Research.

by mssinglemama on November 23, 2008

Two questions:

1. What advice would you give other single parents for handling the holidays solo? I’ll be alone this Christmas and need the advice too.

2. Where are the best places to meet quality men? Here are some of my top spots to meet them, but I’m sure you have more to add.

I’m going to use your comments for some upcoming posts and videos. Thanks in advance. I can’t wait to read your advice on both of these issues.

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And then there were three… | DatingWithaSecret.com
January 28, 2012 at 4:02 am

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Cyndi November 23, 2008 at 7:41 pm

I made the biggest stinking deal ever out of Christmas last year. Not just because it was the N-man’s first one, but becase it gave me something to focus on. I over decorated my house (think Griswold), I went all out with the inside decorations. I baked and baked and baked… and I don’t bake. I also spent as much time as possible doing things for people who had it worse than me to stop me from working myself into a pitty party. N-man didnt’ have a clue, but it helped me feel good. Then on the actual day, it snowed like crazy. X was supposed to take N-man for the afternoon but with the weather, canceled. My mom and I had adult lunch reservations near his house so I turned on the 4 wheel drive and took N-man over there anyway without saying anything. Suprising the one person I wanted to kill most with something that meant so much to him did alot to help me feel better about how horrible our situation was. Killing him with kindness so to speak. It went a long long way.

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Angie November 24, 2008 at 5:43 am

Oh, I had to give up my Erin last Christmas, it was the hardest thing ever. For me, I wasn’t alone – but I was missing my little girl. I had to still make an effort to get through it because my son was home with me, missing out on big family festivities that his sister was participating in.

I managed by making the rest of the month our festive fun. We went to every toys-for-tots, singalong, tree-lighting, cookie decorating activity we could find. By the time Christmas arrived I was done with the holiday. I was going to get all dressed up with my son and go to a Christmas Dinner in DC, but we ended up seeing National Treasure instead!

My advise is to remember who you are and what makes you happy. Do you dread being alone? Get an invitation to a friends holiday dinner. Don’t hate the idea of being alone? Lots of places are still open on Christmas – go on out. But, most important, try lots of things this year and pick one that will become a “off Christmas day” tradition for you two. Even if Benjamin is with his dad, you will still have your before-Christmas tradition to keep the holiday special for mom and son.

And when you find the quality man pool, please share!

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Sheila November 24, 2008 at 11:10 am

One thing I did when I was single and childless was volunteer at a food kitchen. The place I went to had an over-abundance of volunteers and I was relegated to pure grunt work, but it filled my heart because I knew I was doing work that made other people’s holiday’s easier.

Schlocky, but true. If I were solo right now, I would do the same thing. Luckily, I have the baby on the holidays and he’s young enough to not care about them.

About meeting men, I have absolutely no clue. Maybe I just go to the wrong places, maybe I just give off a “don’t talk to her” vibe, but I haven’t met any kind of single, unattached man in the longest time. I can see how it could happen at bookstores go.

If anyone has any specific recommendations as to how to meet single men in Southern California, hook a sister up.

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LB November 24, 2008 at 2:58 pm

oh….I totally need advice on this too! I will be alone for thanksgiving and Christmas Eve…

Last year was the first time I really had to share my daughter and it totally broke my heart!

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jamie November 25, 2008 at 7:51 am

Every year i serve thanksgiving dinner to the homeless in my hometwon. It’s something my mom and I do together. But this year I’m going to take my son and we are going to volunteer at the woman and childrens shelter. I signed us up to do arts and crafts with the families, its gonna be all, paint, glue, glitter and of course cookies! He’s 5 and it’s all about the toys and santa! I want him to see what the holidays are really about, giving.

As far as being alone on the holidays as long as you surround yourself with friends and family you will be fine. I don’t think of christmas as a time to spend with a man, but with my grandma, mom, dad, sisters, kids, friends. All my old high school buddies come home and we get together and reminisce.

Try contacting so old friends and get a bottle of wine, (or eggnog your preference)and enjoy some great conversation and laughs.

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday! And if anyone is feeling lonely or sad please feel free to email me!

peace
freespirited mama

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O Solo Mama November 25, 2008 at 9:04 am

I think it’s important to get the balance right. You can over-plan or under-plan. I’m a sucker for under-planning and hoping things will work out spontaneously. . .usually doesn’t happen. But doing things like editing out all your “alone” time because you think it’ll make you sad might be a good example of overdoing it–if you’re surrounded by people you love throughout the season, you’ll want some down time. My advice is really basic: invite the people you like to spend time with you. Set specific dates and times so that you give your holidays some structure. I really like the idea of volunteering. If I had no kids, I’d do that too.

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mssinglemama November 26, 2008 at 12:23 pm

Thank you everyone! These tips are flippin’ fantastic….

I hope you all have an awesome Thanksgiving and hopefully I’ll get all of these tips and mine into a post before Christmas! : )

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VISIT THIS LINK May 1, 2013 at 10:19 am

It’s nearly impossible to find knowledgeable people in this particular topic, however, you sound like you know what you’re talking about!
Thanks

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