Do you still believe in “The One”?

by mssinglemama on November 18, 2008

I certainly hope not.

Not that I don’t believe in love or anything – I’m a huge fan of love. But fantasy ideas of finding “the one” or a “prince charming” can be reckless for your children and your self. Actually, it could save us all a lot of heartache if we entered relationships with our heads, keeping our hearts in check, while we assess our true compatibility with a man.

Read this article from Psychology Today to find out why.

[P.S. I found this while researching relationships! Scary stuff, I tell ya. My head by the way, is still very securely in place, and it feels wonderful. Another Mr. Man post is coming soon... just been busy catching up from our big trip this weekend.]

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

T November 18, 2008 at 8:49 am

Lust may be the original attractor, or even a few things in common. But I still believe it takes time to feel TRUE LOVE. And though I knew that from being married for 15 years, I always seem to forget it at the beginning of a relationship.

Thanks for the reminder.

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Erin November 18, 2008 at 9:27 am

Thanks for sharing this great article. I definitely have come to the same conclusions about my next relationship(s). Time is the answer and keeping your head on straight is important. I read an article in National Geographic a few years back about love and what happens to the brain. Basically it said that the brain chemistry of someone who is newly in love (or lust) reads similarly on a brain scan as someone who is mentally ill. Really interesting! I hope you had a wonderful weekend, can’t wait to hear about it!!

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Wyliekat November 18, 2008 at 10:01 am

I think there is such thing as “the one”, though I wouldn’t have thought so a year ago. However, I also happen to think there is more than one “the one” for most people.

I suppose that makes no sense to anyone not a resident of my brain.

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Sheila November 18, 2008 at 10:28 am

That article is really great.

I am so glad I found this blog … I really do not feel so alone anymore, because this is exactly how I feel.

There are times I get SO frustrated at my exhusband and my ex-inlaws just being so complicit with his behavior, and you know, it’s great to have PROOF (via this article) that he really wasn’t acting normally.

Our marriage, by the end, was like roomates with very occasional benefits. Ridiculous.

And, yes, to echo the commenter above, I really was acting like I was mentally ill when I first met my ex!!! LOL!

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mama llama November 18, 2008 at 10:37 am

This is a good article, which pretty much sums up ALL that went so wrong…

In agreement with T, I believe that it takes a lot of time to know if there is “The One” type of compatibility. That is proven and shown to each other reciprocally, not unilaterally. I believe in The One–but I don’t believe in Prince Charming coming to sweep me off my poor aching feet.

Be well.

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pisceshanna November 18, 2008 at 11:34 am

Yeah its pretty obvious to me now that I can never get involved with someone based on how good the sex is EVER again.

Ugh I can’t beleive I survived my 20s (well almost).

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LB November 18, 2008 at 11:45 am

Thanks for sharing…that is a great article!

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CME November 18, 2008 at 1:14 pm

I needed to read that. It’s so true. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading more about Mr. Man.

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Mike November 18, 2008 at 3:55 pm

Remember not to “over think” the relationships. I think the more you’ve gone through them the “faster” you are to recognize what will work and what won’t work…

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Momma Mac November 18, 2008 at 6:41 pm

Thanks for sharing this article. It is so true, I wish I had read this before I married the ‘ex’!

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O Solo Mama November 19, 2008 at 5:56 am

There is no such thing as “the one”. This article brings a lot down to earth. I’ve lways been struck by the fact that when relationships work, the couple is at heart friends–the same attributes that make close friendships work also make couples work over the long run, married or otherwise. And let’s face it–no one talks about having “one” friend! Thanks for sharing!

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Katherine (SOLO dot MOM) November 19, 2008 at 2:25 pm

This one had to be just for me! Alaina, this is great info and soooo true.

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PT-LawMom November 22, 2008 at 8:19 am

Wow, great stats! Good reminder. Now to just stop over-analyzing each potential relationship… ;)

Reply

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