Comments on: Eyelashes http://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/ Single Mom Dating? Real advice from a real single mom. Thu, 24 May 2012 06:45:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Evasion?http://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-14533 Evasion? Wed, 25 Nov 2009 13:24:31 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-14533 [...] at least on the onset but will I survive another one without even more gray hairs? What about the ex-factor and sharing over the holidays? What about the budget? But what about all of the good stuff – like holiday parties? [...] [...] at least on the onset but will I survive another one without even more gray hairs? What about the ex-factor and sharing over the holidays? What about the budget? But what about all of the good stuff – like holiday parties? [...]

]]> By: Serenadragonhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5849 Serenadragon Sat, 17 Jan 2009 16:26:23 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5849 I'm with pixiemama on this one - it's been 11months since i split from the ex, we've been divorced 4months. I do remember how it felt to love him, but it's almost like it happened in another life, or that those emotions belonged to another person. It surprises me how quickly that love died, when we had been together for almost 18 years. My children are older than a lot of the children of regular commenters here - 10 & 15, and i find it difficult that my teen is seeing so clearly when his father prioritises the single man lifestyle over his children. He keeps reminding me that when he turns 16 he will be the one arranging contact with his dad -( I anticipate from his comments that it will be less and only on his terms, this is kinda sad) I’m with pixiemama on this one – it’s been 11months since i split from the ex, we’ve been divorced 4months. I do remember how it felt to love him, but it’s almost like it happened in another life, or that those emotions belonged to another person. It surprises me how quickly that love died, when we had been together for almost 18 years. My children are older than a lot of the children of regular commenters here – 10 & 15, and i find it difficult that my teen is seeing so clearly when his father prioritises the single man lifestyle over his children. He keeps reminding me that when he turns 16 he will be the one arranging contact with his dad -( I anticipate from his comments that it will be less and only on his terms, this is kinda sad)

]]> By: xDrGirlFriendxhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5641 xDrGirlFriendx Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:54:51 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5641 My son has eyelashes to die for as well. All of the guys in my family do. Me? I need 10 coats of mascara to even compete! Ben is a beauty for sure! My son has eyelashes to die for as well. All of the guys in my family do. Me? I need 10 coats of mascara to even compete!

Ben is a beauty for sure!

]]> By: pixiemamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5374 pixiemama Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:49:48 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5374 I reread my comments and realized how bitter I sounded... So tomorrow I may be optimistic :) I reread my comments and realized how bitter I sounded…

So tomorrow I may be optimistic :)

]]> By: pixiemamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5372 pixiemama Fri, 02 Jan 2009 06:47:18 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5372 Both of my children have these eyelashes. So I know what you mean with butterflies batting their wings. But they always manage to stop me in my tracks when I see them in their sleep. Their closed eyes seem to just be hidden behind these graceful dark resting lashes... I can only wonder what dreams lay behind. I also know what you mean when you say that you barely know that mysterious man that shows up once a week. It has only been 9 months since we separated but it seemed as if an overnight change happened.... but I am not going to get into that. I just hope and hope that my son turns out to be a man capable of a deep, honest and loving relationship when he grows up even though I doubt men are capable. As far as your comments about your naivety and your dreams of prince charming; Well I have made it my mission to shield my daughter from the culture that portraits men as the rescuers. There will be no Cinderellas in this house. Thank you for your blog. ...it was much needed today PXM Both of my children have these eyelashes. So I know what you mean with butterflies batting their wings. But they always manage to stop me in my tracks when I see them in their sleep. Their closed eyes seem to just be hidden behind these graceful dark resting lashes… I can only wonder what dreams lay behind.

I also know what you mean when you say that you barely know that mysterious man that shows up once a week. It has only been 9 months since we separated but it seemed as if an overnight change happened…. but I am not going to get into that. I just hope and hope that my son turns out to be a man capable of a deep, honest and loving relationship when he grows up even though I doubt men are capable.
As far as your comments about your naivety and your dreams of prince charming; Well I have made it my mission to shield my daughter from the culture that portraits men as the rescuers. There will be no Cinderellas in this house.

Thank you for your blog. …it was much needed today

PXM

]]> By: Tinahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5305 Tina Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:09:38 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5305 I hope you are feeling better, both of you. Beautiful and haunting post. I hope you are feeling better, both of you.
Beautiful and haunting post.

]]> By: Ninahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5292 Nina Tue, 30 Dec 2008 05:05:50 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5292 I don't know if I expressed that well or if this will but i'll try and then shut up cause your probably sick of me. a few months ago I was crying to my sister because my father had forgotten my son's first birthday (and mine but I'm used to that) and it hurt me for my son. and she said I'm really sorry you're sad but its not different than the same thing you've been sad about your whole life. and while honesty is not much appreciated (at least by me) when you're hurting later you can step back and say yeah, that's true. so what is going to change? is my father at 70 yrs old suddenly going to show me he cares? is he suddenly going to follow through and be reliable and make me a priority in his life? um NO. so I can continue to waste the energy on something that will.not.change or I can spend it on stuff that matters - making a beautiful life for me and my son even if that means without grandparents or his father. I have NO expectation of any involvement from his father and its the most relieving thing ever. we recently started talking again for some health info and still I have no expectation...but I don't want to have negative feelings towards him because I don't want my son to feel less than due to biology. so it helps to interact civily, for me. but I also have to steel myself to not be hurt at what I see as rejection of my son but his father said to me its not, it is a failing on my part and has nothing to do with A. you have a beautiful son. he has a beautiful mother. you have a beautiful life together with a little blip of his father. it is what it is. its hard not to hurt for your son but I guess I'm saying don't let that anger and hurt, hurt your son. it won't change his father no matter how right you are and how wrong he is...ok slinking away now to be silent, promise! :) I don’t know if I expressed that well or if this will but i’ll try and then shut up cause your probably sick of me. a few months ago I was crying to my sister because my father had forgotten my son’s first birthday (and mine but I’m used to that) and it hurt me for my son. and she said I’m really sorry you’re sad but its not different than the same thing you’ve been sad about your whole life. and while honesty is not much appreciated (at least by me) when you’re hurting later you can step back and say yeah, that’s true. so what is going to change? is my father at 70 yrs old suddenly going to show me he cares? is he suddenly going to follow through and be reliable and make me a priority in his life? um NO. so I can continue to waste the energy on something that will.not.change or I can spend it on stuff that matters – making a beautiful life for me and my son even if that means without grandparents or his father. I have NO expectation of any involvement from his father and its the most relieving thing ever. we recently started talking again for some health info and still I have no expectation…but I don’t want to have negative feelings towards him because I don’t want my son to feel less than due to biology. so it helps to interact civily, for me. but I also have to steel myself to not be hurt at what I see as rejection of my son but his father said to me its not, it is a failing on my part and has nothing to do with A.

you have a beautiful son. he has a beautiful mother. you have a beautiful life together with a little blip of his father. it is what it is. its hard not to hurt for your son but I guess I’m saying don’t let that anger and hurt, hurt your son. it won’t change his father no matter how right you are and how wrong he is…ok slinking away now to be silent, promise! :)

]]> By: Ninahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5291 Nina Tue, 30 Dec 2008 04:46:18 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5291 here's what I was trying to say above (now on treo). my son looks exactly like his father. I'm ok with that. I think he's an attractive guy and my son is stinkin' cute - ask anyone! :) I grew up with a half-brother who looks/talks/walks/eats exactly like his (my) father. the parents by mutual agreement had decided to care for the kids with the mothers (4 parents, switched spouses) so he was w his mother who was vitrolic in her hatred of my father, who didn't return to her despite her having a boy for him, and her anger at how much her son acted like him even thoug they rarely saw each other...that boy is now an angry, bitter, drug addict who hates himself and really how could he not growing up being told he was the spitting image of someone his mother hated? I loved the potential of my son's father- the reality not so much - but I've been lucky enough to have a perfect child who makes my soul happy. I want him to know and grow into his potential of goodness. and I'm responsible for picking his father so...we all make bad choices...but sometimes good comes of them. I guess I'm lucky that I've always said to myself I would only marry the man I want my son to grow to be and my daughters to marry and my sons father isn't that so I said no to his multiple proposals. maybe its easier to not be as upset since there wasn't an expectation created by marriage. or its just I never expected to have a child and just am in aweand rejoice daily that I do. and it could be I've experienced so much anger and hatred growing up that I never want my son to...im sure you're just venting here but I just worry for kids who feel the hurt, hatred, anger and take it on themselves when they shouldnt, ya know? anyway I hope you feel better soon :) here’s what I was trying to say above (now on treo). my son looks exactly like his father. I’m ok with that. I think he’s an attractive guy and my son is stinkin’ cute – ask anyone! :) I grew up with a half-brother who looks/talks/walks/eats exactly like his (my) father. the parents by mutual agreement had decided to care for the kids with the mothers (4 parents, switched spouses) so he was w his mother who was vitrolic in her hatred of my father, who didn’t return to her despite her having a boy for him, and her anger at how much her son acted like him even thoug they rarely saw each other…that boy is now an angry, bitter, drug addict who hates himself and really how could he not growing up being told he was the spitting image of someone his mother hated? I loved the potential of my son’s father- the reality not so much – but I’ve been lucky enough to have a perfect child who makes my soul happy. I want him to know and grow into his potential of goodness. and I’m responsible for picking his father so…we all make bad choices…but sometimes good comes of them. I guess I’m lucky that I’ve always said to myself I would only marry the man I want my son to grow to be and my daughters to marry and my sons father isn’t that so I said no to his multiple proposals. maybe its easier to not be as upset since there wasn’t an expectation created by marriage. or its just I never expected to have a child and just am in aweand rejoice daily that I do. and it could be I’ve experienced so much anger and hatred growing up that I never want my son to…im sure you’re just venting here but I just worry for kids who feel the hurt, hatred, anger and take it on themselves when they shouldnt, ya know? anyway I hope you feel better soon :)

]]> By: Kellyhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5279 Kelly Mon, 29 Dec 2008 21:14:19 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5279 It must be really hard to part with your child on a holiday. I enjoy the ocassional night to myself, but not on Christmas! Our situation is different... my 12 yo daughter's dad didn't want anything to do with her until a couple of years ago. Now that he's come back around, the situation is really awkward for her so she refuses to be around him without me. So there is no dad picking her up and taking her off for a day or two. There's all of us - me, my daughter, him and his wife spending time together, and me thinking "really? I loved this guy once?" So I'm not sure what I'd prefer.... being forced to hang out with the ex and be cordial, or having my daughter taken from me every other weekend and on holidays. It must be really hard to part with your child on a holiday. I enjoy the ocassional night to myself, but not on Christmas! Our situation is different… my 12 yo daughter’s dad didn’t want anything to do with her until a couple of years ago. Now that he’s come back around, the situation is really awkward for her so she refuses to be around him without me. So there is no dad picking her up and taking her off for a day or two. There’s all of us – me, my daughter, him and his wife spending time together, and me thinking “really? I loved this guy once?” So I’m not sure what I’d prefer…. being forced to hang out with the ex and be cordial, or having my daughter taken from me every other weekend and on holidays.

]]> By: mssinglemamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/27/eye-lashes/#comment-5268 mssinglemama Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:58:31 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=2004#comment-5268 You are all so amazing... thanks for the tips and fantastic advice. It is true - the kids know what's up. You are all so amazing… thanks for the tips and fantastic advice.

It is true – the kids know what’s up.

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