with a woman like you who has a list like that, even if it pleases her.

I’m with a single mother. She loves me for who I am, I love her for who she is. We’re soulmate. She happens to have a child, we make it work. We make it work cuz we love each other so hard.

I wasn’t actively looking for a single mother and she wasn’t looking for a male nanny like you seem to. Eeew, really.

You either love someone, or you don’t. The rest will come, children or not. You don’t have to have a huge grocery list about your ideal partner.

You fall in love with a person, not an image of what you want.

I always compare guys to my father because he is the sweetest man alive. He loves my mom and is so good to her, and us (us being his four daughters) i’m not joking i’m the youngest of 4 girls and we all went through our bad boy phase, but now we are older we are all looking for my dad out there!! haha

To add to the list………

someone who genuinly cares…about my day, my kids day etc.

someone i can cry to, bitch to, and laugh with.

The most important thing to me is comfort and security. I want to know by looking at that person in the eyes that they love me and always will.

oh yeah last but certainly not least, drum roll please……..PASSION! when he kisses me my knees wobble, if i do not have that i am happy being alone. Gotta have the wobbly knees : )

“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.”

The rest, quite long but well worth the read … it’s as close to a description of what matter’s most to me.

Savored Life: The musician thing gets me everytime, but it scares me a bit now, since my ex was a musician. Still a weakness of mine though.