I just have a couple of things that have worked for Ella and I. (My Mom has been a preschool teacher for over 20 years so most of it came from her )

The most important thing I’ve heard (and practice) is NOT switching back and forth between diapers and undies. (I’m not sure if your little dude is already in undies?) Ella wears a “sleeping diaper” at bedtime but that’s it. I always make a big deal about her choosing the panties and the character or flower or whatever is on there telling her “Don’t pee/poop on me!” and if she has an accident we talk about how it made her panties sad. It sounds crazy, but it really does work! She has been accident free this whole past week. (We started over Thanksgiving weekend).

I have heard that it can take up to 3 months from the point of no diapers for them to actually go weeks without accidents, but even then they can still have them.

I am such a perfectionist, so accidents would totally bum me out, but I’ve learned that it’s so important to not make it a fight between you. It can’t turn into a behavioral issue. If she has an accident, I say “I understand accidents happen, but you need to try really hard to tell me when you need to go”. She’s a really communicative child and she always wants to talk things through so this works well with her.

Also, even though we’ve been going at it for awhile, I (and my brother who watches her since I work full time) still ask her every 30 minutes if she needs to go.

And I’m sure you’ve heard this, but I (and whoever happens to be there) make a HUGE deal everytime she pees/poops. I’m talking clapping and jumping and cheering…everything short of throwing a party. I don’t do the M&Ms/stickers thing, but this seems to be incentive enough for her.

Anyway-I know that is a mouthful, but I hope it helps!

That’s awesome advice about potty training. Chill is best. For sure.

The thing Mr. Man did had, in no way, a negative affect on Benjamin or I but on himself and his future… I just want everyone to know it’s not anything that could hurt Benjamin physically.

But I do believe that letting him know Mr. Man didn’t completely abandon him is okay. He won’t be seeing him for a long, long time so just letting him know he cares about him – I believe – is okay. I don’t want him to ever feel abandoned my anyone.

Thanks so much for your comment! Very insightful and you bring up a really, really good point.

and if I were you and you are done with Mr. Man I would stop reading his letters to your son but that is just me. if your son isn’t asking why keep introducing him back in? its the child welfare attorney in me, I never let parents bring the flavor of the month to visits and I don’t let them talk about them and caution them to not have them around when they are getting their kids back, its all about your relationship with your son. part of it is, you say the guy did something you can’t forgive, why show/tell your son its ok? if it not, its not and move on. you are showing your son how to treat women when he grows up…so he loved your son and that is attractive to you because his father doesn’t seem to show as much interest as you would like…that does not make the unforgiveable forgiveable…and its not fair to your son, but that’s just my opinion cause i’m not in the emotion of it all…and my son looks almost exactly like his father and has his exact body…even in utero with ultra sounds I could see his back and it was his father’s in miniature…very cute to me….

Not quite sure which to use first. I love the M&M idea. And the potty chart and especially the bribing of the day care ladies.

You guys are brilliant. Seriously.

So… we just had our first huge potty training accident. He shat in his pants and it was NOT fun. NOT fun at all. We also had to go “pee pee” in a public restorm – also completely horrible.

Thanks so much for your moral support. I know I am venturing where many a brave single mother has ventured before and that helps tremendously.

I have a little guy who’ll be 4 in March. I told his daycare teacher that if he was potty-trained by a certain date, (it was 10 days away and I was going on an airplane trip with him) then I would give her a $100 gift card to 7-11, a local gas station. Since he’s in daycare during the work week it was hard to have passionate consistency he had at home. The teacher looked at me like I was offering her a brand new car or something. It worked! She took him to the potty every 30 minutes for the next week and a 1/2. (And she got the gift card! Win/Win for everyone.)

Another idea: get him underware with his favorite super-hero or cartoon character printed on them. Make it a big deal when he picks them out. Then let him know that, “Spiderman (insert character name here) does not like to be tinkled on.” lol

The combination of these two ideas, plus M&M’s for going in the potty, worked like a charm!