Where Can I Meet Quality Men?

by mssinglemama on November 28, 2008

Question #2 from my readers and my video response.

(I’m all sick but managed to get through without passing out or coughing). Enjoy.

For Question # 1: How do I get over my ex? Click here.

And here are some follow up posts on the very hot topic of finding men to date (not like you need them, but since you want them):

{ 2 trackbacks }

What makes him so irresistible ?
December 29, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Keep Up With Me » Where Do You Meet Men Offline?
January 19, 2009 at 7:03 am

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

March Liz November 28, 2008 at 8:46 am

Thanks Alaina! I really appreciate it!! The video is great, couldn’t even tell you had a cold. Those are all such good ideas. I am going to check out meetup.com in my area right away. Maybe they even have a single parents group, who knows.
You know, it is so true and funny that as a mother I don’t even notice guys looking at me. I think I have become so used to people looking at me to see the baby (yeah she is really cute, what can I say LOL) that I just automatically think guys are doing the same thing even when I don’t have her. It is wierd how the brain works!
Thank you so much for taking the time to do the video, that is awesome! If you have any more tips let me know…I will keep you posted!


O Solo Mama November 28, 2008 at 7:10 pm

Excellent video, Alaina! Your advice was spot-on.

Have one additional suggestion for meeting someone: the museum. I know it sounds nerdy, but where else do people just stand there for so long. . .plus there’s the perfect opportunity for conversation. “Isn’t that dino big?” You know.

Also. . .people who are 40+ may possibly have more luck with the dating online services. I think I’ve heard that lots of guys 50+ patronize e-harmony, for example.

Really enjoyed your presentation. . .could NOT tell you were sick.


Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) November 29, 2008 at 12:43 pm

Great advice… very well done!


April December 1, 2008 at 3:25 pm

Great suggestions…and I love the idea of using video to answer those questions!


Maheen February 3, 2015 at 1:08 am

great advice but vague to me.1. what is my check list? I don’t know.married for 23 years many tngihs have changed me since then I don’t know what I want/need.I seem to be stuck in a rut.2. screen quickly- I am very honest and trusting this makes screening difficultfor me.3. don’t settle- I realize no one is perfect and many people hide their faults how to get to them quickly..then not to feel guilty if it doesn’t work out when you find out those faults are ones I cannot tolerate; drinking in excess, seditary life style?? how to let go after learning these tngihs; feeling obligated to another?


Kat January 31, 2009 at 2:21 pm

I have had luck with online dating… but it has taken tears of trial and error. I think I have finally gotten good at uncovering the good-guys. I also think there are good-guys that sometimes seem like creeps because they are afraid and unsure of what to do online. Many are divorced, don’t want to be single, and haven’t a clue what they are looking for.
Anyway, as I said, I can usually find good ones who have the basics – the absolute requirements I won’t compromise on: intelligence, sense of humor, kindness and a face & physique that aren’t off-putting to me :–)
My problem now… I can’t get a second date with these guys. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. Maybe I talk too much, or I’m too confident. My sister said she thinks I am not needy enough – that a man has to feel like a woman would find some value in being with him.
I always swore I wouldn’t “play games,” but pretending to need a man seems a bit like game-playing. Besides, I’m not sure exactly how to BE needy. Maybe some man could explain this to me.


Lisa Copeland, Dating Coach for Women over 50 May 6, 2012 at 12:37 am

Hi Kat
I did a survey with men for my clients hoping to get answers to exactly what you are asking-how you can get a second date? I want you to know not one man wanted a needy woman. In fact, men love confident women.

The issue I’ve found is men have a certain picture in their head of what the woman he wants in his life is like. They mentally carry this with them as they hunt for her. First in an email then on the phone they will make a decision as to whether she might be that woman.

When you meet, even if you are having a great time, if you don’t match his picture, you won’t get a second date. As you are together, he has a mental checklist going off in his head just as we do and when a woman doesn’t have what’s on that list, no second date.

The other problem is, there are always more fish in the sea so men think, ok she doesn’t have what’s on my list, back out I go-there is someone else. Which is really ok cause you want a man who wants you and who you want to be with.

Biggest suggestion-date a lot of men and try not to have any expectations of a date other then FUN and meeting someone new and interesting. Hope this helps.

You can find out where quality men are hiding in this free report at http://www.findaqualityman.com

Good Luck!
Lisa Copeland
#1 Dating Coach for Women over 50″


Maakhan February 3, 2015 at 3:44 am

Hi Catherine,I understand you frtitrauson. it’s something I hear from women all the time. In reading your response it seems to me that your emotions are starting to takeover. I can relate (I did it for years) but anytime you are being run by your emotions you make it much more difficult to create the result you desire. Finding and attracting a good quality guy is simply a result and once you possess the knowledge, skills and tools on how to create a result it’s simply a matter of taking the right actions to make it happen.I can so relate to how your feeling. In fact it’s one of the reasons I created Smarter Dating and named it such. The ONLY reason dating and relationships are so difficult for many is because we were never taught the knowledge, skills and tools on how to succeed at em. Compound that with the fact that most of our actions are driven by the emotional part of our brains and it is easy to see that most people put themselves in position to fail form the very beginning.If you would really like to learn how to date smarter and make this whole thing easier on yourself I invite you to take opportunity of the free 1-on-1 consultation. I’d be more than happy to discuss with you what you need to do to learn how to put yourself in position to win instead.BTW..you know when you are off track in life (not just in dating) when what you are doing feels forced and does not feel good emotionally. So anytime you feel like you’re forcing and it doesn’t feel good stop trying to make things happen and take a step back and ask yourself .. why doesn’t this feel right?


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