Comments on: The End. http://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/ Single Mom Dating? Real advice from a real single mom. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 07:59:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Would you date yourself? | Ms. Single Mamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-19448 Would you date yourself? | Ms. Single Mama Mon, 30 Aug 2010 22:22:58 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-19448 [...] night I met Mr. Man my mother and I were polishing our faces and choosing outfits in her room – just a few feet [...] [...] night I met Mr. Man my mother and I were polishing our faces and choosing outfits in her room – just a few feet [...]

]]> By: Flyinghttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-14153 Flying Fri, 06 Nov 2009 11:28:29 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-14153 [...] of  baggage. Mr. Man texted me during my rushed business trip to Boulder, Colorado asking about this recipe. I’m [...] [...] of  baggage. Mr. Man texted me during my rushed business trip to Boulder, Colorado asking about this recipe. I’m [...]

]]> By: Secrets, Secretshttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-11080 Secrets, Secrets Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:10:06 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-11080 [...] the stories on my blog. And believe me, I’ve left a lot out. Like what really happened with Mr. Man, the reason my fling with Cabin Man ended so abruptly, much more about John Bear and an entirely [...] [...] the stories on my blog. And believe me, I’ve left a lot out. Like what really happened with Mr. Man, the reason my fling with Cabin Man ended so abruptly, much more about John Bear and an entirely [...]

]]> By: Clearing the Mr. Man Air & Morgan Silerhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-8777 Clearing the Mr. Man Air & Morgan Siler Sun, 19 Apr 2009 22:01:56 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-8777 [...] of you left a comment on my Mr. Man break up post last week that asks if I was running away from something or looking for an [...] [...] of you left a comment on my Mr. Man break up post last week that asks if I was running away from something or looking for an [...]

]]> By: mssinglemamahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-8708 mssinglemama Thu, 16 Apr 2009 21:57:07 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-8708 It could be forgiven but not by me. Had to do with legal issues... Had nothing at all to do with Benjamin directly.<br /><br /><br />And , yes I am a writer.<br /><br /><br />Tks for the compliment!<br /><br />Sent from my iPhone It could be forgiven but not by me. Had to do with legal issues… Had nothing at all to do with Benjamin directly.

And , yes I am a writer.

Tks for the compliment!

Sent from my iPhone

]]> By: NotADadhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-8706 NotADad Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:47:10 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-8706 MMmm. Looking further around I see others appeared to have perhaps already posed these questions (about MrMan) in slightly different form. So maybe my post was redundant and ill-advised. MMmm. Looking further around I see others appeared to have perhaps already posed these questions (about MrMan) in slightly different form. So maybe my post was redundant and ill-advised.

]]> By: NotADadhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-8704 NotADad Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:37:35 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-8704 PS: I've been meaning to say - MsSingleMamma (if you read this), you write extremely well, and I'm not easily impressed in that area. If you don't already write for a living (I have a feeling you might be a journalist) you really should consider tackling a writing project (other than this blog, or perhaps arising out of this blog). PS: I've been meaning to say – MsSingleMamma (if you read this), you write extremely well, and I'm not easily impressed in that area. If you don't already write for a living (I have a feeling you might be a journalist) you really should consider tackling a writing project (other than this blog, or perhaps arising out of this blog).

]]> By: NotADadhttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-8703 NotADad Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:26:30 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-8703 It's supposed to be bad netiquette to revive old threads without a very good reason - but I hope it will be ok here. I do agree somewhat with the person who posted that, by not at least categorizing what great transgression MrMan committed, it's kind of easy to leap to the (quite likely erroneous) conclusion that he did something bad to your kid. Though presumably nothing too bad happened since you'd probably write something (at least obliquely) about that. My guess is you made him promise to not do something that might emotionally compromise your son (like make promises and break them) or maybe to not do anything that might jeopardize his safety, like not leave him unattended or something? Wild guesses. Guessing what women are thinking is a skill we men try to practice but often get wrong. In fact it often seems like we're expected to read your minds anyway, but that's another story. One observation as a man who a few times has f*cked up and been flatly refused a second chance by prospective females: heavily making a prospective partner/lover promise that they'll never-ever-ever-do-such-and-such, early in a relationship, is a sure fire guarantee that they will do it, at least in my experience. "If you ever sleep with someone else I'll [insert ultimatum here]" - and what happens? - they go and screw your best friend or some old flame, it might mean nothing but it puts you in the position of having to honor your ultimatum. Honoring ultimatums made out of fear/insecurity/desire to control can be a very bad idea, almost as bad as having made the ultimatum in the first place. The ultimatum places the apparatus in place to eventually sabotage the relationship, and on one level it's inviting someone to go and buck your control. I'm not saying all this is conscious. Forgiveness and second chances might leave you a lot less lonely. Was what he did it really so terrible that Mr Man could never be forgiven, or deep down underneath were you looking for a reason to push him away? Did he just drink too much and screw up? I know I have. Who hasn't? It's supposed to be bad netiquette to revive old threads without a very good reason – but I hope it will be ok here. I do agree somewhat with the person who posted that, by not at least categorizing what great transgression MrMan committed, it's kind of easy to leap to the (quite likely erroneous) conclusion that he did something bad to your kid. Though presumably nothing too bad happened since you'd probably write something (at least obliquely) about that. My guess is you made him promise to not do something that might emotionally compromise your son (like make promises and break them) or maybe to not do anything that might jeopardize his safety, like not leave him unattended or something? Wild guesses. Guessing what women are thinking is a skill we men try to practice but often get wrong. In fact it often seems like we're expected to read your minds anyway, but that's another story.

One observation as a man who a few times has f*cked up and been flatly refused a second chance by prospective females: heavily making a prospective partner/lover promise that they'll never-ever-ever-do-such-and-such, early in a relationship, is a sure fire guarantee that they will do it, at least in my experience. "If you ever sleep with someone else I'll [insert ultimatum here]" – and what happens? – they go and screw your best friend or some old flame, it might mean nothing but it puts you in the position of having to honor your ultimatum.

Honoring ultimatums made out of fear/insecurity/desire to control can be a very bad idea, almost as bad as having made the ultimatum in the first place. The ultimatum places the apparatus in place to eventually sabotage the relationship, and on one level it's inviting someone to go and buck your control. I'm not saying all this is conscious.

Forgiveness and second chances might leave you a lot less lonely. Was what he did it really so terrible that Mr Man could never be forgiven, or deep down underneath were you looking for a reason to push him away? Did he just drink too much and screw up? I know I have. Who hasn't?

]]> By: Shielahttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-7328 Shiela Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:47:33 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-7328 I am sorry to hear of the choice he made and happen to know Mr. Man personally and am aware of the history there. The bad boys are so great when they are good, but damn when they are bad it screws everything up. They just don't know how to keep on track for long periods of time. I haven't talked to either of you for awhile and was wondering how you were doing. Needless to say I am glad you held to your word and as a single mom we know you made the right and only choice. Take CAre I am sorry to hear of the choice he made and happen to know Mr. Man personally and am aware of the history there. The bad boys are so great when they are good, but damn when they are bad it screws everything up. They just don't know how to keep on track for long periods of time. I haven't talked to either of you for awhile and was wondering how you were doing. Needless to say I am glad you held to your word and as a single mom we know you made the right and only choice. Take CAre

]]> By: Shadows & Lighthttp://mssinglemama.com/2008/12/11/the-end/#comment-6154 Shadows & Light Mon, 02 Feb 2009 04:48:50 +0000 http://mssinglemama.com/?p=1887#comment-6154 [...] But it’s easier said than done. How do you realign that compass? My solution as of late - ever since Mr. Man - has been to not date at all. And it’s been nice. Safe. Kind of boring. But [...] [...] But it’s easier said than done. How do you realign that compass? My solution as of late – ever since Mr. Man – has been to not date at all. And it’s been nice. Safe. Kind of boring. But [...]

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