Thank you for saying what I needed to hear.

Shelley

Love and light,

Laura

Yes, I’m still here! =) I can completely relate to your words. I love that you are seeing the light and I’m with you. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me– YET! I can feel it in every fiber in me. My life and the very core of my being is being transformed. I can say that the 11 years I’ve spent with my husband hasn’t been all bad, or even *that* bad. We built a great life together and have come so far from our humble beginnings as children of working class parents. I know that even better is in store for me and my children– and you know what else? Better is in store for him, too! We’re not the only ones learning all of these tough life lessons that will make us stronger, better, happier people. And, all I’ve ever wanted was the very best for him, too. I’m going to continue to pray for his genuine happiness. I have found that when I’ve been able to get through the layers of disappointment and resentment to that buried layer of love, it makes ME feel better. There is love there. I can admit that now without thinking I’m crazy or must desire, somewhere deep within me to get back together. lol

(I don’t know how I ended up on that tangent. ::shrug::)

Thanks for asking about my blog. I do have one and guess what? I haven’t told a single soul about it. It’s been my personal space to reflect and sort of counsel myself. But, I think I’m ready to share now. =) Check out my rants and musings at http://divorcedbydestiny.wordpress.com/

xoxo

I have been separated from my husband for 14 months now, my children are 8, 5 and 2 (very close ages to yours). If you have a blog I’d love to read it too. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of a new addiction for me (blog reading)

It has been a very rough year, and many times I was feeling EXACTLY like Katherine and now I still have those feelings sometimes but they are less often. I’m ready to move forward now and I’m preparing and educating myself on divorce. I’m ready to close this chapter of waiting to see if he will make the changes to prove me and the children are his top priority instead of himself. He is not going to. I could rehash everything he’s done to me over the last 10 years of marriage (14 together) but I’m finally in a place of peace and can let all of that go I can forgive him for those things and I have learned that forgiveness doesn’t mean reconcilliation (getting back together)

I have come SOOOO Far in the past year! I am seeing the possibilities that lie ahead. Not many people get a SECOND CHANCE to make their life WHATEVER they want it to be!!! I DO!!! I am so lucky and blessed to be in this situation (sounds wierd huh?!) Even on food support from the county, barely able to pay my bills, no TV service or trash service and bouts of sadness from time to time, I KNOW that it wont be this way forever and every single day is a chance to move forward and make things better for my kids and I!

Single mamas…pat yourself on the back!! NO one knows unless they’ve been through it!! My favorite outfit always includes my big girl pants

Hugs and Prayers to all!!

We can do this. There’s an amazing life in store for us as long as that’s the path we choose to take. I’m right there with you, sister. We’re going to be so much better for this!! =)

Reading your words actually physically made me cry…right here sitting at my desk in the middle of a busy office..here I am crying. I am crying because you’re right. I’m so emotional because everyone was right. I’m still sad over the lost dreams. First I look at my beautiful son and I think to myself (well actually cry to myself) how can someone look at my son and say to me I don’t ever want to see you guys again. Take full stock of everything I and my son are and say..these past 4 years meant nothing and you guys meant nothing to me. I supported this person for years..and now I have nothing to show for it. I’m alone. I have my son, but I’m alone. I know I have to be strong for Jayden because he deserves more. He deserves me at my best. I know that this was meant to be. And I realize that there is a different plan for me. Bless you for being a single mother now to 3 children. I pray with you. Your reply to my comment really saved me..thank you…thank you for caring..thank you for taking the time. Your children are very lucky to have you.

Honey your life is not over. Yes, you’re hurt, confused, frustrated, and fearful. But that will not always be the case. I want you to accept that the past could not have been any different than how it was. You were meant to meet, to have your son, and for things to end just the way they have. You are growing in a way you have yet to understand.

If you, like me and everyone else, choose to spend your days and nights thinking about all of the hopes and dreams that you once had and how they will not come to fruition now you will miss out on the opportunity to create new hopes and dreams, ones that are much bigger and brighter than those you’ve already thought up.

You can choose to make each day a gift or a curse. You can choose to make each day a fresh beginning or a painful ending.

I am one month into the separation of my 11 year marriage. I am 29 years old, with three children ages 8, 4, and 2. I know that being happy is a challenge, to say the least, right now. So what I have done is thought up things that would make me feel happy. I create a plan of action for every day, the night before. And, I force myself to stick to my plan. I know that I can not rely on my mind or emotions right now.

My action plan for tomorrow:

- Wake up and make a great breakfast for me and my children. Play feel good music and let the aroma of bacon fill up every room and wake everyone up.

- Pray and eat together.

- Break out into a “spontaneous” dance routine and find joy in how silly the kids think their mommy is.

- Take a shower. Spend some extra time making my hair look nice.

- Go to church.

- Convince my dad to start up the grill and bbq some chicken. (This isn’t a very hard thing to do considering any and every time–including during blizzards– is perfect for grilling to my dad. lol) Have Sunday dinner with parents.

- Come home. Get kids ready for Monday. Bedtime for kiddies.

- Get caught up on work; prepare for Monday meeting with glass of moscato and one of pandora’s R&B stations.

- Blog & write out Monday’s action plan.

- Pray. Lights out for Mommy.

By creating my action plan, I’m pre-wiring myself for happiness and I’m making a commitment to myself to get up and out, and to live life as God intended for me. I admit when I first began doing this, I spent lots of time just faking through my plan. But you know what they say, right? Fake it to you make it. And, I’m almost there. It has helped me remind myself that there are many things I still find joy in, without my husband. It’s affirmed for me that life is going to continue to happen whether I choose to shut down or choose to live.

Choose to live. Your son deserves a mom who chooses life, who has hope, and who believes with everything in her that he is going to have a great life. And, while you deserve to live a great life full of optimism, joy, and abundance– I completely understand that for now, and perhaps some time, your strength will come from your dedication as a mom. That’s okay– that is why children are God’s greatest gift. They have the ability to push us to live our best lives, without pushing us at all.

Create a road map for happiness, one day at a time– and soon you’ll know your way there without it.

I speak life, light, healing, and happiness into your life.